Oh I love animate object. It fucks HARD. Also useful outside of that

Nope I can become wetter... or is water itself even wet?

Never been this wet before... I do like it somehwat...

ROBERT is going into the book too. I will have my revenge on him too.

Mudmin Barrack's. The guard at the till there. FUCK EM. I WILL FUCK HIS LIFE. I got a picture of that.

FUCKING NO ALKJ!??! AND THE ONLY I CAN GET IS FUCKING 50 GOLD FOR 5 LITERS!!!!

Aunti got REALLY weird and intense when I told her I woke up by the river and don't remember my past.

I GOT THE [VENOME] Meat eating Horse. Let's fucking goooooooooo

FUCKING LONG ASS TRAVEL!!!!!!

Adding to my last post.... I FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE POLITICS!!!!

I AM A FUCKING GOD! I called what Oliver would be up to once he returned. What happened? He DID came with the Sultan to us and rejoined us :) I will be the god of the domains of sex, drugs and rock and roll.

HOLY SHIT These orcs keep getting bigger and stronger. I swear give em some more time and I will have trouble handling them. Oh and battling them will become harder too ;)

Those Motherfuckers betrayed me faster than I expected so... fuck em. Well I am planning on fucking Red at least, could taste his lips tonight though. UwU

Last session: Bitch from that one kingdome where I fucked her daughter and "ruined some important diplomatic shit" actually send people to kill/catch me. Question is... which Bitch from that one kingdome where I fucked her daughter and "ruined some important diplomatic shit" was it?

This long spikey and clingy tentacle from the death blight entangled me really good after I tried not getting caught... though uhm... while it did hurt it did grab me GOOD! What can I say? I am a sucker for someone who can have a good grip on me ;)

Man this dungeon sucks ass and not even the good kind. My group should never fucking take a contract without me. We just kill off zombies and then deal with giant infected mushroom who are way too hard.

Fucking what happened last time exactly? I can't remember really up until we ended up in some strange dwarfen dungeon and sadly not a sexy one either. Could spend some quality time with Micheal though. He is prett secretive with his past... I don't like that. Should definitly keep tabs on him. Maybe even tap that before the inevatable happens.

Doing an all nighter party before the attack from the enemy on the city aka not taking a long rest was maybe not the smartest idea I had... then again also not the dumbest. I hold myself up fucking well if I may so myself. If it weren't for the drugs it would definitely be worse. So kids, say yes to drugs. especially when engaging in siege combat.

Session 13: Mandate of Gold

Session 13: Mandate of Gold

Session 12: The Long Road Home

Session 12: The Long Road Home

For the Anals of History. I was against taking the bio weapon with us.

Session 11: Hunting the Hunters

Session 11: Hunting the Hunters

Session 10: Catch Twenty-Two

Session 10: Catch Twenty-Two

So Red had an idea with oil in a waterskin to throw it behind us to make escape easier. I had a slightly different idea. A more firery idea. Ohhhh... this gave me a fantastic idea for a name too. Sensu's golden shower will turn up the heat at any party and will garanty fun for everyone in one way or another ;)

Session 9: The Carnival Comes to Town

MORG'S MOONSHINE IS THE BEST SHIT! I felt tips after only ONE shot

Session 9: The Carnival Comes to Town

Session 8: Big Monsters, Bigger Problems

AWww yeah. Found this elvish cuty as my group did some boring work stuff. She was like totally into me. I did my usual peacock dance and wrapped her in a nice song and dance before making her blush. I must say elves are the race that are the hardest to make blush but definitly look the cutest. I am sure we can see how cute they are even closer tonight ;)

Session 8: Big Monsters, Bigger Problems

Session 7: Old Enemies, New Friends

Session 7: Old Enemies, New Friends

Session 6: Little Trouble in Big City

Session 6: Little Trouble in Big City

We found our gurl. SLAY TIME! YES QUEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!

Session 5: Country Roads

Session 5: Country Roads

Not the first time I was chased by someone... or guards. Will not be the last time. I do like it at this point. Makes you feel alive and like you did some work this morning. Also a really nice workout routin, I noticed I can run for MUCH longer every time this happens. Though I could live without the fear of getting potentially murdered.

Session 4

Session 4

Session 3

Session 3

WTF is a Worldanvil and why is it so bad?

Session 2

Session 2

Meet three people and looks like we are a thing now. Disposed of some GIANT rats and some weird and brutal ghoul lizard freak things. With my wits I put them down of course so the team could finish up the rest. So we got now Mr. Handsome, Eshemi the fighter, Xelfy the sorcerer and healer and Oliver the smöl but fiesty kitty cat. The last one saw through my disguse AND he can talk. Also he can TALK WITH HIS MIND!!! Group name hasn't been decided on but I am for the Furious Five. That way we can always say we got another member to back us up at any point and everyone would be afraid that we still have our ace in the hole. But anyway I was paid and it's time to PARTEEEEEEEEEY WHOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Session 1

Session 1

Okay, I know I said it before. But I think this time I REALLY fucked it up.