The Lamia Job

Ive been wandering in the Underdark for some time now. Existence vs Living is a choice, and I choose to start living! I hear there is plenty of opportunity on the surface. I must learn to get along with other races. Rumor has it, there is an organization called The Iron that pays specialists for tasks. I will seek this place out.
 
It's been a month and I heard that the Iron has a new location. There has to be plenty of work clearing out a new hub. I will head there
 
Upon arrival, I see every race imaginable. Dragonkin, gnomes, elves, dwarves and many others. All professions as well. The Iron seems to be well equipped.
 
The interview seemed to go well.
 
Clerk: So what can you do that is special, something that The Iron can use.
 
Well, (suddenly, the room is concealed in total magical darkness.) I get out of the chair very quietly and walk behind the desk and whisper in the clerks ear "I could kill you and you would never see it coming"
 
Clerk: GUARDS GUARDS!!!!
 
Iron guards burst in the room. The total darkness catching them off guard, the trip and fall over the furniture. I stand a chair back up in the corner and take a seat. I drop the spell and the room is filled with guards strewn about the floor all over each other.
 
Clerk: Well, uh, yes, yes indeed, I can see you will do fine. Guards, you may leave now.
 
The guards gather themselves and their things, giving me a sour look as I smile at them, and take their leave.
 
Clerk: The way we compensate is based on your skills in gathering. Unless it is a special item, you keep what you find. This can range from adventures of 500 gold, to 15000 gold. It just depends. You will be assigned to groups of 4. You do not choose who to venture with. If these terms are acceptable, sign here.
 
With minimal movement, I cast mage hand, pick up the quill, dip it in the ink, and sign, laying the pen down.
 
The clerk looks at me with a wry smile. "Yesssss, I think you will do just fine". In fact, (the clerk shuffles some papers), oh yes here is is, there is a group of 3 waiting for a 4th.
 
The clerk hands me a skip, "Take this to the field Captain and he will fill you in on the job"
 
Taking the skip I am told about a Lamia who seems to be culling riches from the wealthy.
 
You are assigned with a Ranger, Paladin, and Bard. We have a supplier in the Quartel. You may gear up there. Standard pricing.
 
I head to the supplier an purchase a greater healing potion. Paladin.... Sheesh, I guess they're testing whether I can get along with anyone.
 
We head out in the morning. Analyzing the team I see we are mixed of many different types. Indeed a test. Nijael is a bard of some ego. If Narcissism had a picture, he would be it. Shadow Fox is quiet, doesn't say much and Kemurial seems to be a cookie cutter Paladin.
 
We arrive at the location. The bank is resplendent. Almost reminds me of Menzoberranzan. The Bard immediately starts pushing his way to the front. This guy is going to bring the house down on us! Getting in line he starts whining to the teller to hurry things up. Once it is his turn, he basically demands to see who is in charge.
 
Diplomacy is not this guys forte. One would think one who has entertainment skills would have some level of charisma!
 
As expected, he is escorted out the door by a guard. I follow behind them with the rest of the party. Closing the door, I draw my hand crossbow and hold it to the guards head. The bard attacks, The guard is quite experienced at defending himself. I fire hitting him with both shots. And then, its the Paladin's move. The Paladin doesn't withholds his action on the pretense of morality. WHAT!!!! We needed to kill this guy quick and fast. This mistake costs us and costs us big. The guard is able to pound on the door raising an alarm.
 
I already hate the Paladin! We down the guard and what does the Paladin do! HE BRINGS HIM BACK! The group ties up the guard and goes to enter a bank that has had the alarm raised. While they are off starting their onslaught, I go around the corner and finish the damn guard. Last thing we need is someone pinning us in.
 
The fight is pretty balanced. We are handling our own, until someone yells, KRONK! PULL THE LEVER!!!!! At that moment, the wall safe blows off the wall and takes out Nijael an Kemurial. Both are barely alive. Shortly there after a Werebear and a Mage enter the battle. The mages area damage capabilities is effective. The safe is then returned to blow again. Luckily, missing us. Another area of damage and I am almost dead.
 
We are not going to win against the whole bank. Nijael is down and Shadow Fox just fell. I'm almost dead and the Paladin is questioning his beliefs. I quaff my potion, cast darkness an begin retreat. The Paladin follows shortly after me.
 
I spend half the day bull shitting the Paladin that he did the right thing which upholds it oath. Frankly, I don't care whether or not he does, I just need him alive and functional to get back to the Iron.
 
Upon return, I report to the clerk. The clerk is highly judgmental of the result. I point out that if the Iron continues to appoint morons to my party, this will be a short contract.
 
The clerk says a rescue effort will be organized and that I and the Paladin will lead it.
 
With biting sarcasm I reply..... Wonderfull..........