You know who

Journal Entry 31
 
Years have i dreamt of this moment. Played it over and over again in my head. What I would do when I would finally see him. What I would say. How I would strike him down with all my might, that build up hate channeled through my hands. I didn’t think I would turn into a mindless ghoul again, like all those years ago. I wouldn’t think I would turn into that young dwarf again, as cowardly now as i was as then. The power he holds. He so casually sits there, waving commands to his minions. How everything is just handed to him, again. How he barely seemed to remember me. What shaped the path of life for me, is for him just a page in his book. A word. The space bitween the words. Barely worthy of his attention. And when his eyes did finally gaze upon me, the pages turned to dust and ash, just like the whole world around us has.
I’m drinking to forget. I’m fighting to not feel so helpless all the time. And yet, here I am. Helpless, cowering behind my companions. Time really has repeated itself.
 
Yesterday began hopefull. It was a bit hard to get to, with the lava and all, but we made our way to the warehouse. We fought a barrel, but other then that, we got pretty lucky. There where some barrels that where just barrels, full of alcohol and water. We found ourselves some usefull items too; gold and stones, ballista’s, even a spellbook. We managed to get everything on the cards with some pretty nifty use of our abilities. We also stumbled upon Tristain and his crew, who had just finished his last breath. Leogym tried to save him with his druid magic. He seemed pretty pleased with himself when he finally managed, but to be honest I think it was mainly Caja’s kiss that brought him back to life.
After that we saw the other body’s move, i got myself a bit of a scare, because I thought they’d turn into undead. They remind me of – that time. Turned out to be some hellchickens. This Avernus is full of surprises. What’s next, hellpuppy’s? Even the cute things get turned to shit here.
 
Back in the camp we met this garrison leader Rokus again, and so it was decided we would meet – you know who - soon. Fenrir seemed set on meeting the bastard RIGHT AWAY. I don’t know why he seemed so eager. After al he’s been through, still has too much faith in people. It will be his downfall. And after what happened to me this morning - … i am not sure anymore I can protect him – or any of my companions. I feel weak. Not in the body. It’s a sickness of the mind. Maybe the alcohol is not helping me anymore.