The Hot Shot #6 Final Entry

Deep inside the basement of Homestead is my home. At least now. It's where I do my work. It's part of the fight. It's the struggle. To adapt. To overcome. Without Joanna and Jason to guide me. I am alone to face the world. I see it now. With my own blue eyes. It's mine for the taking. I can do this. Socrates comes around. No one else. Which is fine. Gives me time to sort things out. That fateful day comes. Where I have done what I could it's time to leave my home in Homestead. But first I have to take care of some business.
 
Socrates has been gone for a few hours. I'm tired and my improvements to The Heater are looking good. I hope it works. It should. I've done my homework. Sure is ugly though. Life has it's ugly side. I embrace it. I'm the ugly face of this team. I'm looking to give the ugly back. Soon.
 
I take off my armor and all my clothes. It's dead silent here. Cold. Dark. But somehow life seems to be shining on me. I feel warm. Calm. Profound. I look into a piece of glass. I pull my hair back. Tie it. "You've lost alot of weight j." "And I love what you've done with that hair!" The matte finish is a great new color." I sit back done. Take out the pen my Dad gave me my first day at AAA. And a notepad I've held onto. One last thing. And I sit here. Beautiful. Alive. Wholesome.
 
Dear Joanna and Jason,
 
By the time you read this I'm probably dead. If not I soon will be. But today I have a few minutes deep below Homestead to write you. My final thoughts of who you knew as Jasmine Ariel Crabtree. Your kid sister, Mom and Dad's last child. Mother of Jacqueline Ann and my little boy Jeremy who died because we were already on the lam after the vanishing started. I could not get the care he needed. He died in my arms that night. He cried and cried then he said I love you mommy. I said I love you my little boy Jeremy. Then I cried and cried. He was so small and beautiful.
 
I'm doing this so at least you'll have something to show my surviving child if you and your kids as well can make it though this. As I write this the pen Dad gave me my first day at AAA is running out of ink. Like I'm running out of time. Things are getting dire. One by one day by day the supers that were here aren't coming back. Tonight I get serious about this. There is no turning back. So many are counting on me.
 
I love all of you with all of my heart. Please get out of here and make a run to Vibora Bay. Family wealth there is greater than up here? There has to be some family left there that can take you in? Our name is on the building. Better fishing? Losing you is the hardest things I've ever had to do!
 
Before I go. Don't be sad. Smile at the times we had together. Cherish those memories and make new ones with our children.
 
Love. -j
 
Filling the floor with crumpled up ink filled papers. I write until the pen empties. I get one keeper. I wrap it up. I'll have Socrates get a courier to take it to my family. Or what's left of them after all of this. I gather my gear. Don the body armor. A scoul settles onto my face. I pull my hair from the bow. I leave here. Never coming back. From here on out. I am never going back. Not one foot. Ever! Calm. Ready. Focused.
 
I hand the folded up paper to the hologram of Socrates before I leave to go to the Division base. With some dollars. I say to it, "There is a courier service who can get this to my brother and sister. Joanna and Jason. The life I had was over. This is all I am now. And there will be hell to pay!"
 
Socrates nods and says, "Remember to breath j."