I’m not sure how I feel about what’s going on right now.
I came along for my own reasons, as well as to help Grimaldus, but it feels like I’m just being dragged into other people’s problems. I want to talk to Inara for her assistance. It’s been some time since that vampire teleported me out to that desert. The recollection has been slipping from my mind as of late, and I’m afraid that even if we happened across that place I’m searching for, I wouldn’t know it.
I feel a cold about me. Not so much the temperature around me, but.. more like a lack of warmth. I don’t know. It’s hard to describe.
It’s good to have Inira around again. I missed her while I was gone. It’s nice to have some companionship; someone I don’t feel the need to hide around. I’ve come a long way since meeting her. I no longer use armor to hide myself for fear of persecution. I am no longer ashamed of what I am.
It’s obvious that I’m descended from a gold dragon somewhere in my lineage, but who knows how or when. I feel like Henry would tell me not to let where I come from distract me from where I’m going. A person doesn’t reach their destination by watching the path behind them. I miss Henry. Grimaldus sort of reminds me of him, in a way. Perhaps that’s why I so readily agree with/follow him? I wish someone had the answers I seek, if just to close that chapter of my life.
I don’t know how she feels about it, but I worry about what will happen between Inira and I when she fully understands that I’m trying to kill The Blood Lord. Shard. I also worry about what I may need to sacrifice along the way to do so. Even I don’t believe that Shard gained the power he did without sacrifice; and if I’m out here, trying to follow in his footsteps to gain the same power.. will I become like him? A vampire? A force of evil and destruction that will further plunge this world into Chaos? Will I even still be me? I don’t know. I suppose that’s part of why I decided to come out here. To find these answers as well.