The Remarkable adventures of The Duke

Well, I guess I better start somewhere... had this old journal in my pack for weeks, was going to start writing in it while I was on my death bed, I guess an impending ignominious shuffling off this mortal coil brings on writers block.
 
Strange how things turn out, I mean waiting on the reaper to come for you makes you think about a lot of things, but enough of that, I have a second chance, and this time nothing is going to stop me, fate, destiny, call it what you will, The Duke is grabbing it with both hands!!
 
I suppose a recap of events since arrival in this strange world is in order.
 
The Duke has never been one for placing his fate in the hands of the gods, I mean, old Captain Skank used to always be cursing some god or praising another for kind winds, way I see it, you make your own fate. Well, thats what I thought before, before being plucked from my sick bed, dropped in this colourful place, seemingly cured, not a trace of that blight that had brought The Duke down.
 
Is this place even real? I had my doubts at first, clockwork birds and all manner of strangeness, but I don't know, theres something all too real about it, its different from a dream, it tastes different, smells different, feels different. I can't put my finger on it, but it kind of feels more real than my own world, the one where your dashing hero doesn't get to fulfil his potential and the grey world is robbed of a being of beauty. (of course me!)
 
You can usually tell a lot about a place by its inhabitants, those inbred peasants in that last town for example, more money than sense, more money than class. The mud pit that they had the gall to call a town, it looked like it had been spewed forth from the filthy gullet of some poorly earth elemental, ore, funny how quick a place changes when precious metal is discovered nearby...and how quickly the inhabitants change. You can see that look of money happiness on their faces and draping their bodies. Looking like they had dressed themselves in the dark, as I said, no class. Fat purses and fatter heads, my two favourite kinds of fat...(although I do have a soft spot for those butter skulls, so quaint), the rich trappings are just a front, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear. The rotten core at the centre can always be sniffed out.
 
This place though, it absolutely reeks of potential, a whole world for the taking! Fame, glory and riches growing on the trees almost.
 
and these bows, a very strange people, childlike in their naievety, but I have never seen any other race learn how to do something as fast as they do, remarkable, and a trait that could be exploited, in a good way of course, for the benefit of all (but mostly me).
 
I should also spare a word for my companions, a strange bunch indeed, from worlds that sound just as strange as they.
 
they all seem to have been saved from the reaper as well, the gods of this world seemingly seeing potential in them.
 
They have proven sterling allies thus far, capable in a scrape, and they seem honourable.
 
There is a guild that runs the show here (isn't there always), surprisingly though they actually seem to be more than just there to tax your loot. All adventurers taken from other worlds, most wanting to get home (though what if they are merely returning to their death?!), some seem to have put down roots here.
 
Prism, thats the name of the city, nice place, clean, colourful...could do with a little more decoration though, it is a bit...well...bland.
 
Prism is split into districts, all different colours, and different colours of these bows perform different funtions, the purple district has The Dukes name written all over it, so I have mostly taken up residence there whilst not adventuring.
 
Made some contacts there, hooked up with the guild (nudge nudge , wink wink), won some coin, the less said about the run in with the law the better (that ticker bird that greeted us when we arrived was in jail for some reason...I never asked).
 
This guild gave us some start up capital, you know for essentials. So I immediately replaced my wardrobe, one cannot buckle swashes without ruffled sleeves, pantaloons and a good pair of boots. Aunt Petunia used to say, "Ruffles maketh man" (also, very capable Bow tailor, I should give them a job once things take off).
 
Myself and my capable companions took on some jobs from the guild. A local farm had been attacked by n'erdowells and an investigation was required, also a cull of Owlbears, a good price per beak returned, easy money!
 
It didn't take us long to find the ghastly scene at the farm, "Butterskull Ranch", terrible thing, band of roving savages had swarmed the place and murdered the peasants. We did though find a survivor, little Pickle, Caerrin (our brave paladin) took her under his dragon wing (oh, he is a Dragonborn), she seems to have taken a shine to him also.
 
We came across some fearful creatures, one of the buggers almost squashed me to death, my whole second life flashed before my eyes, it was brief let me tell you, fortunately my companions have already come to terms with the fact that they could not bear to be without The Duke, and they brought me back from the brink.
 
Anyway, enough of that, we of course vanquished the savages that had overrun the farm, coming across some stranger tied in the cellar of the house with a couple of hogs, I mean, I have heard a story or two about how intimate farmers are with their livestock, but I never knew hogs were so good at tieing knots, or that kinky.
 
Having secured the farm, your hero and his companions tracked some owlbears, fearful creatures, claws like cutlasses and fearsome beaks that would pop a mans head like a water melon. They were of course no match to my masterful dueling prowess, my companions lending a hand of course.
 
We camped down for the night and I took 1st watch (Fynwent may not need magic to become a necromancer, his snoring could wake the dead!!, Oh Fyn is our resident Wizard, strange chap, obsessed with whats inside bodies and the like, very macabre. A huge fan of my singing though, so obviously a man of taste), and the strangest thing happened. My keen eyes spotted this rustling in the grass, I heroically investigated, and came across the cutest little fella you could meet. The owlbears we had just despateched had offspring and the poor little soul was all alone. It of course recognised The Duke for the remarkable person he is and became instantly besotted. I called him Captain Beaky, The Captain. He will grow up to be a big fella, handy thing to have protecting you. (he makes a cute gurgling sound when you rub his belly, but I suppose not the first creature to have done so, there was that tiefling....).
 
Returning to the guild with our prizes (they seemed surprised to see us, they obviously don't know The Duke), a raucous party was thrown in our honour, I lit up the room with my wit and a shanty or two of course, The Captain behaved, only pecked a few people.
 
After a few days of recuperation (they love me in that purple district, some scoundrel accused me of cheating at cards, how dare he, sore loser, i had won a pretty penny too, easy come, easy go) we took on some more quests from the guild, we seem to be the only capable group actually making progress here, of course with The Duke in the group, how could they fail.
 
I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say yours truly shone as usual, sometimes I even amaze myself at the skills I posess with a blade.
 
We busted open some kiddy kapture kult, some freak was kidnapping kids and sacrificing them to a demon (power probably, usually is with these freaks), oh and our resident Pally managed to get himself captured, so of course The Duke answered the call of our fair princess and rescued the damsel (I have rescued fairer damsels in my time, there was that goblin one time....).
 
The keep that the crazy demon guy had occupied seems to be servicable, dwarf masonary, very high quality, my companions and I have decided to claim it as our own, lets help these Bows make a push out of their city, thats what their gods brought us here for, right? They never said we couldn't profit also, right? Aeren seemed especially keen (She is a spooky one Aeren, looks like butter wouldn't melt, until she starts swinging that scythe, the reaper himself would be proud of her prowess)
 
We had picked up some other quests, spoke to some bard about finding "the greatest ballad ever", (they will one day recount this journal as the very same), he was going to perform it at a prominent Bow wedding (why didn't I get an invite? we will remedy that).
Also we were to track down some nefarious murderer, luckily for us they both seemed to be located in the same place, so we headed off on our adventure.
 
It seems to be that my companions just want to feel the euphoia of being rescued by The Duke, Elezra (our resident god botherer, capable lass, mouth on her like a sailor, heart of gold though, she had been helping out orphans in Prism), got herself captured on a recon mission, so again The Duelist Duke had to save the day. Seems our murderous friend had himself a little harem, had some softer less warlike orcs under his sway and took their women, had planned to add Elezra to their number it seems. He of course surrendered once faced with The Dukes Dazzling Duelling, though I think Caerrin may have some issues, he breathed fire on the guys hands, I fanned them with my hat, poor fella.
 
This place is huge, its full of all manner of nasty, shadows that sap your strength, giant oozes, all manner of undead fiends, but as you may expect, no match for The Duke and his capable companions. OH but the loot, so much booty, this is a fair haul, this will start us on the road to fame and glory.
 
Cleared the keep (another claim to be put in? better ours than not), the grateful orcs were waiting outside for us, they had prepared a feast in celebration of their liberation, they offered us their fealty and we will put them to work in our burgeoning empire.
 
A quiet ride back, we stopped off at that temple again, oh I never mentioned it before, we came across some ancient temple, you can feel the calm, the peace, it is aplace of beauty indeed. My more god fearing companions made offerings at the alters and magical objects appeared in their place, an exquisite black silk cloak with the finest silver embrodiery, The Dukes style of course.
 
Arriving back at the keep, we were greeted by a surprise, the guild had in our absence built a road from Prism to the dwarf keep we had liberated, this will make our business plans run more smoothly, and also the reconstruction. I think I insulted a gnome, hmmph, he was a peasant anyway.
 
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...remember when I described my companions as capable, it seems i may have been hasty, our night watch took their eye off the prize and our "guest" escaped, ran off into the wilds and got himself killed, Aeren used some crystal ball we had came across in our adventures to track them down, we found them ok, riddled with arrows, I guess my selfless act of compassion in allowing the nefarious murderer to live was misplaced, he threw his life away, silly sausage.
 
I have a good mind to let those 2 go bring back the body themselves, the purple district is calling my name, and this fat sack of coins is screaming to be spent...."The Grand Duchy", i like that name, It's time to bring a bit of class to this place, Duke sized Class!
 
But alas first a traipse through the forrest to find our dead bounty...
 
Fairly eventful, a run in with some Ogres, vandals were trying to destroy some run down hovel, turns out they were after this little fellow, halfling, Oslo he calls himself strange fellow, can change into all manner of wild creature (Captain wasn't sure if he was food or not, I set him straight, can't have the Captain eating unsavoury morsels, he is a growing Owlbear).
 
We of course despatched the vandals with ease, saved the little fellow and set off on our way, the halfling joining our merry band of adventurers.
 
we found our bounty in not too fine fettle, full of poison gas and arrows, (Aeren and Elezra got a lung full of the nasty gas)
 
Taking our wayward quarry (well his head at least) back to camp, we encountered some lanky bugbears, they had the audacity to question The Duke, so of course were dispateched for their nerve, cheek, not knowing who The Duke is.
 
Arriving back at the Keep, we settled down for the night, a little rest before heading back into Prism to collect on our quests, more fuel for the fire eh Captain!
 
The Purple District is calling The Duke!
 
Came across a road gang, it seems the peasants have managed to complete it half way to the keep, so The Duke showed his generous nature, making it rain copper on the peasants, such a delight to watch them scramble.
 
The rest of the journey to Prism was fairly mundane, with only the silken honey tones of The Duke to entertain the merry band on their way back to the city (Fyn of course thoroughly enjoyed the performance, I think I saw tears well up in his eyes).
 
On returning to the guild, it wasn't quite the heroes welcome deserving of The Duke, but it seems the layabouts have gotten braver, hearing of the notorious exploits of The Duke and his merry band out in the world and have decided to go stiffen their spines. The Duke is happy to be an inspiration to these lessers, but won't of course take any responsibility for lost life or body parts.
 
Took our little forrest dwelling halfling Oslo to see Dandelion, she does have exquisite needlework, and the tatty, smelly rags this little fellow are wearing are not suitable for city life. She kitted him out in something...functional, he seemed happy, the material grows with the user apparently, He never asked if it shrunk though...
 
But enough of that, Dandelion had come across something that only The Duke could pull off, no other being in this plane could wear this outfit and look as fabulous as he (it will do nicely for this wedding that I will be rectifying the misplacement of my invitation).
 
Some further shopping with young Oslo (not sure how old he is, but I get the born yesterday feeling from him), insisted the smithy make him a bone mace (not another necromancer!), seems the smithy also has some magical items for sale, maybe once "The Grand Duchy" is up and running.
 
Visited my contact to sell the nic nacs, jewels and jewellery, got a reasonable price. More than the going rate of course, once I charmed him and renaged the tales of danger acquiring the loot. Returning to my companions and giving them their well earned share.
 
Investigtated the tower we "inherited", not much to look at currently, only having a stables, but it certainly has potential, it borders the purple district and is fairly near to the river.
 
No time to dally any longer, heading to do some business in the purple district, time to bring a bit of panache to this city, find premises for "The Grand Duchy"...
 
It does really help being a "people person", I got a fantastic deal on riverside property, already has a serviceable dining hall, plenty of room for expansion, this will do nicely!
 
So it seems that our presence was requested at this prominent bow wedding ( it was of course only a matter of time before they realised that The Duke's presence was a neccesity, one must always make sure that the most prominent and important people attend a wedding, if it is to be of any merit)
My less fashion conscious companions headed off, I of course took much longer to prepare my magnificent outfit (Dandelion does have an exquisite touch with a needle), and of course the guest of honour has to arrive fashionably late, and make an entrance to remember.
 
(it seems my judgement of exactly how not fashion conscious my companions are was miscalculated, that little forrest fellow insisting on attending as a cat in a bow tie! No sense of panache!)
 
Arriving at the wedding, i heard a commotion coming from inside (initially I thought it was the peasants unease at the guest of honour not being present, I mean I would miss me if I was not there, so of course the lessers would most certainly miss me), it turned out not to be the case at all, some hubbub had broken out, "The greatest song in the world" turning out to be a spell to summon forth demons, dastardly! During the commotion, the bride and groom came to a bitter end ( i call karma for their dallying with The Dukes invite), such a shame, but not the first death at a wedding I have seen. There was that one time when Wooden Teeth Wendy stabbed Jolly Jackson in the heart with the sharp end of the wedding boquet, he had been doing some playing away from home, but she felt that the altar was the best place to publicly air her grievance, wasn't so Jolly Jackson after that, I can tell thee, but I digress.
 
That ole whats his face from the adventurers guild, Bromusk, turned up with a few of the less skilled adventurers (well they are all lesser skilled than The Duke of course), seems that the blighter that brought my companions to the wedding was the spit of ole Bromusks brother, who had apparently died many years previous. Obviously Bromusk turned to ourselves in aid with his brotherly conundrum, so we shall do a bit of rooting around, see what we can see.
 
Oh, on a side note, whoever is beind this shall pay dearly for robbing The Duke of his fabulous entrance at the wedding, how dare they!
 
Well, well, well, what devious trickery is afoot? on returning to The tower that my companions choose to inhabit when in town (The stable causes a bit too much of a stink for my liking, so I don't stay there). Some ne'er do wells had broken into the place and made off with some valuables of ours, magic items and they even had the gall to take Satis with them (Satis is a lil bitey dragon turtle that Aeren is raising, captain and her seem to get along swimmingly). I mean the cheek of it, daring to steal from the Dukes companions, and in broad daylight, have they no shame!
We are nothing if not a resourceful crew, and we used some trickery of our own to track down the scoundrels (it did help that it seemed bitey Satis took one of the ruffians fingers off as they tried to spirit her away). Catching up with the light fingered louts with no trouble, we confronted them. Despite their bravado and chest puffing, as soon as I, The Duke spoke, the curs quailed and immediately surrendered. (though one of the fools tried to make a break for it, Elk Oslo trampled his skull in). Turns out these vagrants had been hired by someone, they could not tell us, if they wanted to, whom, as they had been enchanted (now this sounds familiar...). We came up with another means of tracking them, it did mean Fyn blasting Oslo with a spell, but the lad can take it (I am sure Fyn enjoyed it too, lad doesn't smile often, but I am sure I saw his lips curl into a sembleance of a smile as he cast that spell).
Tracking Oslo, we managed to find whom had hired these varmints. Myself, Fyn and Aeren entered a small "quaint" inn nearby (no competition for The Grand Duchy of course), and waited it out. When the time was right we made our move.
Now, I have seen many a thing in my travels, (many of those will be referred to within this journal if you are fortunate), but the way that this wannabe thieves guild competition chump looked at Oslo in Elk form...It chilled me to the bone, I mean I am all for love, caring for animals, but combining the two, it seemed thats what this dwarf had in mind for Oslo Elk. Anyway, less said about his intentions the better, I think the lil forrest chap had messed with the guys head...a lot.
So, this dwarf foolishly is trying to set up his own thieves guild, and we certainly cannot have that, especially with The Grand Duchy opening it's doors soon, there are enough vagrants and thieves around without encouraging more, so this will be stopped...immediately. The fop has pledged himself to "work" for us, lets see what he can do after he leads us to our reall quarry, his master. This master of his turns out not to be ole Bromusks brother, but a shape shifter that likes to take on the forms of the dead, well lets see what form he takes when he is dead, as he has messed with the wrong crew.
This dwarf has agreed to keep us informed of any developments with this shape shifter, a meeting is arranged with them, and we shall gate crash.
 
First things first though, I shall do what I do best, people... The Duke shall go and do some reconnaissance before this meeting, pre warned is pre armed as my old Uncle Eustas used to say.