To Shiara's market and back again (session 20 or 33)

Dear Trystane,
I heard you asked for me.
I don’t know what to say. And quite frankly, I’m scared to face you. I did a lot of stupid things . I climbed into a cannon on the way from High hall to Shiara’s market for example. We were going to Shiara’s market because we negotiated with Uldur Ravenguard to send food and water your way at least once a week. As you’ve probably heard by now, we brought the first shipment.
Anyway, the bridge connecting east and west Elturel was still broken. On our way there we saw a gnome tinkering with a cannon. He suggested someone should climb into it and he would shoot that person (me) to the other side. Which he almost did. Luckily Ron flew right beside me and caught me before I actually fell down into the Styx. With a rope and some help from Fenrir I got back onto the ground. The gnome then continued to study Rons flying boots and managed to make some gloves which makes the carts with supplies float. That is how we eventually managed to cross the bridge. There were still some devils on the other side, but we had a deal with them so we could pass the bridge chasm twice. They said we did that when Ron went back and forth for the second cart (I don’t agree, none of us do) but we decided to not make a big deal out of it and continued to the market.
Once we arrived at the market we were greeted by Melina, who was kinda angry we “didn’t fulfil the mission”. I thought the important part was to get you guys food and water, but apparently she thinks it more important that the supplies don’t come from High hall. Someone (I can’t remember who) told us she was at High hall during the descent, and that must have been traumatising, but starving to death can’t be much better.
Melina also said both you and Nori asked for me. I was kinda scared to see the both of you, but decided I would see Nori first. You know, since she’s family. She was quite pissed at me when she saw me when I first came to Avernus. But she was the reason I came here. I want her to get back. To make up for running away. And I’ve written to her. A lot. And she managed to forgive me (although it did take her quite some time). You see, I’m scared you’re disappointed with me too. And unlike Nori, I’ve never spoken with you since I ran away. I don’t understand why you would forgive me for not being there. And when I saw you, under the rumble in the warehouse, I felt like I was 16 again. And we were best friends. And I was secretly in love with you. Do you even remember we made out, the night before you were sworn in? I know I haven’t spoken to you in 7 years (which is probably why I am so scared to talk to you), but what if I’m still into you? What if you’re married? What if you’re not? This kind of thing scares me so much. I really wanted to talk to you, but I was also kinda glad Clove Ikaya (who ordered us to see him when I talked to Nori) said we should ride with him and 40 hellriders to High hall to seal the deal we made (I actually thought it already was sealed, but what do I know?)
Anway, Nori fixed the bridge magically, so we didn’t have to use the cannon again. Or probably so the horses could pass easily. We weren’t supposed to be part of the negotiation, so everyone decided this was the best time to descend down into Avernus while they were still talking. I got to say goodbye to Nori and Rhivaun (it seems so weird he’s here as well. Is your old mentor still around? Do you still see him?) but I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to you. I really wanted to, but I didn’t want to bother everyone else. And now I feel guilty. I kinda think none of the others realise we go into actual hell. We might very well die out there. And who knows how long we will be there? It might take forever to find that damn sword. And none of them bothered to say goodbye to their family. I just didn't get to say goodbye to you.
Anyway, I got kinda distracted while writing this. I wanted to tell you I still care about you. And that I’m sorry I couldn’t see you. Once we find this damn sword and save all of Elturel I’ll talk to you. If I saved Elturel talking to you can’t be this scary anymore, now can it?
I’ll see you, hopefully very soon,
Caja