Catch My Fall

'I know the owner. It was no problem.'
 
It was hard to eat with a stomach tied up in knots. But it was his favourite burger joint in town, and they grated the pickles for him - they hadn't done that in a long, long time. Berry's shirt was new, a short-sleeved navy blue number with a black floral pattern. He had to pick something new to do this with. He had to make a good impression.
 
The dark loomed in through the windows, cut into strips by passing headlights and lingering streetlights. Murray's Burger Shack was a small place - it was mostly for take-out, but tonight there were two people sat in a corner booth.
 
'Yeah. I guess they wouldn't want to say no to you, right?' Berry wouldn't look up at him. He kept his eyes locked onto the bowl of fries. Busying himself with analysing the curves, the lines, the shapes made by random chance.
 
The man opposite him wasn't eating. His hands were cradled together on the tabletop. He faced the teenager with even, level attention. 'They would not. Because we've looked after them, they look after us.'
 
'Sure. Yeah. Whatever you-'
 
'You sold the van.' He interrupted Berry. 'Why'd you do that?'
 
'You caught that already, then... Yeah. I sold it. Didn't need it anymore.' Berry took a bite out of the burger. Even before he finished the bite he brushed the sesame seeds and crumbs from his lap.
 
'Because of your new home.'
 
'Because of that. Figures you'd have kept tabs on me.'
 
'Why'd you call?' He asked, leaning back into his seat. It wasn't an easy question to answer. Berry didn't like it. He felt like he had to, on some level. It had been a long time since they last spoke - even longer since they spoke in person. And with everything he'd been going through lately, he couldn't stop himself from making the call.
 
He put the burger down, but kept himself hunched over it. 'I'm not coming back.'
 
'I'm all for giving you your space, Berry. You've got to work some things out by yourself. I get that.'
 
'If you're giving me space, how'd you know I sold the van?' He raised his eyes up and looked at the man he called father. He was well-dressed, in a salmon dress shirt with the cuffs rolled up to his elbows. The kind of image he liked to wear; a smart, hard-working people person.
 
'You think I'm going to let you loose without being there to help you if you need me? You're still a kid, Berry. Of course I'm going to keep an eye out for you. You're my boy.'
 
'Fuck off...'
 
Mr. Dream leaned forward, planting his folded arms on the table. 'I messed up. But I know that. You don't have to do that shit if you don't want to. But you're family, and we're worried-'
 
'Fuck off! You told me to murder a man! I was- was fourteen! That's just- just- fucking- shit! For what? Owing you money? I don't want to be a part of that shit. Not anymore. I'm out, and I'm not coming back.'
 
'We're family, Berry. It's not by blood, it's by care. You know, no question, that I've got your back. You know I want the best for you. I know you didn't like what happened - and that's fine. We know that now. I'll never ask you to do anything like that again, alright?'
 
Berry's hand gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white. 'Yeah... Doesn't change it. Doesn't change what you do, what you make people do.'
 
Dream's calm was all-encompassing. Suffocating. 'It doesn't. But we do what we do to look out for our own. And you know the kinds of people we work against.'
 
'Like that fucking matters. You're just as bad. Handwaving away a human life because you can spin a fucking tale about it being justified. You make your money off all the same shit they all do, too.'
 
'We do it smarter. Cleaner. We don't hurt people out of the game. We don't put gen-pop in danger. We steer clear of the real evil shit. You know this.'
 
'Lesser evil's still evil, dad.' Berry shot back.
 
Dream gave Berry another calm, measured look over the rim of his glasses. No ice. No warmth. Just stating facts. 'I've made a point of not telling you what to do since you ran away. But you haven't gone after any of my businesses, Kintsugi. You haven't gone after me. You've been going after all kinds of criminal, but not my kind of criminal,' he unfolded a hand and laid his palm out towards Berry, 'in fact, you've been doing what I would've been telling you to do, for the most part.'
 
Berry had no argument to make. He just stared. Turned to stone.
 
'Why'd you call me, Berry?' There was something else in there. Concern. Genuine, real concern. That's what stung the most. 'You wouldn't call me if you just wanted to argue. You've done that a thousand times over in your head already, I bet.' He had. 'So what's wrong? I've made time for you, kid, so talk.'
 
Berry's hands rubbed over his face. 'Shit. This was a bad idea. God damn it, I shouldn't have-'
 
'Berry.' Dream's voice was stern. Commanding. It drew in respect and exuded authority. 'Tell me what's wrong.' He cared. Berry knew he cared. He always cared. It didn't change who he was, didn't change what he did, but he was right. He wasn't Berry's father, but he was his dad.
 
'It's a girl.' His mouth moving ahead of his mind. 'I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to hurt anyone but all I do is make things worse and hurt myself and-'
 
'Ssh. Calm down.' Dream was smiling. There's the warmth. The confidence. Berry needed that right now, and Dream wanted him to have it. This was why he called, deep down. He just wanted to ask his dad for advice. 'Tell me all about it, kid.'