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Murder at the Broadwood Estate

Scene 1: Introduction to Surrey Hills

  Scene 1.1 (There may be an introduction scene of characters arriving by conventional means, a Rolls Royce, which passes Dash walking to the stately manor house. Some at-the-time random comments about Dash will turn out to be a clue, giving the reader one free clue that Dash never learns.)   Scene 1.2 Dash arrives via the driveway into the porte-cochère at the front of the manor house by walking ... barefoot. The head servant (Butler) in a high double-breasted black waistcoat with more silver buttons on the front than anyone could ever use, patiently waiting out front, nods to him from a distance. As Dash approaches within speaking distance, the butler asks, "Password please?", then looks into the palm of his white glove which he holds at waist level. Dash answers, "Password. Centaurs, Satyrs, and Fauns. Unusual pronunciation. I imagine that improves the secrecy.” The butler gives him a wink and nod of approval and names him aloud, “Duke Dash Copper, welcome to the Broadwood Estate.” Dash jokes, "Are you using an electronic phallic recognition system, or does my reputation precede me?" "Indeed, Sir," he counters dryly yet good-naturedly, "Plus our head of security told me to expect you to be the one naked man walking from the guardhouse."   "You have no satchel, I see. That makes a search for weapons and spying devices unnecessary." "Your Officer Marple searched me at the gate ... both inside and out. I assure you she was most thorough." "Indeed she always is." "My satchel contained only highly encrypted nonsense as a distraction should I be intercepted. The security guards disposed of it for me." "As the old southern saying goes, 'A naked man cannot lose anything.'" “For he has nothing to lose, yes." "I'll provide some respectable attire fitting your station, but I am forbidden to do so until after your meeting with the Marchioness." Dash blinks once with suprise, but calmly replies, "Orders are orders." "Indeed, Sir, especially when they come directly from the Marchioness."   Scene 1.3 (Servant's Passageways)   Scene 1.4 (Parlor for Argueing) He is directed through the servants’ corridors to an opulent parlor room. He seems to be interrupting a heated debate. Did we expect an exotic dancer today?   We did not request a dancer for this meeting. Many apologies for the confusion, Matriarch. His exotic dancer attire, or rather lack of attire is for security purposes. This man belongs to ... this man is a husband of... this man is husband of the Duchess of X, sent with a message from the Duchess. The Duchess of clandestine spying equipment? It is well that you did bring him naked and shaved or I would’ve insisted he be searched again. I trust Officer Marple has inspected him? “I assure you she was most thorough” the men said almost in unison.   "And how is Mrs. Copper?" "Inscrutable as always." "And you are her only husband as of now, yes?" "To my knowledge, yes, ma’am." "Fine, her fidelity is a thing of legend." "Yes, Ma’am."   "Did you visit Broadwood's Tower?" "Once long ago as a tourist, (it is an "area of ourstanding natural beauty" as they say) but this time I took the more direct path by Box Hill. The view there is just stunning." "Oh, you should see Juniper Top north of here. Absolutely gorgeous." "Enthusiastically I shall, Ma'am, when conditions permit."   He delivers his message to the matriarch. His patroness has made a business decision that is too private to risk even secure mail.   News was of a land deal? Or business merger or buyout? The Duchess has completed procurement of land from the flats to the mountaintop and intends to begin construction of the proposed launcher system immediately. That means the Matriarch’s orbital satellites will have a very inexpensive launcher when they are ready. And a trusted frenemy in control of said launcher. Original people in room who heard the news: Matriarch who owns estate and rules it with an iron hand. Her assistant? Her secretary? People present in the room of the future murder: Butler and Male Detective. Matriarch and her male assistant. Victim Mrs. Robinson   There are various reactions from the people in the room.   Scene 1.5 (In private with the Matriarch.) "This room now has privacy that would no doubt impress anyone but yourself and the Duchess." "This tattoo on my forehead is the complete encoded message. It uses the Riddle cypher." "Decrypt Riddle cypher. Hmm. I see. And the passwords?" Passwords: Victor, demolition, applesauce, one word, puree, with no accent, flippant, spelled traditionally with two P's." "They sound rather ominous put together like that." "A randomized selection, I assure you, Matriarch." "And the final password? The final passcode is this tattoo mirrored left-right." "Oh, heavens above, so much secrecy. Oh. Heavens above. Quite a mutually lucrative proposal if the Duchess’ forecasts are accurate." "I have never known my wife to exaggerate." "What was that noise?"      

Scene 2: The Call to Action

  Scene 2.1 (The Crime Scene) The manservants go to the door and find it will not open for them. Argue about propriety. Bust the door open. See body and "smoking gun" on center of floor. Open door and open window. No other occupants.   Dead body found on floor is female, fallen face down. A fireplace poker is on the ground next to the body. A man’s weapon, to club someone over the head from behind. Or someone posing as a man.   "My patroness will have my head if I return with this mystery unsolved. The killer must be brought to justice."      

Scene 3: Easy Investigation

  "A man might be unaware of his own worth. Just because one knows a password doesn’t mean one knows what doors can be opened with that key."   "Men’s logic is slow to arrive at a conclusion but frequently correct. Men lack intuition because? they keep their heads down in the details, seldom looking at the whole picture being formed."   I gather you have traveled? To over half the counties of the world, Ma’am. I imagine you have developed antibodies for many ailments unknown to this area. We may have use for your semen here. The Duchess, my Wife, insists I make my fluids available on demand. Good show.   Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson? Why do you say “trying”? Not “trying” in the least. I wouldn’t say “trying”. If you have been seduced, it was with no effort on my part. Are you feeling seduced? Describe to me how you are feeling." She lifts his chin upward and hides the murder weapon in a drawer quietly while he is talking. (We get to see the final clue before he does. This scene will have to come before the listening device?)    

Scene 4: Invested Investigation

  Confronting the most powerful matriarch remaining: She pulls a pistol on him. I could make you stop your investigation and your intrusion. You know I am more than wealthy enough to pay the fines. He leans in. You know I did not earn these five stars” (referring to the tattoo on his forehead) “by failing my patroness. You know My disappearance will result in very public scrutiny and a tremendous financial and political loss to yourself.” “Few men have the conviction in their principles to stare down a pistol held in a woman’s hand. I believe you. You may continue your investigation provided you allow me the right of judgement and punishment of my subjects. And apprise me of all you learn. “ “I will speak truth to you and all others. It is not in my nature to deceive.” “Not purposefully, yet men believe many falsehoods. They jump to conclusions without logic more often that not.” “Without disagreeing, not this man.”   He is fitted with a listening device by the matriarch. A ring for his right middle finger. “A bit obvious, isn’t it?” “If I put a ring on other parts of your anatomy, yes, but No one is looking at your hands dear.”  

Scene 5: Nightmare Level

  "I am aware that these muscles are made of lean meat much like a pig’s. And I have grown these muscles over the course of a lifetime. It would be a shame for them to go to waste after I die, when instead someone could eat them after I have no more use of them. If you think of it, I will have no more use of any of my organs or muscles, so it only makes sense for someone else to make use of them if possible." "You are a very giving person, Mister Copper."  

Scene 6: Confront the Suspected Murderer

  Dash confronts the murderess privately. She confesses and escapes on horseback. He gives chase on foot and runs her right into the authorities.   after accusing a woman as the murderess, or after she confesses that he solved the crime: (He has been fitted with a listening device by the matriarch. A ring for his right middle finger. “A bit obvious, isn’t it?” “If I put a ring on other parts of your anatomy, yes, but No one is looking at your hands dear.”) With his right hand, he takes the murderess’ right forearm (which she was pointing in his face). He takes a step to the left to lead her to the Matriarch and justice. With her left hand, she grabs the hair on the back of his head and pulls his head back. He is off balance and falling backward under her control. “You will not tell the Matriarch anything ever again.” She slams his skull into furniture. She performs a submission hold and sees the ring on his hand. Him face down on ground, his right arm hyperextended straight out behind his back. Her foot on his shoulder blade. “She has already heard the truth from your own mouth. “ “Blast you”. But I will be gone before her forces can react.” She bolts. (Leaps onto a previously prepared horse?) Spread prone on the ground, He raises his head slightly to shout, “You won’t get away if I have anything to say about it!”, revealing that he has developed an erection.  

Scene 7: Conclusion

    He runs after her on horseback across a rough field to the security wall. He has shoes provided by staff earlier? He admonished her that a better horse rider would easily escape him, as he follows. The Matriarch and security are there waiting. He arrives after the arrest is made , exhausted and puffing. The Matriarch pats him on the shoulder and congratulates him. Asks what the final clue was. Huffing, he explains. With his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “Remarkably clever, young man”, the Matriarch says, “now it looks like you need a wash and dry in the stable more than the horse does.” “That would be more than enough thanks, Matriarch.” All laugh and smile.
Rated PG-DN  
 
Plot type
Episode
Position titles: Conqueress Patroness Matriarch Governess Dutchess? Lady? Manservant Porter Stablehand Butler In this area, Women wear gloves, high heel boots, and carry pistols. Men are not assigned positions of power because their judgment is suspect whenever they have an erection, (hormones affecting their decisions) which might be several times a day. "A man’s promise lasts only until his next erection." "Imagine a man responsible for you finances. 'Today I'm investing all your money in Japanese school girl uniforms. They never go out of style.'"

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