Master Chef Gurdun Ramses Hell's Kitchen Nightmare Food Wagon

Master Chef Gurdun Ramses Hell's Kitchen Nightmare Food Wagon (That's a mouthful so we'll say MCGRHKNFW) is perhaps the most welcome site in the world. Known for its exotic items and for the insane volatility of its owner, the MCGRHKNFW always brings joy and laughter when it comes to town.

The first thing that most people see when the MCGRHKNFW show up is the aging donkey that pulls the cart. Most would describe the donkey as almost being like a zombie, except dumber. The donkey is always doing something to tee off Master Chef Ramses to the point that hearing Chef Ramses yell out "You Fuc%!ng Donkey!", is so common that it's basically become a trademark. In fact, one of meals sold from the cart is named after the phrase.

All the food from the cart is freshly prepared by Chef Ramses, his motto is, "So let it be ordered, so let it be cooked", and he provides nothing but the best food. One reviewer is quoted as saying, "He's (Ramses) not a wizard, but his food is like magic."

Some of the most popular items on the menu are:

Whole or diced pumpkin shoved up your ar$e
Fried you look exactly like the quail
Candied you deserve a kick in the nuts
Sorry about the old sea bags
Stir fried, you look more like a dog than I do
You do nothing for me clams
Fuc% off Risotto
I'm not here to cook you this fried egg
Idiot Sandwich (Half or Whole)

Customers are strongly reminded that if they don't like the food, don't complain and piss off.