Sessions 9 & 10: Floundering in Phlan

General Summary

The Bridge Burners re-group after their run-in with Blue Dragon Azlamorth the Exquisite, try to plan their next move, get into a series of encounters with the local authorities, and fail to pull off an audacious and poorly-planned robbery in broad daylight.
The wind rushes down the street depositing a scattering of detritus from the city, scraps of filth, rotten fruit peelings and the front sheet of the local newspaper The Phlan Gazette. A headline catches your eye and you bend to quickly snatch up the paper before the wind whisks it away...

Extra! Extra! Daring dockside ding-dong dumbfounds city

Rumours flying around the city of Phlan this week suggest another strange encounter in our fair city. According to those familiar with the events, two ner-do-wells, in the guise of city officials, approached a cart in the dockside area just after 10 bells had rung. While their identity is unconfirmed, spokesman for the Black Fists assures the public that the “lanky elf and their goblin accomplice” would soon be apprehended.
Authorities are also seeking Information on an unconvincing pair of dwarf actors whom stepped out in front of the horses in a weak attempt to cause some sort of distraction while the false inspectors in ill-fitting garbs attempted to extort innocent, heavily armed citizens as they went about their perfectly legitimate business [editors note: clarifications added at insistence of The Lord Speaker].
Victim Bellwheather “Knuckles” Johnson, one of the group of friendly young scamps out for a stroll down the docks [editors note: we are grateful again to the Lord Speaker's office for their forceful clarifications] told our reporter to “eff off and mind his own business”. The bizarre scene came to an end with the would-be-robbers fleeing empty handed down a nearby alley - the dwarves seeming to vanish into the piles of refuse that have blighted our fair city despite valiant efforts from city officials.

Double dealings of shady shenanigans!

Even more incredibly the very same cart was involved in another disturbance just minutes later! [editors note: Speculation that the two events are connected and even involved the same perpetrators has been quickly and brutally quashed by the Black Fists "Media Relations" team.]
In any case, on-the-scene witnesses describe how a ruckus erupted after the horses pulling the cart suddenly broke free of their reins and raced off down the street! Moments later a bearded figure seemed to appear from nowhere and accost the accompanying guardsmen who hadn't chased off after the lost mules. Further chaos was sown as a crowd of urchins began pelting the cart and everyone nearby with a rancid mixture of rotted fruit, vegetables and what was hopefully animal excrement. As to why the street-rats felt the need to intervene, this paper has heard reports of a mysterious trickster casting a glamour on the children like the famous "Pied Piper of Phlan" although he now rots in jail, justly convicted of many hideous and creative crimes.
Even as the shit was literally hitting the fan-ned out crew that surrounded the cart, a metallic beast pounced from the gathering crowd, seizing one of the guard in its jaws! As onlookers rushed to place bets on how quickly the dog-like machine would sever the unfortunate’s leg from his body, a second squat figure leapt through the air, seemingly propelled by firey jets from their boots and crashed through the roof of the cart!
As the cart’s escort rushed to see if the fellow had come to any harm [editor: and no doubt deliver a helping of harm themselves] thick black smoke started billowing from the cart!

Local pick-pocket Arthur Knocknees told our reporter “that jumping fellow must’ve set hiself on fire”“Well after that all the hells let loose - some idiot started shootin arrows at ya cart, people kept a-trippin over the ropes tied to ‘im, I filled up my pockets so quick I had to pinch a fellas jacket just to have somewhere to stick me boodle”

Black Fist guards quickly arrived to restore order, however of the would-be robbers there was no sign. Despite the testimonies of some in the crowd, officials from the Lord Speaker's office have confirmed the inept thieves fled empty handed, leaving this paper begging the question “what happened to the horses?”
Any further comments or feedback should be addressed to our newsroom above the stables in Dung Lane. [editors note: please stop sending in examples of your amusingly shaped vegetables]

Scrap in Scholars Square

Reports of skirmishes in other parts of our city lead this paper to ask again - is anybody safe? [editors note: The Lord Speaker's has again requested that we confirm that the city is completely safe and that any breaches of the peace will be brought to swift and terminal justice]. The Black Fists were again called to intervene in a gang brawl after reports of a rowdy group of the group known as The Welcomers loitering with criminal intent in the main square. However even as the disciplined warriors of our noble policeforce moved to apprehend these characters before they could actually commit any crime, they were set upon by a rabble of elves, gnomes and dwarves whose cowardly attack temporarily distracted the guards, allowing the thugs to flee! Somehow [editors note: this paper has received unsubstantiated reports of black magic] the ruffians who intervened also escaped with not a trace left behind...

Report Date

15 Feb 2020

Primary Location

The Docklands