Chapter III. Half Up, Half Down

General Summary

Sunday Night

With the money from Councilman Solmor, Helvella went back into town and purchased some thieves' tools before the market closed for the week.
The party returned to the Snapping Line for the evening. As promised, Scrimshaw asked Helvella to accompany him with her fiddle for the dirge he'd written for Captain Callistan.

"Make it cry."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"Colwin Callistan,
To him we bid goodbyes,
And ain't it hard for an unworthy bard
To sing of his demise.
To Callistan the Captain
I owe a thousand thanks,
Yet still does Dhor who lives no more
Add sailors to his ranks.
Yet 'fore he went, he saved your humble
Singer with his sword,
But a Sahuagin with a wicked grin
Did drag him overboard.
To all, he was a legend
To his men, he was a lord,
For him we leap, for now he sleeps
Upon the ocean floor."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

His song finished, Scrimshaw raised a bottle of Claw Wine in the air and addressed the crowd.

"Take your muzzles out your grog and raise a drink to Captain Callistan! Hero of the tidebreaking, which some of you may remember. May he rest among the Sea Saints."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

The tavern thundered with stomping and "hear hears!". Scrimshaw approached Captain Ilketh, who was sitting at a table by herself.

"Sorry, t'weren't a fitting tune. The viol was lovely, but the voice left something to be desired."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"He would have loved it."

-Captain Ilketh

Scrimshaw left the captain to her drink and returned to group at the table. He passed around the bottles of Claw Wine he'd bought earlier in the day.

"Wow Scrimmy, I'm surprised you have any left!"

- Cailín Starksong

"Listen little missy. You can joke all you like, but if'n you'd seen the things these eyes have seen, you'd be one for drinkin' too."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"Scrimshaw, this is disgusting. Back home, my paw makes thee most amazing ale from candy cap mushrooms. THIS is piss!"

-Helvella Mossfoot

Scrimshaw took offense to the insult, but claimed that since they were on land and he wasn't their quartermaster, he wouldn't discipline them for it. Lily had not had alcohol before, so she'd been sipping the horrendous concoction politely. When she heard Helvella say that there was hope in the world that other alcohol might taste okay, she felt better. Axehlkan declined the drink and instead got up to try and talk to some of the patrons about their experiences with the Hill House.

"Now...ole' Scrimshaw's mind is going with age. Have any of you heard tale of the Sea Saints? I used to know all the stories, but..."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"Yes. There was one they used to tell us to keep us in line at the orphanage. They said if you go over to the harbor in the dead of night, the reflection of the moon in the water turns into a snake, and if you let your feet touch it, it will bite you, drag you down and drown you."

-Kadias Trench

Scrimshaw scribbled Kadias' tale down, commenting that that must have been a particularly vicious saint. Though the claw wine was disgusting, it was strong. As the group spent several hours sitting around the table sharing stories and slowly drinking it, this became readily apparent. Cailín got up to get some fresh air and determined that it would be two weeks until a new moon. When she returned, she told the party that since the crabs had invited her to see them, she wanted to make sure she wouldn't be late for their appointment.

"Keepin' an appointment with crabs? What madness is that?"

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"Well, aren't you self-important!"

-Cailín Starksong

"If you think about it, crabs are the ultimate evolutionary creature. They're basically immortal."

-Helvella Mossfoot

"I used to talk to small creatures underwater."

-Kadias Trench

"Oh! Kadias! I meant to ask--sorry to interrupt--you lived under water, right? What was it like?" -Cailín Starksong

"Dark. Cold. Wet."

-Kadias Trench

Helvella piped up to ask if Cailín wanted to know about living in a swamp. Cailín did, but deferred to try and let Kadias finish what he wanted to say about talking to small creatures. Helvella reminded them that Bubba was a small creature too. The reminder of Bubba swept the conversation out of Cailín's mind completely and she begged Helvella to bring Bubba out of her hat. Helvella obliged and put him on the table. Kadias picked him up.

"You're just like me. Half up, half down."

-Kadias Trench

"What's that mean?"

-Cailin Starksong

"Amphibious. It means able to breathe both water and air."

-Kadias Trench

"Oh, I know what amphibious means, I just meant the half-up half-down part."

-Cailin Starksong

"Well maybe you don't know, 'cause that's what it means."

-Kadias Trench

"Maybe she didn't know what it meant, and she was telling an an-fib."

-Scrimshaw Cutter

Scrimshaw wheezed with laughter at his own joke. Bubba's drawn-out croaks sounded like laughter too. The toad's slowly-blinking yellow eyes made Scrimshaw cold with discomfort, so he got up to go to bed swiftly. Remembering their mission in the morning, the rest followed. Axehlkan was finishing up getting testimony from an old sailor as they passed.

"I'd gone in through the garden. It was like I was drawn by some need to go in there. The air was cold, colder than the sea in winter. There I was in the kitchen, and that's when I saw coming up from the cellar--ghosts, creatures, spirits! See-through they were, and swarming like bats, screaming like a banshee!"

-Old Man

In the dormitory, the short supply of beds meant that the group of six would have to sleep two to a bed. A silent agreement passed between Kadias, Helvella, Lily and Cailín to pair up so that Axehlkan would be stuck with Scrimshaw when he came up. Flustered at the prospect of bedding with either of the female party members, Helvella opted to bunk with Kadias, so Lily and Cailín shared a bed. Kadias spent an hour whispering to Bubba during the night. Straining to listen to them was Cailín, who was overwhelmed with jealousy.

Monday Morning

Axel woke the next morning to a face full of Claw Wine-breath. He pushed Scrimshaw off the bed. The inn had two options for breakfast: a poor man's porridge, and a modest meal of eggs and blood sausage. Cailín debated whether she should spring for a nicer breakfast than she'd ever had in her life, but ultimately decided against it since she'd "just shit it out later". Scrimshaw, Kadias, and Axehlkan similarly kept to the meager porridge, but no doubt had second thoughts about it when the two halfling women were delivered their steaming breakfasts.

"Money is meant to be spent!"

-Lily

Before they left the inn, Axehlkan shared the information he'd learned the night before with the rest of the group. The old man he'd talked to mentioned banshees, and that there was an entrance in the garden that could be used to access the house. Scrimshaw knew all sorts of stories about banshees-- he told everyone else that they were famous for their wails, the sound of which was said to be able to kill a man, as was their horrifying visage. Most often they were women who had died tragically or been murdered. Axehlkan wanted to fashion something to protect everyone from said wail, and Scrimshaw offered his sealing wax for the job. They'd melt it later, when they were closer to danger, to put into their ears. Axel then taught the party a few hand signs meaning stop, follow, danger, and okay.
Feeling prepared for the day ahead, the party set off from Saltmarsh at a normal pace. Along the hour-and-a-half walk, they joked about how their dicks were half-up, half-down. The day was grey and dreary, and cold air pelted the party from the sea as they followed the winding road from Saltmarsh along the cliffs to the north until they finally came upon the dilapidated mansion.

The Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh

In front of the Hill House was a creaky, swinging gate that led into an overgrown garden which had evidently been, at one time, quite stately. The back of the mansion overlooked the cliffs. Axel checked the gate for traps, but didn't find any. Once he determined it was safe to enter, Scrimshaw looked over the garden, noting the rotted beds of what had once been a vegetable plot as well as several medicinal herb plants that had since gone wild. One rose bush in particular had overrun a section of the garden and even climbed up the walls of the mansion.
Behind him, Axel checked to see if there were any recent tracks. He found one set of medium boot prints that looked to have come through the garden in recent days, as well as many sets of animal tracks that looked to be going to and from the rose bush. Now suspicious, Axehlkan started a ritual to detect magic to determine if he could sense anything beyond what he had could see.
Since the ritual would take ten minutes to complete, the rest of the party busied themselves with other tasks. Lily was enamored with the crimson roses and wanted one for herself. Helvella jumped at the chance to volunteer and get one for her. Lily thanked her, touching her lightly on the shoulder and blessing her with guidance. When Helvella went to get it, she heard the breathing of several creatures and saw a huge barrow under the house, covered by the thorny bush. She very quietly cut a rose off its stem with a flick of her knife, careful not to disturb any of the creatures below.

"For you, my lady."

-Helvella Mossfoot

When Helvella told them about the burrow, Cailín she was overcome with the desire to look inside to see what kind of creatures were inside. Helvella advised against it, concerned that whatever smugglers had taken up residence in the house had employed huge guard dogs. Scrimshaw told Cailín she should go in to teach the overly-cautious Axehlkan a lesson about keeping everybody waiting.
While Cailín debated the idea wtih Helvella and Lily, Kadias and Scrimshaw went to look through the windows at the front of the house. As they passed the well on the way to do so, Scrimshaw noticed a clusters of small mammal remains at its base and pointed this out to Kadias. The two of them looked down the well to see what was down there, but it was too dark at the bottom to see much. Scrimshaw summoned the ghost of his missing hand to reach blindly down at the bottom. They heard a splash of water, and then the hand returned with two silver pieces.

"Hehehe...one for me, and one for you. And that's why you always check scary wells! What d'ya say, should we try to dredge it?"

-Scrimshaw Cutter

"I say we're hurting for cash."

-Kadias Trench

Kadias lit a torch while Scrimshaw pulled a length of rope from his belt. Scrimshaw offered to hold the rope as Kadias descended. Kadias looked pointedly at Scrimshaw's scrawny arms.

"I'll hold you."

-Kadias Trench

Scrimshaw descended into the dark well, one hand on the rope and his ghostly hand holding the torch. The water at the bottom of the well was shallow, and illuminated below its surface Scrimshaw could see the glint of coin. His eyes widened with excitement and he jumped off the rope.

"Mister Trench, have you a sack or a bag? Throw it down! My trunk is back at the inn!"

-Scrimshaw Cutter

Kadias threw a pouch down to Scrimshaw, who hurriedly collected the twenty silver pieces from the bottom of the well. But when he put his hand back on the rope to tug it and let Kadias know he was ready to be pulled back up, he noticed that it felt...slimier than before. And cold. The rope began to move in his hand. He let it go. The walls around him began to move and hiss. A forked tongue slithered out at him, almost touching him. Two giant, poisonous snakes with colorful patterns watched Scrimshaw carefully from the walls of the well.
Scrimshaw, trying not to panic, slowly secured the rope in a knot around his waist, fumbling for a moment and praying to the Sea Saints for inspiration. He sent his ghostly hand to tug the line twice. Above, Kadias faced away from the well as he braced the rope against his shoulder. At the tug, he began to pull Scrimshaw up, none the wiser to the danger his friend was in. The snakes followed Scrimshaw's rise out of the well, slithering along the walls. Before he made it out, they struck.

"Mister Trench, I'm half up and half down!"

-Scrimshaw Cutter

The first snake bit into Scrimshaw's neck, injecting him with poison and knocking him unconscious. Scrimshaw was frothing at the mouth as the second snake bit into his side. Kadias felt Scrimshaw's weight go dead and dropped him, cursing in confusion. When he leaned over the edge of the well to ask Scrimshaw what the hell was going on, the two snakes lashed out at him.
At the bottom of the well, Scrimshaw spent his last moments confronted by the vision of a blonde woman with wide, horrified eyes. His heart gave out and he died in the shallow water.
Lily moved the fastest, slamming one of the snakes in the head with a crack so loud she thought she'd broken her staff. In reality, she'd crushed the snake's skull and killed it. Its mate struck out and bit her in the shoulder. Luckily, she was naturally resistant to the poison it pumped into her. From behind, Helvella shot the beast with an Eldritch Blast before Kadias closed its mouth forever with a warpick through the skull, pinning it to the ground where it thrashed violently in the throes of death before finally ceasing its movement.

"Scrimshaw!"

-Kadias Trench

Scrimshaw did not answer. Kadias hoisted him up from the bottom of the well. He and Lily laid Scrimshaw on the ground, soaking wet and pockets bulging with silver. Lily cast Spare the Dying, and Kadias tried to Lay on Hands. Neither worked. Cailín clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Aaaach! What happened?!"

-Cailín Starksong

Kadias tried to explain, though he himself hadn't realized what had happened until it was all over. Axel, who had been distracted trying to complete his ritual during the attack, finally came to see what the commotion was. Anger settled over him at the sorry sight of Scrimshaw's corpse.

"You fuckin' old man."

-Axehlkan Howitzer

Axel began to go through Scrimshaw's pockets, gathering the old man's belongings. As the shock coursed through the group, the next question to hit them was what to do next.

"Not to be insensitive, but we didn't sign up for this. We were a six man team, and now we're down one. I don't feel right about leavin' him out here like this where wild animals and such can get 'im."

-Helvella Mossfoot

Axehlkan looked pointedly at Kadias.

"All this because of a STUPID mistake. If you all would have waited ten minutes, maybe he wouldn't be dead! I could have told you not to go down there! Or helped pull him up!"

-Axehlkan Howitzer

Kadias said nothing. Eventually, the group agreed to take Scrimshaw back to town. No one felt right about leaving his body outside while they explored. Kadias went to pick Scrimshaw up for the journey back.

"Don't touch him. I'll carry him."

-Axehlkan Howitzer

Axel's rage was palpable on the walk back, which seemed longer without Scrimshaw there to fill the silence. Kadias remained quiet, occasionally giving his input as the women discussed whether they should send Scrimshaw's body out to sea or bury him in town. Eventually, they figured that the man had probably spent enough time in the ocean and would want to be entombed in the earth.

"This is so stupid. I can't believe this happened. What the hell was he thinking?!"

-Axehlkan Howitzer

Saltmarsh's graveyard was located on the northern edge of town, so the group stopped in immediately as they entered the city limits. They asked the man working at the time to bury and make a headstone for Scrimshaw, using the money he'd died for to fund it. They planned to hold their own memorial for him that night at the inn instead of having a full funeral in the graveyard. Before the gravedigger laid the first soil on him, Axel took Scrimshaw's hook as a keepsake. His headstone read: Scrimshaw Cutter. He died the way he lived: with wet boots.
Before dinner, Kadias penned a letter to the Ring & Wren informing them of Scrimshaw's death and dropped it off at the post office. That evening at the Snapping Line, the group sat together and sullenly shared the last of Scrimshaw's Claw Wine. After a while, Kadias got up to talk to Hanna.

"We lost another sailor today. I'd like to sing a dirge."

-Kadias Trench

"Another one? I did think it was strange you brought him with you. He didn't seem the adventuring type."

-Hanna Rist

"He had an adventurer's spirit."

-Kadias Trench

"...He was a good singer. Seemed a good enough man."

-Hanna Rist

"I won't be able to do him justice, but it's the best I can do for him."

-Kadias Trench

Kadias sat back down and began to beat his fist on the table. The rest of the party joined in his somber rhythm as he began to sing.

"There once was a sailor with a troubled past,
He started a journey but it wouldn’t last,
I can’t believe he’s gone so fast!
He had so far to go...
He’d been alive for many years,
He drunk his drank, he made his cheers,
He had bad luck, he had no fear!
He knew the way to go...
Now Scrimshaw, he coulda been a Saint,
But if I’m honest--no he ain’t!
But to me he was still a good mate!
I'm sad to see him go...
Scrimshaw saw some coins to take,
And well, that was his last mistake,
He loved his poison, but not the snake!
What a terrible way to go...
Go Scrimshaw, go on home,
We’ll carry on your story, so
Let everyone who hears this know
That’s how the story goes...
Now old Scrimshaw, he heard the bell,
I hope I’ll see him play in hell,
Please don’t forget don’t wish him well!
I can’t believe he’s gone..."

-Kadias Trench

Kadias drained a cup of claw wine, then poured another one out for poor old Scrimshaw. The party spent another night getting drunk, though without their bard it wasn't quite the same.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. It wasn't your fault."

-Axehlkan Howitzer

"Yes it was."

-Kadias Trench

The next morning, the party would figure out what to do about investigating the Hill House. For the night, they mourned.

Related Reports

Next Report:

Previous Report:

Chapter II. The Leap

Campaign

Ghosts of the Saltmarsh

Protagonists

Cailín Starksong

Lily Proudfoot

Scrimshaw Cutter

Kadias Trench

Helvella Mossfoot

Axehlkan Howitzer

Report Date

27 Jan 2023

Primary Location

Hill House

Related Plots

• The Hill House