A Package for Morgans

There’s a roar of laughter that echoes through the streets of the entertainment district and the cheering of slurred voices emanate from Tryssee's Place. The building lit up with flashes of lights rotating between the intensity of colors as the shadows of drunken patrons passed by. The creaky door hung ajar from a swarm of miners earlier in the night, peeking inside showed a large group of people standing around a certain booth near the front of the Bar. Sitting inside is no other than Biggs Morgans chatting up a storm as the collective drunks laugh their ass off.   From the entrance, a twig of a man emerges from the outside world. A loud creak rings through the building, the bar suddenly gets a few decibels quieter. A few of the more curious drinkers look to see the newcomer, included of which was Morgans. The young man at the entrance takes a hesitant step backward, he clutches his satchel, empty of all but one parcel. Sweat drips down the side of his pale face, he takes a deep breath and pulls his newsboy hat down as he tries to make himself as small as possible. Pointing his eyes to the floor, he quickly shuffles over towards the booth he remembered Morgans was sitting at. As he enters the ring of people they go quiet, and the man squeaks out a few words. “Package for you Mr. Morgans” A large grin spreads across Morgan's face. “If it isn’t the man of the hour! Come have a drink!” Biggs' hand grabs the arm holding the small package and pulls the man into the booth next to him, he puts up a little resistance but the strength of a letter carrier is no match for the massive man that is Biggs Morgans.   “Sir, I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with all these people around” The young man whispered as he looked around wildly. He begins to breathe heavily “Crowds are not my strong suit”   Biggs puts a large hand around his shoulder, clears his throat, and raises his voice at the crowd gathered around him. “Alright ya drunks, sod off and give the man some space!” before looking out to the bar and ordering a few more drinks.   The young man, having calmed down, mumbled a quick “Thank you” and for the second time got a good look at The Biggs Morgans. Morgans was twice as tall as himself, built like a brick wall, and the dark charcoal cloak he wore felt like it could swallow him up in all that fabric. It was about then he realized that he’d been staring at Morgans for the past few minutes, as the drinks arrived and Morgans handed him a beer.   Biggs noticed the apprehension on the man's face. “It’s on the house for the kid who helped me write my newest article! I didn’t realize how much letter carriers got around the town.” He laughs and downs an entire mug of booze. “Though I didn’t realize someone so small could get drunk after only three drinks, but I do appreciate your tip from that day!”   A look of panic strikes the letter carrier, what had he said to this renowned journalist as he was intoxicated, what secrets had he spilled, who did he suddenly make an enemy out of for spreading gossip. He slumped over in the booth. “My career is over”   Biggs spit out his drink, covering a woman sitting on the opposite side of him in alcohol. She gave him an angry look, but he gestured with his eyes at the letter carrier before looking away from her and speaking to the letter carrier slumped up against him. “Come now, I’m not gonna leak my informant. If I did no one would ever bring me any new stories!” He tilts the young man's chin up. “It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it! Here, have a drink”   Moving the drink to his lips, he feels the rush of cold liquid flow down his throat. He feels his nerves melt away and with a bit more confidence looks back up to Biggs. “Mr. Morgans, I believe this is yours!” Once again he tries to hand Biggs a small parcel, no larger than a brick and wrapped in thin brown paper.   “Under normal circumstances, I would accept this. But I feel like this might find better use in someone else's hands.” He rips off the brown paper to reveal a black leather-bound notebook, the pages inside untouched, and the cover rough to the touch. Attached to the side is a jet black quill with a hint of blue, constructed from the fallen feather of a peculiarly large raven. The items smelled strongly of ink, something that could be said of Biggs as well. “Take these, let them serve you well. Information is more powerful than any weapon and who knows perhaps it might lead you on the path to becoming a journalist yourself someday.”   He looked in awe, these items were brand new and wouldn’t have been cheap. These were high-quality writing tools made for a professional. “I can’t accept these, won’t you need them to write your next story!?” his gaze shifted upwards as Biggs stood up and his cloak began to unfurl.   Within Morgans' cloak existed a second layer filled with feathers of all shapes and sizes, it created a rainbow of quills from all sorts of monstrous birds. For only a brief moment it looked as if Morgan himself had a set of technicolored wings, before fading back into an abyss of the dark charcoal cloak. “It’s a small price to pay if I can arm someone with the means to write. But, I feel like I’ll be alright.” Morgans gave him a wink and disappearing into the dark of the night, leaving naught but a few coins and an opened package.

Comments

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Mar 15, 2021 06:19

So first off, I love your character's name and can't help, but say it out loud several times very loudly each time I read it. Second off, amazing vignette. I could really get a feel for who Biggs is as a person and I can tell you know what kind of character you want him to be. I could even feel the emotions of the letter carrier throughout the story. I think this story does a good job of portraying your character and the emotions of those around him. To take it to the next level, I think there could be more emotion added to Biggs to help the reader know how he's feeling. There were parts I was unsure, he seemed to be pretty joyous throughout though. I would also recommend going back over and checking the tenses. Some parts seemed to change the tense of verbs being used. Could just be me misreading, but a few places seemed a bit off.

Mar 17, 2021 18:55

Good descriptive language. Lines like “a twig of a man” are really good. All of your descriptions for the mailman were very on-point. It was kind of confusing figuring out under what circumstances the mailman had met Morgans before. It kinda sounded like the mailman got there, then spent hours at the bar talking to Morgans, and then had the conversation in the text.

Apr 1, 2021 01:06

I love this vignette. There is a lot that happens in such a condensed package. However, I found the PoV slightly confusing. What I at first thought was a third-person perspective, was actually a combination of a second and third person. I think possibly sticking to just one would solidify your voice even further since there are some places where the wrong tense/ PoV really took me out of it. I loved the grandiose personality of Biggs, and I look forward to seeing his journey. I love the encouragement he gave the letter carrier. Biggs is ingrained in the world, but the world does not revolve around him. Great work, with a little trimming and possibly a swap to a different PoV, and this piece could really shine.

Apr 1, 2021 15:47

My only real issue with this vignette are the occasional grammatical errors of either missing punctuation or not starting a new line when someone speaks. Otherwise, I think this vignette does a good job of giving me an idea of the type of person that Biggs is. I like the descriptive language that you used, to give readers an idea of what the tavern the two spoke to looked like. How exactly the two know each other isn't explained, but since this is just a snapshot in Bigg's ongoing story in Mythrite, I suppose it only makes sense for a few things to go unexplained, since there wouldn't be a point to explain it again when they both already know.