Facing Dimitri

Life, Failure / Mishap

Natalya finally makes it to Lenisily and finds Dimitri. He is upset with her for what she did and blames her for Pufuktin's reign. She eventually tells him about Glitterfjell and her thiramin connection. When he finds out it was Fenneck he angrily tells Natalya to leave. She tries to convince him to help her stop Pufuktin but Dimitri tells her it's too dangerous and that he won't risk it. He also tells her to stay out of Lenisily's politics before she makes things even worse. Natalya retreats back into the mountains feeling defeated and guilty for all the pain she had caused not just Dimitri, or even Fenneck, but all of Lenisily.

Natalya moved quickly. She had renewed strength after her months in Glitterfjell and found the mountains to be much easier than before. Perhaps it was because she was so close and had made this journey before. Perhaps it was the warmth radiating off of the ring Fenneck had given her. Natalya tried to shove her thoughts of Fenneck away. She felt awful for leaving him. She noticed that she didn't really miss him though. She never really seemed to. It always felt like his spirit was with her and she was grateful for it. The mountains finally cascaded into the valley and Natalya made her way through the dead forest in the south, trying her best not to be seen in the dim evening light. She finally made it to the southern outpost. She hoped Dimitri was there. That luck was on her side. She snuck up to the little hut and poked her head into the window. She felt a wave of relief wash over her as she saw Dimitri's frame. He was sleeping. He seemed to be alone. Natalya removed a glove and tapped out a specific pattern on the window, as quietly as a bird. Then she quickly moved back into the forest. She waited under the sickly trees for what felt like eternity. She felt a wave of sadness wash over her at the sight of the dead plants around her. Flottenheim had spoiled her. She heard soft footsteps and drew her bow. She stepped out and saw Dimitri. He looked angry to see her. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked her. Natalya felt taken aback by his harshness and she lowered her bow. "I came to find you. To make sure you were okay. I was worried that they would hurt you." She started walking toward him. He glared at her. "It's a little late for that, don't you think," he said aggressively. "You're the one who told me to leave!" she said getting defensive. "Yeah, I sure did didn't I? I shouldn't have. I mean seriously Natalya what the hell were you thinking?" he asked her, throwing his hands up in exasperation. She felt confuse by Dimitri's actions and pained to see him so angry with her. "I hated him for what he had down to our country. I hated the pain that they had caused us. I had an opportunity, and I took it," she defended herself. He scoffed at her. "Really? Stop. Stop lying to me. Look around. I know you haven't been here but in case you didn't know Pufuktin is the emperor now and things are so much worse. All thanks to your little stunt." "That's why I came back. I'm going to face him," she declared. Dimitri laughed at her. "You're daft. Were you not sent there by Pufuktin? Did he not order you to do it?" he accused her. "Of course not!" she said, bewildered that he would suggest such a thing. "Come on, Natalya. Everyone in the KAV knows that's what happened. Otherwise there's no way in hell you could have pulled off the greatest assasination in the world." Natalya glared at him. "Well I had a good teacher." He scoffed at her. "You have pretty boobs," he said condescendingly. "Don't kid yourself. That's the only reason you were able to do it." "Sure, but at least I'm not afraid to use every weapon at my disposal," she spat back at him, hurt that he would treat her this way. "You're motive doesn't interest me, Nat. It still made things worse. You should leave before I decide I want to win some point with my new boss," he threatened her. "I came to see you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said pleadingly. "Well I'm not," he said, keeping his cold demeanor. "They of course took me in for questioning when it happened and I had nothing to tell them. Pufuktin beat the shit out of me for weeks, Natalya. I thought I taught you better than this. That your actions have consequences." She felt her heart break in pain. "I didn't think they would-" "Oh but you did," he interrupted her. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here right now. You knew what you were doing. You were willing to sacrifice me so you could play hero. I mean, what did you honestly expect to happen?" he asked her. "Some good, charming king would casually step up and fix everything? You opened a vacuum for corruption and the highest form of evil stepped right in." "I know this Dimitri! I have felt like shit about it since I left. I came back to right this wrong. I'm going after Pufuktin. Come with me," she begged him. "Oh hell no. I'm not going to be a victim of your pathetic hero complex," he spat in her face. "Well at least I'm willing to do something!" she shot back. "Think about all the innocent lives we took over the years. We are just as much victims to the tyranny of Lenisily. I couldn't just sit there anymore being complacent!" "Natalya. Stop. It's a fools errand. You will die. You are not going to be able to walk away from Pufuktin," he shook his head at her. "I don't plan on it," she said back, resolute. "Since when did you become so hard headed? You aren't invincible," he told her. "Gods!" she exclaimed. "You don't think I know that?! I wasn't just sitting up in the mountains jerking off for a year you know. I ended up in the Abyss at one point! I helped slaughter a demon and saw the face of hell itself. Do not talk to me about my mortality!" she got in his face. "You don't realize what I gave up to come back here!" She felt tears building in her eyes. He looked down and Natalya hoped he would show her just an inch of compassion. He sighed, relaxing a little. "Where have you been exactly?" he finally asked her. Natalya was only relieved to hear his voice soften for about two seconds before she realized he wouldn't exactly be thrilled about her escapades in Glitterfjell. "I ended up in Thymryu and ended up helping some adventurers with a demon who was posing as a Lord in one of their fiefdoms. That's how I ended up in the Abyss. After that," she hesitated, deciding not to tell him about Fenneck. "I decided to come back through the mountains and face the mess I had left behind here." He gave her a look, clearly seeing her hesitation, knowing she was lying to him. "You've been gone for over a year, what aren't you telling me?" he asked her. Natalya swallowed. "I was in Glitterfjell for a few months, in Flottenheim." He cocked his head at her in confusion. "Dimitri you should have seen it!" she said excitedly, trying to offer him hope. "Everyone is so nice and their people are thriving. They use magic to keep crops going all year and they have managed to create an amazing utopia. Everyone has food and shelter. They help one another. No one is oppressed and people can love who they wish freely." She reached out and caressed his chest, longing for such freedom in their own lives. "They don't discriminate based on sex or race. It's... it's perfect..." she trailed off and felt tears fall to the ground as thoughts of Flottenheim come back to her. "Sounds like you should have stayed there," Dimitri said moving away from her touch. "Are those not also things you want? For Lenisily?" she asked him. "You want me to help you start a revolution?! You and what army?" he asked her, shaking his head at her foolishness. "Are your new friends in Glitterfjell gonna come and help us? I doubt they'd be willing to risk leaving their cozy little mountain top." "It's not their fight Dimitri!" "Yeah and it sure as hell ain't mine," he said rolling his eyes at her. "Look I did not leave Glitterfjell to come all this way to have you tell me off!" she huffed at him angrily. "Natalya! You broke my heart!" he looked at her in disbelief. "You left! You left me! You let them hurt me! I don't buy for a goddamn minute that you want to make amends. You don't look at me like you used to. There isn't an ounce of love in your eyes. You look real guilty though," he said becoming cold. "You aren't here because you love me. You're here so that you can walk away guilt free. I don't know what happened to you this last year but you are not the Natalya I remember. I have no loyalty to you." Natalya wanted her heart to break. To tell her this wasn't true and that she came because she loved him, but her heart betrayed her as she felt the flutter in her heart of Fenneck's spirit. She looked down and felt her guilt and pain flush over her. She wanted Dimitri's trust back and she knew there was only one way to earn it. "I... I met someone," she said quietly. Dimitri huffed and put a hand to his forehead as she continued. "Have you ever heard of...thiramin?" she asked him. "Yeah some Elvish folktale about soulmates or something... It's not real though." He said the last part as if he was praying he was right. "It's real," she confirmed. "I guess. It happened to me. I met mine. In Glitterfjell." Dimitri looked frustrated and confused. "Who is he?" Natalya felt her nerves shake her body. "He's just some ranger," she tried to write it off. "What's his name, Natalya?" He asked accusingly. She swallowed. "His name is... Fenneck. Fenneck Frostears." She watched the realization come over Dimitri. He started laughing. "Get the hell out of here," he told her, shaking his head in disbelief. "Dimitri! Please-" She tried to go to him but he slapped her arms away. "Leave! Go back to your cozy city and your... soulmate!" he said with disgust. "You have no business here." "Dimitri I left him to find you! To help our people!" she pleaded to him. Dimitri leaned down into Natalya's face and she saw his eyes were filled with hurt and pain. "You left him because you're a pathetic little bitch who just want's to be able to sleep at night despite the fact that you are directly responsible for this mess!" He pointed toward Leniscow. "You left because you felt guilty for leaving me and breaking my heart in the process. You should leave before you make things worse. Even if you killed Pufuktin another leech would just take his place. Lenisily doesn't want you or you so called "help"! He's not just some demon you can clear the world of. The root of Lenisily's problems do not sit on a throne. They're rooted in the snow and ice we walk on. I'm sure your new boyfriend can explain that one to you." He started to walk away before turning back. "Oh and when you see him, tell him I said he's a good shot. I'm sure he's thrilled his soulmate is the one who killed his boyfriend all those years ago. How'd that conversation go? Or is that just another example of the pain and suffering you're willing to not hold yourself accountable for?" She tried to hide her tears and frustration from him. His words tore through her heart and she felt her stomach growing weak from the stabs of guilt she felt. Dimitri shook his head at her. "I knew I should have killed that goddamn elf that day. Gods know I would have been better off if I hadn't kissed you that night. Guess that's on me though for fucking up my job. Get the hell out of here before I decide to hand you over to Pufuktin myself," he told her coldly. Natalya backed away as she realized Dimitri was serious. "I... I'm sorry," she said. She felt a tear roll down her cheek as she backed away toward the mountains. "Run. Run like the coward you are," he said threateningly. Natalya finally turned her back on Dimitri and ran toward the mountains. She kept running and running until she scaled the first mountain and looked out over her home. It didn't feel like home. It felt like the Abyss: cold, dark and heartless. She felt tears roll down her eyes as she retreated back into the mountains. She traveled aimlessly before collapsing in a clearing and started sobbing. She cried all night. Even with Fenneck's ring she felt the cold of the snow and mountains burn her skin. She welcomed the pain. She curled up in the snow as her dark thoughts consumed her.