I Do Not

Life, Relationship change

Erikur proposes to Fenneck after the Winter's Eve Festival.

Fenneck opened his eyes and smiled at Erikur who was curled up in his arms under their pile of furs and comforters. The fire was still warm and cast a beautiful golden glow over them both. Erikur opened his eyes when he felt Fenneck move and he looked up and smiled at him.   "Good morning," he said sweetly. Fenneck smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning," he told him. Erikur sat up excitedly and pulled Fenneck into his arms. "Today's a big day!" he exclaimed. "Can you believe it's been ten years?!" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck smiled and sighed happily. "Still feels like yesterday," he said with a chuckle.   Erikur smiled wistfully and sat back as he thought about that day. "We were pretty awesome, if I do say so," he mused. "I mean, charging through the Vallee on the magical giant fey elks! You looked so powerful and majestic," he told Fenneck lustfully. Fenneck smirked at him. "So did you," he pointed out. "I remember being insanely impressed when you called lightning down from the sky and struck a whole group of guards!" he told Erikur as he pulled him back into his arms.   Erikur giggled happily and pulled Fenneck into a fierce, passionate kiss. Fenneck kissed him back and smiled as Erikur pulled him back down into the comforters. "Hey," Fenneck said, pulling away for a moment to speak. "Don't you have to go to the rehearsals and stuff?" Erikur kissed him some more, reluctant to pull his lips away from Fenneck's.   "Eh," he said. "I can spend a little time here," he pointed out before sticking his tongue into Fenneck's mouth. "Yeah," Fenneck said, giggling from Erikur's advances. "But you also take five hours to get ready!" he teased him.   Erikur scoffed and started tickling Fenneck's bare chest, causing them both to start laughing and play-fighting. "I'll have you know that last year, it only took me two!" he teased proudly. Fenneck grabbed his adorable face and pulled it to his own and kissed Erikur lovingly again.   After a moment, Erikur pulled away and gave Fenneck a bashful smile. "I... I love you," he said nervously. Fenneck smiled at him and felt his heart start to pound nervously at these words. "I... I love you too," he said, giving Erikur a nervous smile. Erikur's face seemed to flood with excitement and nervousness. "Re... really?!" he asked Fenneck.   Fenneck nodded nervously. "I do," he told Erikur honestly. Erikur smiled and threw his arms around Fenneck excitedly and kissed his cheek before flashing a nervous smile. "After the festival tonight," he said. "- wait back in the Arena for me to get done, okay?" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck shrugged and giggled. "Okay," he agreed.   "Are you nervous about the performance?" he asked Erikur who scoffed and shook his head. "Are you kidding? Jasna and I have perfected this set for the last twelve months! It's going to be the best one yet! Ten years, Fen! Ten years as a free, wonderful country!" he said joyously. "It will be a celebration that will be remembered for centuries!" he announced excitedly.   He suddenly sat up. "I need to get ready!" he said, becoming nervous. Fenneck laughed at him. "You're ridiculous," he teased him. "Go take a bath," Fenneck told him. "I need to go check in with Baegla to make sure everything is good to go on our end before I get all dolled up," he decided.   Erikur frowned. "You don't really think anything is gonna happen do you?" he asked Fenneck nervously. Fenneck shrugged. "Baegla just wants us to be safe. It's an anniversary for Lenisily too, Erik, and not a pleasant one," he pointed out. Erikur nodded solemnly and Fenneck wrapped his arms around him.   "It's going to be okay, Erik," he promised him. "Today is going to be a wonderful day. Don't worry," he told him sweetly. Erikur looked up into his eyes and gave him a small smile. "Do you really love me, Fen?" he asked again with fear in his dark green eyes. Fenneck smiled sweetly at him. "I do, Erik," he said. "I... I know it's been difficult for you these last few years. I... just wanted to make sure I really was ready to move on," he explained.   Erikur nodded and took Fenneck's hands into his own and squeezed them. "We should get going," he decided. Fenneck nodded in agreement and kissed Erikur one more time before getting out of bed and throwing on a clean pair of clothes. He kissed Erikur on the cheek as he slid into his bath and headed down to the throne room.   "Good morning!" Baegla greeted him as he entered. "How's Erikur doing? Is he nervous?" she asked him as he approached her throne. The only other person present was Vyndius. "He's fine," Fenneck assured her. "He's very excited and claims it will be the best one yet!" Vyndius smiled. "I know I'm excited!" he exclaimed. "Catherine is doing a sweep of the Vallee and the nearby mountains," he explained. "Hopefully there will be nothing to report." Fenneck turned to Baegla who nodded. "I have the guards being extra cautious today, Fen," she assured him. "We've also sent a few birds into the forest to look out for any strange activity. I'm not really sure what else we can do." He nodded. "Do we have people posted during the ceremony? I'll volunteer if I need to," he asked her. She shook her head. "Erik would never forgive you for missing his big performance, Fen," she told him. "I have plenty of guards on watch. Flottenheim will be fine. The soldiers have all been briefed on what to do if we are attacked. On the bright side, literally everyone in the city will be safely inside the safest part of the mountain if something were to happen."   Fenneck nodded. "So we're good, then? I don't need to go patrol the forest?" She smiled at him. "Catherine has already taken care of it. Go get dressed and spend the morning with Erik, dear," she assured him. "Very well," he said before turning and making his way back up to he and Erikur's tower.   Erikur was still soaking in the bath, singing through some of his sets. "Hey!" he greeted Fenneck when he returned. "Everything good?" he asked. Fenneck shrugged in annoyance. "I guess so," he said. "Your sister is sweeping the mountains so I'm off the hook," he said in bored annoyance. Erikur chuckled. "She can turn into a bird," he pointed out. "I just feel like I'm not doing enough," Fenneck said sadly.   Erikur smiled and dunked himself under the water one more time before climbing out of the bath and wrapping his lavender towel around his beautiful, dainty body. Fenneck found himself admiring him and Erikur cast him a playfully seductive look and posed for him. "What should I do with my hair?" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck chuckled. "Your fans seem to like it when it flows freely through the magical wind," he teased him. Erikur mockingly fanned himself. "My adoring fans, or you?" he teased Fenneck.   Fenneck rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed an apple and a cutting board as he started preparing a quick breakfast. "Seriously," he said, giving Erikur a sad look. "I feel like a wife. My only purpose is to make you happy," he said in annoyance. Erikur skipped over to him and hugged him from behind, causing Fenneck to squirm. "Get off! You're wet!"   "I just wanted to say that you make a wonderful wife!" he teased Fenneck. "However, you could up your game when it comes to making dinner and you could let me take advantage of you every now and then in the bedroom." Fenneck elbowed him playfully, but Erikur stayed wrapped around him, giggling. "You're an ass!" Fenneck teased him. Erikur kissed him on the cheek.   "Okay, fine, you're right," Erikur said, finally letting him go. "Women should be able to have professions as well," he playfully conceded. Fenneck rolled his eyes. "I thought that was established ten years ago when a lesbian halfling kicking the emperor's butt and started ruling her own nation?" Fenneck argued as he finished slicing his apple.   Erikur leaned over and stole a piece and sat down on top of the table. "You're right," he said, pulling Fenneck in between his legs and dropping his towel so that only his groin was covered. Fenneck felt himself growing hard as he noticed Erikur's bulge under the towel.   Erikur seemed to sense this and he gave Fenneck a serious look and he interlaced their fingers. Fenneck leaned in and kissed Erikur and they started kissing each other very passionately and Fenneck couldn't help himself as he pulled Erikur's towel off of him and let his mouth enjoy the taste of Erikur after so many years of forcing himself to not. Erikur gasped in excitement and joy. "Fenneck!" he exclaimed in pleasure.   "Oh gods! Fuuuck!" he shouted right before they heard a knock on the door. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed angrily as Fenneck quickly collected himself. Erikur grabbed his towel and hopped off the table. "Who is it?" he called out in annoyance. "Uhhh... Vyndius!" the halfling called out awkwardly from the other side of the door.   Erikur ran over to the wardrobe and grabbed a robe as Fenneck walked over to the door and poked his head out. "Is everything okay?" he asked Vyndius. Vyndius looked a little freaked out and he was clutching his hat in his hand. "Come out here," he whispered. Fenneck did and closed the door, giving Vyndius a concerned look. "What's wrong?!" he whispered to the halfling.   "Catherine saw someone in your cave!" he explained. Fenneck squinted in confusion. "Who?!" he asked him. Vyndius shrugged. "She was in bird form and she was too scared to face them on her own," he explained. "Let me get my things," he said. "Don't tell Erikur!" Vyndius told him. "Baegla doesn't want him freaked out if Catherine leaves," he explained. Fenneck nodded understandingly and ducked back inside the room.   "What the hell was that about?!" Erikur exclaimed angrily. Fenneck went and took him into his arms. "Nothing," he assured him. "Vyndius needs help... with a surprise for Catherine," Fenneck lied. "And he doesn't want you to know about it," he explained. Erikur's eyes lit up and he gave Fenneck a wink, clearly not knowing what Fenneck was actually talking about. "Oooh, okay," he said. "Nice, alright, well, mums the word, right?" he said playfully.   Fenneck nodded and rolled his eyes at Erikur as he walked over to the wardrobe. "You should get ready and head down to get started," he told Erikur as he strapped his armor on. "Yeah yeah," he said as he walked over to his vanity. "Hey, make sure you wear something nicer than armor tonight," he teased Fenneck. "I thought it was pretty sexy!" Fenneck said as he quickly got dressed and strapped his weapons on. Erikur smiled at him. "You're sexy in anything," he told Fenneck.   Fenneck smiled at him and ran over to kiss him lovingly. "I'll see you tonight," he said, giving Erikur a bashful smile. "Maybe we can... finish what we started before we were so rudely interrupted," he suggested. Erikur nodded excitedly to him. "Okay," he said hopefully as his chest and ears started to flush. "I'll see you tonight," he said excitedly. Fenneck kissed him one more time before heading out and following Vyndius down into the palace.   "Sorry I uh... interrupted you guys," Vyndius told him, his face a bit red. Fenneck chuckled. "It's fine," he assured him. "Just so you know, I told Erikur you were planning a surprise for Catherine so he probably thinks you're going to propose or something tonight," he warned the halfling. A brief look of shock flew across Vyndius' face before he chuckled nervously. "You really think she'd agree to marry a halfling?" he asked Fenneck doubtfully. Fenneck patted him on the shoulder. "She would go to hell and back for you, Vyn," he assured him. Vyndius elbowed him in the thigh. "I know! She has! Literally!" he exclaimed in bewilderment. "She's the best woman in all the planes!" he exclaimed lovingly. Fenneck smiled and continued down to the first floor.   They saw Catherine, Gwynsickle and Baegla waiting for them at the entrance to the palace. "Ready?" Catherine asked them. Fenneck nodded and Catherine turned into a giant eagle, letting him, Vyndius and Gwynsickle climb onto her back. They took off through the open door and Catherine soared through the snow.   They finally made it to the cave and Catherine landed directly in front of it. Fenneck drew his bow and notched an arrow as Vyndius prepared a ball of icy magic in his hands. Through the tattered pelts Fenneck could see a fire glowing and the shadow of someone walking about inside. "Show yourself!" he called out into the cave.   From behind the pelts walked a high-elf with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was wearing black leather armor of the KAV and had a black, fox-fur cloak around his shoulders. He looked scared and he immediately dropped to his knees when he saw them. Fenneck cast a glance at Vyndius before addressing the elf.   "Who are you?" he asked him. "My... my name is Dmitri," he told them. "Please, please don't kill me," he begged them. "Drop your weapons," Fenneck ordered. "Why are you here?" The elf nodded obediently and removed a couple daggers from his belt. "The rest are inside," he said, motioning to the cave as he tossed the daggers a few feet away from himself. "I... I am escaping Lenisily. The KAV were ordered to kill me for... for an affair. I... I didn't have another option," he explained.   Fenneck squinted at him. "An affair?" he asked. The high-elf nodded. "I'm married to a high-elf, my wife, but... I fell in love with a human woman. They found out." Fenneck shook his head in frustration at the stupid laws in Lenisily. "I didn't realize interracial affairs were penalized with death," he said to the high-elf, still aiming his bow.   The high-elf nodded sadly. "When you're in the KAV they are," he said. "I was a marshal," he explained. "The higher up you are the more it tarnishes your reputation. Staladin doesn't risk letting any of his well-known officials risk such damning relations. To bear half-elf children is... a very deadly endeavor indeed," he said gravely.   "And what of the human? Why didn't you bring her with you?" The high-elf looked down solemnly. "The soldier who was sent to kill me walked me to the mountains with a knife on my back and told me to run. He... couldn't bear to kill me for what I'd done. He was a loyal friend and... and I couldn't risk going back." Fenneck nodded understandingly. "What's your full name and title?" he asked him. "Marshal Dmitri Novikoff," he said.   "Stay alert," Fenneck told Vyndius as he lowered his bow and pulled out his voice stone. He closed his eyes, fighting the feeling of stupidity that always overcame him before he spoke into the stone. "Fox Ears to Black Leather," he said begrudgingly into the stone. "Black Leather here, over," Feliks said from the other line. "Does the name Marshal Dmitri Novikoff mean anything to you?" Fenneck asked him.   As the high-elf heard Feliks' voice his ears perked up in surprise. "Polyakov?" he asked excitedly. Fenneck waited a few moments until Feliks finally spoke on the other line in halfling. "He is good friends with the Marshal Pufuktin. Close. He... he was the other soldier sent with him to kill your parents. He's dangerous," Feliks said, with a hint of warning in his voice. "Is... is he who was in the cave?" Feliks asked in concern.   "Yes," Fenneck told him. "He surrendered immediately and says he's on the run because he had an affair with a human woman. The KAV was ordered to kill him and one of his friends let him escape into the mountains instead," Fenneck explained quickly.   There was a long pause before Baegla's voice jumped onto the channel sounding grimmer than usual. "Bring him in for questioning. He's under arrest for the murder of Faina and Leonid Frostears and the attempted murder of Fenneck Frostears. He will be tried for his crimes against Glitterfjell," she declared. Fenneck saw Dmitri's face grow concerned with the mention of his parents' names but other than that he didn't seem to understand a lick of halfling.   Fenneck put the voicestone away and turned to Dmitri. "You are hereby under arrest and will be taken in for questioning," he told the high-elf who nodded understandingly and held out his hands. Fenneck pulled out some rope and cautiously approached the elf as Vyndius stayed ready to attack, his eyes as cold as the magic in his hand, having overheard the voicestone. Luckily Dmitri let Fenneck bind his hands without any resistance. Catherine turned back into an elf, startling Dmitri before leading the way into the cave as Fenneck held the elf at swordpoint.   "I thought we were going to Flottenheim?" Dmitri asked. "We are," Fenneck assured him. When they were inside the cave Catherine walked over to the small garden in the back and waved her hands at the apple tree, creating a portal in the trunk. Dmitri looked startled by this and looked at Fenneck cautiously as Fenneck nudged him toward the portal.   Dmitri swallowed nervously before stepping into the portal and Fenneck followed behind him. They entered straight into the heart of the prison where Baegla and Feliks were waiting expectantly with a posse of guards. "Lieutenant Polyakov," Dmitri said with relief and a small smile. Feliks frowned at him. "Call me Feliks, Novikoff," Feliks told him coldly. "I'm not in the KAV anymore."   "Right this way," Baegla said, motioning into one of the cells. Fenneck pushed Dmitri into the room and kept his sword on his back as the guards patted him down. "It was wise of you to come willingly," Baegla told him. "Thank you for not killing me on sight," he told them. The guards gave them a nod of approval and Baegla turned to Fenneck. "Thank you, dear," she told him. "Please go and get ready for the festivities. Feliks and I can handle this from here."   Fenneck nodded and sheathed his sword before walking out of the cell. Catherine and Vyndius were waiting outside and they all watched the door close to the cell. "I think we're relieved of our duties," he told them. Catherine nodded. "You okay?" she asked him. Fenneck nodded cautiously. Catherine pulled him into a hug. "Like Baegla said, she'll take care of him from here," he said, pulling away from her. "I need to go check on Erik and make sure he got to his rehearsals and I still have to get ready and bathe before tonight," he explained. Catherine nodded and released Fenneck from her grasp. "We'll see you tonight, then," she told him.   Fenneck headed up the mountain until he arrived in his tower. Erikur had already left and Fenneck saw the pot of flowers on the center of the table had changed colors and looked brighter than normal. The flowers that were normally red and white roses were now bright blue and purple and Fenneck studied it curiously and wondered if Erikur had been experimenting with them or something.   Fenneck shrugged and focused on getting ready. He noticed Erikur had laid out a particular blue tunic for Fenneck to wear and he smiled as he wondered if they would really have sex tonight. "Are you nervous?" Evelyn asked him excitedly as she walked up behind him.   Fenneck shrugged guiltily. "I don't know," he admitted. "I... do you think enough time has passed?" he asked her nervously. "It's been twelve years, Fenny," she told him. "Besides, you've been in love with him for basically your entire life," she pointed out. Fenneck shook his head. "It's more complicated than that," he argued.   "Is it?" she asked him. "I mean, he's your best friend, you should be with him," she told him. "And what if he's my thiramin?" he asked her sadly. "Or worse - what if he's not, Ev?" Evelyn frowned and looked at him sadly. "Is that really what you're waiting for?" she asked him. Fenneck shrugged in despair. "I don't know, Ev," he admitted. "I just..." "Just what?" she asked him. "Just reluctant to let yourself be happy? Are you really going to let your guilt get the best of you for the rest of your life?"   Fenneck turned away from her and angrily started getting ready. He looked over at the portrait of his parents on the wall, wrapped in a loving embrace and looking deep into each other's eyes. He wanted that. He felt something close with Erikur. He knew that much. Living with him and experiencing this wonderful new world together full of magic and music and happiness was more than Fenneck had ever dreamed possible when he first knocked on Erikur's door and decided to join the revolution.   "Fen," Leonid called out behind him. Fenneck turned and smiled at him. "What do I do?" he asked his father desperately. Leonid walked up and studied the portrait of himself and Faina. "Do you remember the story of our first date?" he asked Fenneck. "I took her to the tavern and we sat in a table in the corner together. I was terrified. She was so pretty and a whole class above me. I was a criminal and a boring scribe," he chuckled. "I remember she was very careful not to touch me and when I finally walked her back to her house I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. She pulled away and giggled. 'Not till we're married,' she said excitedly. I of course was taken aback by this and I remember asking her... I said, 'Why?' and she gave me a devious smile. She said, 'Trust me, the wait will make it better because we know it's coming.'" Leonid smiled and sighed. "Best decision I ever made," he told Fenneck happily.   "So I should wait?" Fenneck asked him. "Erikur and I should wait till we feel thiramin?" he asked him. Leonid shrugged. "I'm glad I did. But my relationship with your namesake was a different case entirely. If I could have gone back I would have savored every second I had with him." Fenneck sighed. "Well, the world is a lot different now. At least our world is. Erikur and I are allowed to be together now," he told him. Leonid smiled proudly at his son. "I know. I'm so glad for that," he told him longingly.   Fenneck sighed at his father's unhelpful words and walked over to his wardrobe and got ready. By the time he was dressed it was already late into the afternoon and he knew Erikur would kill him if he missed even a second of the concert. He headed down to the arena which was already full of people and loud music and lights.   In the center of the stage, washed in bright golden and purple lights was Erikur and Jasna leading the room in exciting music as the giant orchestra and choir behind them played music. The room was swirling with magical dancing lights and dancing people filled every square inch of the room which reeked of alcohol. There was a large crowd of people at the stage singing - or rather, screaming - up at Erikur and Jasna who were dancing and singing with them.   Erikur was wearing shiny lavender robes that were very very revealing and showed off his pretty figure. Jasna was also dressed in a very short, sexy golden dress that shimmered when she moved. Fenneck couldn't help but enjoy the fact that so many of the girls in the room were gossiping about how sexy Erikur was and how much they wanted to sleep with him. Perhaps Fenneck should take advantage of Flottenheim's most wanted tonight.   Fenneck tried to find some alcohol as he waded through the crowd of people. The environment was a little too much for Fenneck, especially being the only sober person in the room. He enjoyed hearing Erikur's perfect voice ringing out through the room. He had a very high voice but it was rich and full, unlike so many very annoying tenors Fenneck had heard before.   He found himself glancing up at Erikur occasionally, enamored by his performance. He was relieved when he finally found a stand of alcohol and he ordered a double shot of vodka. He took the shot and suddenly heard Alexei behind him. "Fenneck! Hey!" Fenneck turned as Alexei barreled into him with an excited hug. "Hey, loser!" Alexei said before hiccupping, clearly ahead of Fenneck in the alcohol department. "Hey," Fenneck greeted him with a smile.   "Wanna hang?!" Alexei asked him, having to shout over the music. "Sure!" Fenneck told him. Alexei suddenly ran over to the booth. "Give us, ah, both a shot of, uh, rum! Double!" he told the bartender, a dwarf who ran a tavern in the Vallee. "Two doubles of rum coming right up!" he said as he poured their drinks. "I just took a double shot of vodka!" Fenneck told Alexei. Alexei playfully elbowed him in the gut a little harder than he probably meant to. "Twink!" he teased him.   "I don't want to get drunk tonight!" Fenneck begged him. Alexei shrugged. "I'll drink it for you, then, weakling!" Fenneck rolled his eyes. "Did you hear about the KAV soldier we found today?!" Alexei nodded as he danced to the music. "Yeah, I saw Vyn and Cath earlier! They said he's the fucker who killed your parents," he said in disgust. "I hope Baegla disintegrates him!" he exclaimed. Fenneck shrugged. "He did surrender, though," Fenneck argued. Alexei shrugged. "They're all monsters anyway!" he said as he downed his shots and casually dropped them on the ground.   "Hey, come on! I wanna dance go dance now go!" Alexei slurred, grabbing Fenneck and pulling him into the crowd of people. They danced for a while and Fenneck let himself relax a bit and revel in the fact that this sort of thing could happen. Ten years ago they had fought a giant phoenix and killed Jasna's mother in this very room as a pit of half-elves burned underneath them. The giant tree in the center of the room had served the mountain well in guarding Flottenheim against evil.   Fenneck found himself watching the stage most of the night, enjoying Erikur's performance. A few times Erikur made eye contact with him and gave give a playful, sexy smile from the stage and Fenneck would roll his eyes. The rest of the night was spent trying to keep Alexei on his feet, which proved very difficult as the night wore on. Eventually they found Catherine, Vyndius, Gwynsickle and a few of their other friends from the palace and they hung out with them.   The music finally calmed down after a few hours and they all found seats closer to the stage as Jasna and Erikur sang a beautiful ballad about Glitterfjell they had written together. The magic in the room started focusing on the tree and the stage as the stars on the ceiling started to dance. Fenneck smiled up at Erikur who looked like he was having the experience of a lifetime as he and Jasna belted out their love for their wonderful country together.   They sang a few more beautiful ballads until they joined hands, prompting everyone in the crowd to do the same as they started singing the final ballad that most of the Glitterfjellians knew by now. Everyone in the room stood and started singing together as they sang their blessings and offered up their magic to the tree before them.   The tree started to glow green with sparkly magic as the wonderful energy coursed through the room, causing it to start blooming and becoming bright with hundreds of different flowers and fruits among its branches. As their voices rang out the last verse Fenneck saw the beautiful blue and green haze of the Aurora Borealis falling down around them. He locked eyes with Erikur as the last note rang out and he felt his heart start to pound.   Everyone started to pour out of the room as a few halflings started singing a soft traditional farewell song. Alexei pulled on Fenneck's hand to lead him out but Fenneck shook his head and motioned to Erikur, releasing Alexei's hand. Alexei nodded and left as Fenneck sat back down, enjoying the stillness and the lovely tune the halflings were singing. After a while the room was empty and the halflings left the stage. Erikur walked over and smiled at Fenneck.   "Hey," Erikur greeted him when it was just the two of them. Fenneck stood up and moved into Erikur's arms. "You sounded amazing tonight," Fenneck told him. "Every girl in the arena was ogling you up there," Fenneck teased him as he caressed his chest. Erikur giggled. "They'll be pretty disappointed to find out I'm gay then, huh?" he said as he kissed Fenneck with a loving, sensual kiss.   The beautiful magic haze in the room made Fenneck feel so romantic and weak for Erikur as Erikur pulled him toward the stage. "Come on up!" he told Fenneck when they made it to the set of stairs. Fenneck nodded and followed him up onto the platform where beautiful, vibrant flowers hung so low they danced around their heads.   "It's something, isn't it?" Fenneck remarked as he caressed a particularly lovely orchid blossom. Erikur nodded and watched him with a wistful look on his face. "Everything is so pretty, isn't it?" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck nodded in agreement, watching Erikur in the magical green light of the tree. Erikur walked around for a moment, looking up into the branches.   "Do you remember when we met?" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck nodded. "You were holding a little rabbit on your farm and I ran up and asked you what it was," he said, smiling at the memory. Erikur nodded. "Yeah," he said before looking into Fenneck's eyes. "You were the prettiest thing I had ever seen in my life at that point," he told Fenneck with a longing look. "Your face and your tunic and your hair... you were so beautiful..." he said longingly.

"Do you remember what happened next?" he asked Fenneck. Fenneck nodded as they continued walking underneath the tree. "You grabbed my hand and showed me the rest of your farm, then my mom asked your mom if you could come hang out," he said. Erikur shook his head. "No," he said. "I did take your hand but... my father scolded us for it," he said sadly. "He called me a faggot and you asked me what it meant," he said, taking a deep breath.
"I like to forget that part," Fenneck told him. Erikur sighed and looked up into Fenneck's eyes. "I never can," he said. "I lied to you, when you asked me what it meant. I knew. I just... I didn't want you to think I... I didn't want you to know that I thought you were beautiful. I didn't want you to know that I... liked you," Erikur admitted with a nervous swallow.
Fenneck looked at him in surprise. "I thought..." Erikur shook his head guiltily. "I've loved you since the day I met you, Fenneck," he said as tears started to brim his pretty green eyes. "You have stolen my heart completely. I can't live without you," he told Fenneck with a face full of heartbreak.
Fenneck shook his head in confusion. "But... we were children, Erik," he said. "We didn't even know what that meant then!" Erikur shrugged. "I did, though. I knew that I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. That I wanted to rest with you at night. That I wanted to play with you and your toy dragons till the end of time. That I wanted to eat every meal with you. That I wanted to... hold your hand," he said wistfully.  
"The sex... the emotions... all of that came later but I... I've always loved you, Fenneck," he said. "In some way, shape or form. It is impossible for me to not feel those things toward you. You keep talking about thiramin and how you can't wait to feel it but... but Fenneck... I don't know if I haven't," he said longingly.
Fenneck's head was spinning at this confession and he didn't know how to respond. His heart stopped as he watched Erikur kneel down in front of him and pull a ring out of his pocket. "What the hell?!" Fenneck exclaimed in fear. "Fenneck, I... I love you so much and I-" "Stop!" Fenneck cut him off and backed away from Erikur in shock at what was happening.
"What are you doing?!" Fenneck asked him in fear. Erikur gave him a desperate look. "Fenneck, come on," he begged him. "Do you not want this too?" Fenneck shook his head in fear. "We aren't thiramin, Erik! We... we..." "Screw thiramin!" Erikur exclaimed. "I mean, come on Fenneck! It can't get better than this!" he begged him.
"Marry me," Erikur begged him. "Let's make our own destiny, Fenneck. Write our own future! Catherine wants to marry Vyndius and they aren't thiramin! Plenty of elves marry each other without it! I know you love me and I love you so why shouldn't we?!" he asked him desperately. "We live together. We do everything other married couples do! I love you, Fenneck. We can do this now. We can have a life together now!"
Fenneck backed away from Erikur in shock as he looked into his perfect face, into his green eyes desperately begging him to open himself up to him in such an intimate way. "Erik..." Fenneck said. "I... I wasn't even sure if I was ready to have sex again tonight. This is too much! This is crazy. I... I can't..." He felt his heart start to splinter as he realized how much pain his next words would cause Erikur. "I can't marry you, Erik. Not... Not now. Not like this... No." The word felt like drawing a knife from a fresh wound.
He watched Erikur's green eyes look up at him, full of pain and betrayal. "No?" he asked Fenneck in disbelief. Fenneck shook his head as tears started to fall down his face. "No. I can't do this," he said. "It's too soon. It's too fast," he said. "I'll... I'll stay in another room tonight. I think we need some space," he told Erikur. Erikur looked up into Fenneck's eyes and shook his head, begging Fenneck not to go. "I'm sorry," Fenneck told him. "I'm really sorry, Erik."
Fenneck backed away from Erikur and turned as he felt tears start to pour down his face as his heart broke into a million pieces. He went up to the palace and ran up to he and Erikur's room and grabbed his necessary belongings before running back down and claiming a guest room for the night. He collapsed into the bed and started sobbing as he felt his soul being ripped to shreds like it had the night Evelyn had broken up with him. He cried for hours until he finally let himself fall into his meditation.