Not Being Alone

Life, Relationship change

Erikur confesses his confusing emotions to Fenneck and they eat breakfast with Catherine and Vyndius.

Fenneck felt Erikur shift and he opened his eyes to see his companion sitting up and stretching his arms out. "Morning," Fenneck told him. Erikur looked back and smiled seeing Fenneck in his bed. "Good morning," he said sweetly. "How'd you rest?" he asked. Fenneck smiled happily as he stretched out his arms in the fluffy pile of pillows on Erikur's bed. "Better than when I was alone in the mountains," he said, giving Erikur a shy smile. Erikur suddenly pursed his lips in disappointment. "I guess you should get out there again to talk to the frost giants, huh?" he said, reluctant to let Fenneck out of his sight again. "You really fought them before and won?" he asked Fenneck curiously. Fenneck giggled. "A little, I mean, I had to talk my way out of a few situations," he admitted. Erikur was intrigued. "How big are they? I've heard rumors that they're as tall as the Great Skyway!" he said, laying down on his chest and playfully sticking his graceful feet in the air as he listened to Fenneck story with his chin in his hands. Fenneck giggled at the idea. "They aren't nearly that big!" he told him. "They're maybe... about three times as tall as me, maybe four," he explained, laying back in Erikur's soft pillows and enjoying the soft fluffy fox-fur comforter Erikur had that he had obviously convinced Naertho to dye purple. "The first time I met one was when I had a dangerous run-in with a Yeti. Luckily, the giant showed up and chopped the other beast in half with his huge axe. The blade was about as tall as I am!" Erikur's eyes glistened with intrigue and admiration as Fenneck told him about his adventure. "He suddenly turned on me and I quickly aimed an arrow at his head and told him I meant no harm. He didn't seem to care though and went to cut me in half so I shot the arrow squarely in his forehead!" he exclaimed as he reenacted the event with his hands. "It was just like that old elvish story when the elf Dardiel hits the giant orc Grulliach with a slingshot!" Fenneck said excitedly. "So the giant stumbled and I nimbly dodged the giant axe as he fell to the ground with a loud thud that shook the ground, causing a small avalanche of snow to fall down the mountains below us!" he exclaimed. "So I notched another arrow and approached him to see him rubbing his forehead in pain from yanking the arrow out. He was bleeding really bad so I said, 'look, I don't want any quarrel with you, you saved my life, please let me save yours.'" Fenneck enjoyed Erikur's excitement and he continued. "The giant was hesitant but he nodded weakly so I walked over and carefully touched his head and closed the wound with magic. He was very surprised and he sat up and looked me over before reaching out a huge hand to shake my own," he said proudly. Erikur smiled and sat up. "You've really had quite the adventure, haven't you?" he remarked. Fenneck sighed pensively. "I suppose I have. I'm not the pampered princess-dating tailor I used to be. That's for sure," he said, frowning a bit. Erikur scooted up next him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I like you like this," he said wistfully. "You seem more... rugged and determined," he said, caressing his arms. "You just think my new muscles are sexy," Fenneck teased him. Erikur smiled and gave him a playful shrug. "Guilty," he said, giving Fenneck a sexy wink. "But really, Fen," he said, being more serious. "I've always loved you as a person, but I really do like this change in you. I think you'll end up being happier for it in the long run." Fenneck shook his head. "I'm sad, Erikur," he argued. "I'm sad and depressed and full of guilt. I don't know if I'll ever really be happy again." Erikur frowned and squeezed Fenneck into a tight hug, burying his head into Fenneck's neck. Fenneck sighed heavily and kissed Erikur on the head. "I'm sorry, Erik," he apologized. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I... I am happy sometimes... it's just... different." Erikur nodded and looked up at Fenneck. "I just don't know how to help," he said sadly. Fenneck smiled at him. "Trust me, you are," he assured him. "Being here with you again helps. A lot." Erikur smiled and leaned up and kissed Fenneck on the cheek. Fenneck kissed his cheek back and sighed. "When should I go into the mountains, you think?" he asked Erikur. Erikur pondered this for a moment. "Maybe today?" he suggested. "How long of a journey is it?" he asked. Fenneck considered this and shrugged. "Maybe two full days there and two back?" he guessed. "I can camp in my cave on the way there," he said. "You have a cave," Erikur mused. "You're adorable," he told Fenneck who scoffed and shook his head. "How is that adorable?" he asked him. Erikur shrugged. "I just like to imagine you up in your little cave, curled up in the fur of your latest kill next to a warm fire as you carve out little arrow heads from rocks!" Fenneck laughed at him. "It's not as romantic as you make it seem!" he teased him. Erikur giggled. "Let me enjoy my fantasy!" he said, playfully tickling Fenneck. Fenneck pulled him into his lap and kissed him to distract Erikur from tickling him. Erikur was very turned on by this and Fenneck pulled back and playfully shoved a very excited Erikur off of him. "Tease," Erikur said, clearly disappointed that they weren't shagging. Fenneck scoffed at him. "You know," Fenneck said. "After our dinner with Alina and Pyotr, I was wondering if maybe it wasn't an awful idea to wait to have sex again until I actually meet my thiramin." Erikur rolled his eyes. "Dumb," he said, climbing off the bed and stripping out of his pajamas, showing off his very sexy, slender body to Fenneck as he took his time trying to decide what to wear. "What do you mean, dumb?" Fenneck asked him as if he was offended. Erikur turned to him with his very erect cock pointing straight at Fenneck. "I mean, that's a dumb thing to put your faith in. Not all elves feel or meet their thiramins, Fenneck. You might as well become a monk," he argued, somewhat playfully. Fenneck shook his head. "Look, just because your parents never felt it doesn't mean it won't happen to us!" Fenneck argued, trying to ignore Erikur's nudeness. "Besides, your parents are assholes." Erikur turned away and found a pair of underpants and slipped them on. "I just don't think it's something you should bet on, that's all," Erikur said a bit aggressively. "I'm okay with never being with someone again, Erik," Fenneck told him. "I had Evelyn. I just don't see the point until I fall in love with someone the way I did with her," he said. Erikur sighed in annoyance and threw his undershirt on. "And what if we don't survive this? This attack on the city," Erikur finally asked him, turning to face Fenneck. "Then I'll die peacefully knowing I didn't ruin what I had with Evelyn," Fenneck said confidently. "You think I don't understand the stakes of this, Erik? I am more than willing to lay down my life in my parents' and Evelyn's memory," he told Erikur morbidly. Erikur gave him a conflicted look. "I just don't want you to be miserable," he said. Fenneck shrugged. "I'm not. Not really. I just want to help others right now. I want to help implement these farms and make our home a safer, happier place for everyone," he said, giving Erikur a pleading look and hoping they wouldn't continue this argument. Erikur nodded and turned back to his dresser and pulled some clothes out for both of them. "Here," he said as he sat the clothes down in front of Fenneck. "I'll head up to Naertho's shop and see if I can get you some better gear for the mountains," he said. "How about we plan today and you head out first thing tomorrow?" he suggested. Fenneck nodded. "Sounds good," he said. Erikur started getting dressed in one of his usual lavender tunics. "Maybe Vyndius will want to go with you," he suggested. "Yeah, maybe," Fenneck said as he climbed out of bed and started getting dressed in the awkwardness that had arisen between them. When they were both dressed he walked over to Erikur who had been avoiding his eyes. "Erik," he said, reaching out and caressing Erikur's arm. "What's wrong?" he asked him. Erikur finally looked up at Fenneck guiltily. "I'm just... trying to figure this out," he said. "I know we're just friends and... and I want to be happy with that, Fenneck. I just need some time," he said. "It's nice having you here," he explained. "I just haven't really been with anyone else since... since you started dating Evelyn," he admitted. Fenneck felt guilt well up inside him. "I don't understand," Fenneck said. Erikur gave him a sad look. "Fenneck, I can't just... be with someone," he scolded him. "I'm not allowed to be with men! I can't just walk out in the street and ask a man out. I don't like women. Jasna and I even fooled around one night and I just wasn't into it. You were the only person willing to risk their life to love me, Fenneck. You did it without a second thought," he said wistfully. "I know you loved Evelyn and that this isn't that. I'm not trying to force myself on you or negate your relationship with her. I feel awful for feeling these things, Fen! I feel like a piece of shit for wanting to be with you and for getting disappointed when you tell me no. I know you're dealing with a lot and romance is and should be the farthest thing from your mind. I just... I'm just trying to figure out my emotions toward you," he explained with tears brimming in his eyes. "I've lived alone for almost ten years now, Fenneck. I've been really lonely," he admitted sadly, allowing a single tear to slide down his perfect cheek. Fenneck dropped his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Erik. I know you feel like I abandoned you when I met Evelyn and I understand that you were jealous-" "I wasn't jealous of her, Fenneck," Erikur cut him off. "I was jealous that you could find someone like that. A princess even! I was jealous that she was willing to hide a relationship with you and no one else in my life was willing to do that for me. Not even Alexei who has to hide half his life away anyway for being involved in this political group. I know how much you loved her and I wanted so desperately to feel what that was like... and I knew I never would," he said sadly. "Having you here, going out with other couples, sharing a bed with you, reading to you as you cuddled into my arms, it's..." he was blushing and crying as he struggled to find the right words. "It's the best feeling in the world, Fenneck. Not being alone." Fenneck felt tears well up in his eyes as he imagined how sad and lonely Erikur had been these last few years. How it wasn't fair that he had to hide and suffer alone through his pain. Fenneck sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands, feeling ashamed of himself. Erikur slowly sat down next to him. "Fen?" he asked sadly. Fenneck shrugged and sniffled, trying not to break down. "I've been so selfish," he said remorsefully. Erikur shook his head and gently caressed his back. "No, you haven't," Erikur assured him. "You've done nothing wrong, Fenneck. If anything, I have," he said, shaking his head in shame. Fenneck leaned against him and felt Erikur lean back. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you these last few years," Fenneck told him. Erikur sighed. "Me too," he said. "I can't tell you how many nights I've spent beating myself up for not telling you about the curse sooner," he said. "I could have saved her," he whispered desperately. Fenneck scooted closer to him. "Imagine how I feel for pushing you away that night," Fenneck said. They shared an understanding look of their shared guilt and Erikur took a deep breath. "We should go see if my sister got lucky with Vyndius last night," he said, trying to lighten the mood. He stood up and reached a hand out to pull Fenneck up from the bed. Fenneck went with him and they walked out into the living room where Vyndius was snoring on the couch with Tykva sleeping in a ball on his chest with his orange tail draped across Vyndius' face like a mustache. Gwynsickle was curled up along side Vyndius under the throw blanket they were sharing. Catherine was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and they walked in and joined her. Erikur gave his sister a tight hug. "It's so nice seeing you back here again," he told her sweetly as he kissed her annoyingly on the cheek. She shoved him off. "Go away, you'll make me spill this!" she said, referring to the bowl in her hands that was full of what looked like pureed fruit. Erikur let her be but he smiled in spite of their sibling squabble, truly happy that she was home safe. "I'm making fruit tarts if you guys will be patient," she told them. "Yummy," Erikur said as he pulled out a pitcher from the ice box and poured two glasses of a dark, yellow drink Fenneck had never seen before. Erikur handed him a glass and Fenneck gave him a wary look. "The hell is this? Horse piss?" he asked Erikur. Erikur chuckled. "It's apple juice, silly! Pyotr and Alina make it. It's like a cider but cold and no cinnamon. Sometimes he puts a lot of sugar in it but normally it's just straight juice." Fenneck took a sip and was very excited about this new discovery. "This is the greatest thing ever!" he exclaimed. Erikur giggled at him. "You're adorable," he teased him. "It's great mixed with mead too," he said, plopping himself down at the table. Fenneck joined him as Catherine continued working. "You both should be quiet," she scolded them. "Vyn is still sleeping." Erikur smiled mischievously. "Well, I'd hate to bother your new boyfriend," he teased her. "You must have really worn him out last night." He gave her a playful wink. She gave him an angry look. "Will you please cut that out?!" she begged him. "It's embarrassing!" she said, clearly offended. Erikur recoiled a bit in surprise. "I... I'm sorry," he said, genuinely remorseful. "I didn't realize you actually like him," he explained. "I just thought it was a funny bit." She softened her demeanor towards him. "I don't know if I like him," she whispered, not wanting the halfling in question to overhear them. "I mean... it would be weird right? To be with a halfling?" Erikur chuckled and shook his head. "You know Jasna and Baegla are like madly in love with each other, right?" he asked her. Catherine dropped her jaw in surprise. Fenneck was also surprised by this. "Really?" he asked Erikur. Erikur nodded. "Yeah, I introduced them actually. They try not to draw attention to it but yeah, they've been sleeping together for years now," he explained as he coolly drank from his glass, excited to spill the juicy gossip. "They've talked about getting married once the revolution happens but I'm not sure if they will or not." Catherine pursed her lips as she considered this. "Well... what about the fact that we... we live for so much longer?" she asked him. Erikur shrugged. "After the last ten years of my life, I don't bank on having centuries to jerk myself off," he said, a bit morbidly. "I think you have to embrace the days you have," he said, glancing at Fenneck. "And embrace the ones you love. The gods only know how long we really have here with each other." Catherine sighed as she put the tarts in the oven and sat down next to Erikur. "I guess that's a fair point," she agreed. "Especially with this plan we have going." Fenneck decided to change the subject before it got too dark. "So do you think Vyndius would want to accompany me into the mountains?" he asked Catherine. "I'm sure he would. He's anxious to get started," she said. "How long will it take? Just how dangerous is it?" she asked him, unable to hide her worry about Vyndius walking into a dangerous situation. "Not too long," Fenneck said. "Maybe a four or five day trip in total. The mountains aren't too bad. The storms might be rough this time of year and we might run into a yeti or something. We also have to convince the giants not to kill us on sight," he said. Catherine frowned. "Sounds dangerous." "Oh please," Erikur told her. "Didn't you and Vyndius literally survive a trip to hell and back? Fenneck's been living in the mountains alone for two years. I think they'll be fine," he assured her. "Who will be fine doing what?!" Vyndius asked, rubbing his eyes as he walked in the kitchen, followed by Gwynsickle who waddled over to a chair next Catherine and honked up at her excitedly. Catherine shook her head and smiled at the penguin. "I guess you need breakfast too, huh?" She stood and walked over to the ice box and pulled out a sliver of raw bacon and tossed it to the penguin who opened his beak and caught it the air before swallowing it whole in one smooth motion. Erikur chuckled at the bird and turned to Vyndius. "You wanna go into the mountains with Fenneck and convince a bunch of dangerous frost giants to join the fight for our freedom?" he asked Vyndius point blank. "Absolutely I do!" Vyndius said excitedly as he hopped up in the chair next to Fenneck. "When are we heading out?!" he asked excitedly. Erikur smiled. "Tomorrow morning. I'm going to go up to Naertho's shop today to get you both some warm armor for your journey. You should pack some rations and get some rest today," Erikur told them. "Wonderful!" Vyndius exclaimed. "What is that delicious smell?!" he asked excitedly sniffing the air. Catherine smiled. "Fruit tarts," she said proudly. "They should be done soon," she told him. He smiled at her. "You're cooking is gonna force me to have Fenneck let my trousers out!" he said patting his belly happily. Fenneck chuckled. "You should try her sharlotka," Fenneck told him. Erikur rolled his eyes. "You really will get hard for anything with apples in it, won't you?" he teased Fenneck. Fenneck scoffed at him. "What, you jealous of a fruit?" he teased him back. Erikur playfully elbowed him in the side. "I'm just as sweet and juicy," he said, winking at Fenneck. "Ewww!" Catherine said, punching her brother in the arm for his crudeness. "Get a room!" she told them as she stood to get the tarts out of the oven. Erikur rolled his eyes and turned to Vyndius. "How you holding up?" he asked him. "I'm fine. Excited to get this going!" he said. Catherine fixed everyone a plate with a tart and they happily dug into the lovely breakfast. "This fruit is almost as sweet as yours," Vyndius said to Erikur, bouncing off his joke, somewhat poorly. Erikur chuckled. "I would offer to let you taste mine but alas, Fenneck has rightfully claimed me for the time being," he said. Vyndius chuckled. "He's a lucky fellow indeed, then," Vyndius said before turning back to his food. Fenneck glanced over at Erikur and caught his eye. "I don't want to make Catherine upset. She clearly likes him." Erikur's voice entered Fenneck's head, like Evelyn used to do sometimes, startling him a bit. "Just play along for a bit?" Fenneck nodded and gave Erikur a smile. Erikur hopped up and kissed Fenneck on the cheek. "Well, unfortunately I have a few errands and couple of rehearsals I have to go to today. You all should rest up, though. Steal whatever from the cupboard. I'm going to pick up some fresh vegetables from Pyotr soon. I'll see you tonight," he said before leaning down and kissing Fenneck on the lips very passionately. Fenneck felt his skin start to flush and Erikur pulled away, giving him a longing, confused look as he left Fenneck's embrace. He straightened himself out and turned to the group. "Do not leave this house or I'll hunt you down and kill you myself before the KAV even has the chance," he told them with a stern look before suddenly smiling and grabbing his flute case and swinging it around his shoulder before heading out and locking the door behind him. "Well, wanna throw a rave now that daddy is gone?" Vyndius said. Fenneck smiled. "Hey now, I'm the only one who's allowed to call him that," he joked. Vyndius burst out laughing and slammed his fist down on the table as he howled at the joke, prompting Gwynsickle to start honking along with him. Catherine glared at Fenneck for encouraging this. "You're both children," she scolded them. "Oh come on, Cathy, lighten up," he teased her, knowing how much she hated being called Cathy. She gave him a death glare and Fenneck chuckled nervously. "Don't you dare call me that, Fenneck Finnegan Frostears!" she said, revealing his full name to Vyndius. "Oh come on!" he said in annoyance. "You started it!" she exclaimed across the table. "Fine, you want to play that game, Catherine Babochka Oblonsky?" he dissed her back, raising his brow challengingly. "It means 'butterfly'!" she said, trying to defend her middle name. "It sounds like babushka!" he teased her, rather immaturely. Vyndius was watching their fight with wide, excited eyes. She glared at him. "Summer, 1830, you pissed your pants one day at my parents' farm when a goat scared you by charging between your legs!" she said, proudly. Fenneck scoffed at her. "The first time Erikur and I had sex was because he found your little notebook full of pornography and he showed it off to me and Alexei," he said, confident that he had this in the bag. Catherine's face flushed completely red. Vyndius looked like he was about to burst with joy. "Alexei said he walked in on you once with a cucumber in your ass," she said, pulling out the big guns. "Okay... okay... Erikur said you had a crush on my dad when you were younger!" Fenneck said, causing her to gasp in shock that Erikur would reveal such a thing. "I've actually heard you call my brother daddy in bed before! It was awful!" she exclaimed. Fenneck smiled proudly. "That was him calling me daddy," he said coyly. "You really think he's the top?" he asked her, raising his brow challengingly. Vyndius chuckled evilly with his new dirt on the two of them. "Aaaand we've come full circle," he said conclusively as the two high elves glared at each other. "This was amazing," Vyndius said. "Absolutely beautiful. We should do it again sometime," he said cheekily. Gwynsickle squawked happily next to him. Catherine was blushing and Fenneck realized he'd probably taken it a bit too far with her crush sitting there. He stood up. "Thanks for breakfast," he told her. "I'm going to go take a bath before we have to leave tomorrow," he said, walking back toward Erikur's room and bathroom. "Maybe this afternoon, we can sit down and go over the plan?" he asked Vyndius who nodded excitedly. "Sounds wonderful!" he said before turning to Catherine. "Are there any more tarts?!" he asked her excitedly. Fenneck left them and saw Tykva sitting on the couch looking up at him expectantly. "Hey Tykva," Fenneck said as he leaned down to pet the cat. Tykva happily licked his hand and Fenneck stood back up at went into Erikur's room to draw a bath.