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Life, Relationship change

Natalya gets caught sneaking into Lenisily by Dimitri. They talk and make love that night and decide to help Dimitri's targets escape Lenisily through the mountains she had mapped out with Fenneck.

It was night time and Natalya moved through the forest carefully. She was ready. She had left her camping supplies at the base of the pass into Glitterfjell. She wouldn't need them anymore. She needed her flexibility. She moved stealthily through the forest. Out of nowhere an arrow hit her shoulder. She stumbled and turned to see the familiar form of Dimitri. Natalya drew her bow and fired an arrow that skimmed past Dimitri's leg. He fired back two arrows hitting her in her other shoulder and leg causing pain to rip through Natalya's body. She stumbled to the ground. He approached bow drawn and asked in Lenisilian "Who are you and what are you doing here?" She removed her hood and look up at Dimitri who instinctively went to help before stopping and getting angry. "What the hell are you doing here? I could have killed you!" "So why don't you." She said, nearly emotionless. She looked like hell and thought it would be a fitting end to die by Dimitri's arrows. Dimitri slowly moved toward her and crouched down in the snow next to her, "I thought I taught you better than this." He said as he helped her lean against a tree. She didn't fight back as he slowly drew the arrow from her leg. She didn't flinch from the pain. She hoped he'd let her bleed out here in the snow. He started tending her wounds and Natalya found herself enjoying the feel of his strong, hard hands once again. She tried to remember the last time they had been together, before she had ruined everything. Her brain felt fuzzy though. "What happened to you Nat? You look like hell." He asked. She felt relief wash over her to hear the anger gone from his voice. "I've been in the mountains. Fenneck found me and I was with him for a while but...but this whole theramin thing wasn't working so I left again. I don't deserve to live Dimitri." He moved to the arrow in her shoulder and he gently removed the blade he pulled down her shirt and cloak to get to her skin. "Only you would end up in paradise and run away because it wasn't exciting enough for you." He was close to her now. She enjoyed smelling Dimitri's sweat. It had been so long. She looked into his face and saw his tired, sad eyes. He looked like he'd also had a rough couple years. He had let his scruff grow out more than normal and Natalya noticed he had a couple grey hairs in his dark, messy locks. "I messed everything up. All I ever do is hurt people." She said sadly. Dimitri moved to her other shoulder. "Really? I was thinking you lost your touch, all you did was nick me." He joked to her, motioning to the small rip in his armor where her arrow had missed. She laughed and smiled. She missed him so much. She wanted to believe he could still care for her. That he didn't completely hate her for what she had done. "Sit still. This one is deep." He said carefully drawing the arrow. Natalya winced from the pain and Dimitri hurried to stop the bleeding. He was so gentle and Natalya wanted nothing more than to let him touch her the way they used to. "How have you been?" She asked cautiously. "Fine. Nothing ever really changes around here. It's cold. Pufuktin has been putting out more bounties than normal so that keeps me fairly busy." Natalya thought for a moment, "Do you ever regret it? Killing innocent people?" He looked at her coldly. "Every single one. But there's not much I can do." He was taking his time on her last wound, Natalya noticed and was grateful for his touch. "I don't know how to deal with the guilt." She said. They had never talked about this before. Occasionally they had comforted each other from a particularly traumatic assasination but they never talked about what it did to them, or the nightmares that had both experienced. He thought and slowly finished tying off her wound. He gently pulled her shirt back up and wrapped her cloak around her shoulders. "I never have." He said solemnly, "Why did you do it Natalya? Why did you kill Staladin? Why go against everything we were taught and told to do?" She looked him in the eyes, "A few months before, I had a job, in the mining town. I hadn't been there before. It was horrific Dimitri. There were these massive graves full of bodies, mostly half elves. They had killed them with some form of magical gas. I...I had to walk away and I ended up in a small grove of trees where I just cried. I cried for hours Dimitri." She was becoming emotional, "A snowflake fell landed in my hand. It was so..."She felt a tear roll down her cheek at the memory, "Beautiful and complicated and...and everything just...made sense." She looked up at him, more resolved. "I did what I could. I know it may not have been the best thing in the long run but Staladin was evil. He deserved to die. I don't regret it Dimitri. If I went back...I'd do it again." Dimitri gently rubbed her tear away, "I love you." He said gently. "I love that you're so good." His face filled with pain and sadness, "You always gave me hope. Hope that...that there is some good in this awful world." Natalya reached out and caressed his messy hair out of his face. He leaned forward and kissed her. He was careful not to hurt her as he lowered her unto her back, into the snow. Natalya only hesitated for a brief moment as the thought of Fenneck slipped through her mind before she gave herself to Dimitri. He was gentle and passionate and Natalya found herself grateful to be in his familiar arms once again. The sun was starting to rise by the time they finished. Natalya was grateful Dimitri had a heating stone on him too keep them warm. Natalya found herself dreading the rising sun. "What will you do now?" Dimitri asked her. Natalya looked at him, "Run away with me. Come to Thymryu. We can start a new life together. I can get us through the mountains." Dimitri looked away and shook his head. "We can't do that Nat." "Why not?" She begged him. Dimitri looked at her sadly, "I don't want to run my whole life." "How is staying here as a slave any better?" She asked. Dimitri thought for a moment, "They'll find me. My brother will find me Nat. I...I can't just leave. As awful as this place is, it's still my home. Besides, you know that won't work." "What do you mean?" She asked him. "I mean...look at you. You had that choice. To build a new life, to escape, to fall in love...and look at where you're at. Right back here. Lenisily doesn't seem to be done with you yet." "What if it's you? I love you Dimitri-" He interrupted her, "Stop, you met your actual soulmate Nat. You were given the greatest gift the gods could give you and you ran away from him. Clearly love isn't the thing you crave to survive." She thought for a moment, "Then I guess I'll go face Pufuktin." He rolled his eyes, "This again? You really think you can get into that palace in this state, past tons of guards and Lenisily agents to then...what? He isn't gonna try to sleep with you, you already played that card." "I don't know Dimitri! I just know that I can't just sit around anymore. I hate myself. I hate living. I just-" "I don't believe you." Dimitri harshly interrupted her. "I don't believe you want to die. I think you're hurt and confused. I think you hoped that killing Staladin would fix more things than it did. I think your heart breaks for your country and your people but I don't believe you hate yourself enough to stop fighting." He thought for a long moment. "You said you found ways through the mountains, into Glitterfjell?" "Yeah, so what?" Natalya said, feeling hopeless. "Is it safe enough for commoners to get through, people who need to get out of Lenisily?" She thought for a moment and remembered the roads she and Fenneck had marked up there in the mountains. "To a degree." She said, "Fenneck and I were prepping them for that sort of thing. And to keep watch on them so that Lenisily agents couldn't get through. It's dangerous though, most would probably need a guide." Dimitri thought for another moment. "What if I sent my targets into the mountains? It's risky, but I could manage to let a few slip through. I mostly work on this southern border anyway. You meet them in the mountains, help them into Glitterfjell. I've been getting a new contract every couple months or so now and we would need a way to communicate but we might could pull something like that off. You would get to help some people. I know it won't make up for our pasts but...maybe it will help." Natalya felt a calmness wash over her and saw the world line up a little. "I have a job. Tonight actually. It's a family of wood elves. They got mixed up in a political group...they have a small child." Natalya felt her heart hurt at the thought. The jobs involving children always stung the most. "I'll meet them at the base on the mountains." She said latching onto a sense of purpose. Dimitri nodded, "You should leave, before the next post shows up." They stood up and Natalya took Dimitri's hands, "Will I see you again tonight?" She asked. Dimitri thought for a moment, "No, I'll send them into the mountains. They'll think I'm sending them there to die. I can't risk getting caught Nat. You focus on finding them. After you get them to safety come and find me, I'll try and come up with a way we can communicate before then. You should go though." Natalya nodded and reached up to kiss Dimitri one more time. "Go." He said. "Good luck." She said staring longingly into his blue eyes. They seemed hopeful for the first time in a very long time. She finally pulled away and turned toward the mountains. She made it to the pass and found a place to wait until nightfall.