Red Snow

Life, Milestone

Fenneck finds Natalya in the mountains and saves her.

The wind swirled Fenneck's snow-white hair across his face annoyingly as he looked out from his new home. The bumblebear cave he had found was a pretty good base to live out of. He had planted a small garden in it and covered the entrance with pelts. Catherine had dropped off some supplies to him and he was feeling good about this change. He had missed the mountains and wilderness. He loved Flottenheim but he felt more at home here in nature. It had been a week or so now since Natalya had left and he had decided to leave the city. He still felt her presence with him though. Fenneck wasn't sure if he liked that or not. Sometimes it made it more painful and sometimes it helped fight off his loneliness as he spent his nights alone in his cave. He tried not to think about her and instead focus on his new job of mapping out the land and exploring this wilderness. He started walking north. He was scouting at this point, just trying to get a lay of the land and not run into anything too dangerous or straying too far from his base just yet. After a few hours, he crested a ridge and looked out into the rocky terrain. In the distance, against a ledge, he saw what looked like a splash of red blood against the snow. He moved closer and suddenly recognized that it wasn't blood, but Natalya's crimson locks splayed out over a pile of snow. His heart lurched in pain and he ran to her. He started digging her out frantically. "Natalya!" he shouted as he pulled her from the snow. He felt tears start to stream down his face in fear. "No, Natalya! Please don't be dead!" he begged her. Her skin felt dry and chapped but thankfully not frozen. Fenneck realized that she was wearing his ring and he sighed with relief. He put his head to her chest and could faintly pick out her heartbeat over the wind. He picked her up and started walking back to the cave, clutching her unconscious body to his chest. After a very long journey, he finally made it and laid her down next to the fireplace, pulling off her snowy, wet clothes and weapons till she was in her undergarments. He gently carried her over to his bed and laid her down in the blankets and furs. He summoned healing magic into her but she remained unconscious. He was overwhelmed with fear at the state she was in, but grateful to have found her. He hoped she was okay. He wasn't sure how long she had been there or why. She didn't seem to be injured. He tried a few times to dribble some water into her mouth, knowing that was probably the main source of her ailment. "Is she okay?" Erikur leaned down next to them. "I don't know," Fenneck said desperately. Erikur sat down on the other side of Natalya and gently caressed her hair. "Well, it's a good thing you found her," he said. Fenneck nodded. "I suppose so. Does she look okay to you?" he asked. "You were always the better healer." Erikur studied her for a bit. "I think she needs rest and food. Her eyes are puffy and red like she was crying," he pointed out. "I wonder what happened," Fenneck said, trying to imagine how she'd ended up there. "She couldn't have only made it that far. It's been a couple weeks now. Surely she made it to Lenisily already. I guess it didn't go well," Erikur mused, folding his arms. "I suppose so. I guess we could have seen that coming, huh?" Fenneck asked his friend as he gently tucked the blankets around Natalya's body. "Considering she's the most wanted woman on Pufuktin's hit list I'd imagine it would be pretty hard for her to make it very far past the border." Fenneck studied her for a moment and gently caressed her chapped face. "Well?" Erikur asked him. "Well what?" Fenneck asked, not looking away from Natalya. "She's back," Erikur pointed out. Fenneck slowly looked up at Erikur in fear. "She still left, Erik. She doesn't want me," Fenneck said turning back to look at Natalya longingly. "Maybe not yet. Did you ever think there was more to the whole 'waiting till you marry your thiramin' thing? That maybe it's not just for a good fuck?" Fenneck looked up at Erikur, confused. Erikur rolled his eyes at him and gently stroked Natalya's hair. "Maybe try to look at the big picture, Fenneck. Your lives are clearly more complicated than you think they are. I have a feeling your souls are more interlaced than you think. Give it time." Fenneck looked up at Erikur who was still smiling down at Natalya. "I don't want to get hurt again Erikur." Erikur nodded, still looking down. "You can't have one without the other, Fen." "Can't have what?" Fenneck asked him. "Love... and pain. Catherine was right. Look, if you want to furlough pain in your life, you can. But you can't love without it. Otherwise, they'd both be meaningless." Fenneck pursed his lips. "Be with her tonight, Fen. Open yourself up a little. I don't mean the crazy wistful love you felt with Evelyn. Just be with her. Be her friend. She needs a friend, Fenneck. Look at her. She's so alone. She's been alone for her whole life," Erikur said, sadly caressing Natalya's face. "She has Dimitri," Fenneck argued. Erikur finally looked up and met his eyes. "So what? She has one person. How many have you had? Did Evelyn erase the need for me and Alexei in your life?" Erikur shook his head in pity. "You sulk and sulk and glorify your years with me but you constantly fail to realize the reason our relationship meant so much to you. And I'll give you a hint. It wasn't the sex." Fenneck looked down at Natalya and back up at Erikur. "But she's my thiramin. She's supposed to be my wife, my-" Erikur cut him off. "Do you actually remember anything your parents told you about thiramin?" Fenneck stopped and looked at Erikur. "Yes, that we're soulmates. That we're meant to be together. That our lives are destined to..." He found himself at a loss for words. Erikur helped him out. "It means your souls are interlocked at this point in your life. That you share a common purpose and goal. That you are meant to help each other achieve that end. Sure, sometimes that means love and romance, but they are not the same Fenneck. I tried to tell you that so many times. Why didn't you listen to me?" Erikur said, pleading with him. Fenneck looked down at Natalya and felt tears well up in his eyes. Erikur sighed and stood to leave. "Good luck, Fen," he said sadly before making his way out of the cave. Fenneck didn't try to stop him as he disappeared into the mountains. Fenneck took a deep breath and tried to give Natalya some more water. He found himself enjoying tending to her. Eventually he laid down next to her and pulled her close to him as he meditated. When he awoke from his meditation Natalya was still unconscious. He picked up the waterskin and tried again to give her more water. She was looking better but she still needed to wake up before Fenneck could try and feed her. He got up and chopped up some vegetables and made some stew to cook over the fire. He then tried one more time to give Natalya some water. Her lips responded more this time and Fenneck felt relieved to finally see some improvement in her state. He let out a small sigh of relief and walked out of the cave, looking down into the ravine below. Everything seemed to be quiet but he went on a short walk to check the area just in case any dangerous creatures were about, never straying far from the cave. After a couple hours he returned to his home. He pushed the pelts aside and saw Natalya sitting up in the bed, looking weak and scared. Natalya looked startled when she saw him and tried to say something but her dry throat prevented her from making any noise. Fenneck smiled with relief and quickly ran to her. "Don't speak. Hold on." He pulled out a water skin and gently trickled more water into her throat which she gratefully drank. She was too weak to hold the skin herself, so he helped her drink small sips so as not to shock her dehydrated system. When she had finished the entire thing he propped her back up with some pillows so she could sit up against the wall of the cave comfortably. At first she seemed resistant to his help and affections but she quickly gave in to his tender care. He fixed her a bowl of soup and fed her. Her muscles were weak and she found it difficult to even lift her arms. After a few moments, Fenneck saw her start to get upset. He gently cupped her cheek in his hand. "It's okay. You're safe now. Just relax, okay?" She opened her mouth to speak again but her voice cracked in pain. "Shhhh. Don't speak, Nat. It's okay." He took the now empty bowl from her and set it down before moving the pillows and curling up behind her so that she was nestled comfortably in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and gently caressed her skin. After a few moments, he started singing a soft elvish lullaby to sooth her. He felt her collapse into him and he nuzzled her face lovingly.   Fenneck awoke from his meditation to find Natalya moving in his arms. "Good morning." He greeted her sweetly in elvish. "Good morning," Natalya cracked back to him, her throat still dry. He reached over and grabbed another waterskin and handed it to her. She grabbed it and drank it thirstily. "I'm glad you're okay," he said, smiling as she chugged the water. When she finished she took a deep breath and turned to Fenneck. "Where did you find me?" she asked him, her voice was still cracking and tired but she could manage to speak well enough at this point. "In a pile of snow. Luckily I saw your hair in the sunlight." Natalya looked around at the cave nervously. "Where are we?" "As of two weeks ago it was a bumblebear's home. I guess you could say it still is seeing as it never left," he caressed the beautiful white and black fur of the bumblebear they were bundled in. "But...where are we?" she asked. "In the mountains, not far from where I found you," Fenneck explained. "You followed me?" she said accusingly. "No," he said, annoyed at her sudden disdain and accusation. He stood up. "I'm up here to study the land and map out the mountains. Finding you was either an accident or an act of the gods." He went over to tend the fire pit. "You should have let me die," Natalya said woefully. "All I've done with my life is cause pain and suffering for others." Fenneck looked back at her to see her face was full of shame and disdain. "Don't be morbid. I couldn't have just left you there," He said, acknowledging the ridiculousness of such an idea as he walked over to the barrel of fruit and pulled out some apples. She turned to him, suddenly bewildered. "How did you know?" He walked over and sat down across the fire from Natalya. "Know what?" he asked her, unaware of what she was referring to. He started cutting up the apples. "Know that you would see me again," she asked him. He didn't look up, but he found her observation odd. "I didn't," he said, honestly. "But you wouldn't kiss me. You said we'd see each other again," Natalya said, arguing with him. "I said nothing of the sort," Fenneck argued back. "I said the moment wasn't right. Not that the moment would ever exist or not." He looked up into her eyes. "I did not know if I would see you again, Natalya." Her eyes looked frustrated by this and he looked back down and tried to focus on the apples. "I should go," she said suddenly. She tried to stand but she winced in pain and barely moved an inch. "You are not well enough for that. Sit down before you hurt yourself," Fenneck said passively. He was a bit annoyed that she was just ready to run off again without so much as a thank you for saving her life. He looked up at her to find her glaring daggers at him. He smiled, bemused by her aggression. "You think this is funny?" she spat venomously. Fenneck matched her glare before looking back down at his fruit. He felt himself growing angry with her. "Did you actually make it to Lenisily or did you decide to kill yourself so that Pufuktin wouldn't have the pleasure of doing it himself?" he asked her passive-aggressively. Natalya glared at him. "I made it just fine," she crossed her arms and turned away from him. "I take it it went well," he said sarcastically. Natalya rolled her eyes and didn't respond. Fenneck set the fruit down angrily and looked up at her. "Look, the least you could do is thank me for saving your pathetic ass from freezing to death," he said, rather harshly. "I didn't ask you to come save me!" she spat at him. He was genuinely bewildered by her behavior. "Oh okay. So next time I see someone in the fetal position an inch from death you're telling me that instead of helping the poor soul I should think to myself, 'hmm, maybe, just maybe they wanted to die here, so who am I to interfere with that desire?'" he asked mockingly. "I would just ask them but, oh, they are completely incapacitated and unable to inform me of their desire to continue living or not." He rubbed his chin and feigned confusion before shrugging sarcastically. "Oh well." Natalya's face was almost as red as her hair from anger and frustration. "You're a real charmer, you know that?" she angrily huffed at him. "Oh darling," he said condescendingly. "You lost the right to my affection when you left me to run off to your little half-elf boyfriend. Last night was your last freebie. From here on out you'll have to work a little harder for it," he said, utterly sick of her constant disregard for his affection. Fenneck watched as she forced herself to stand in spite of the pain in her legs. She stumbled over to her things laying against the wall. Fenneck rolled his eyes. "Fine. Run away," Fenneck said, done with trying to reason with her. "You clearly don't know how to do anything else." Natalya suddenly stopped dead with her back to him. After a few moments she slowly turned to look at him. "Well then. Since you seem to think you know everything, what would you do if you were me?" she asked him, meeting his gaze. Fenneck suddenly realized what Erikur meant. They were both up here for the same reason, after all. He sighed with understanding. "I would fight for my people. I would do what I could feasibly do that would help the most individuals." He looked down and bit his lip. "I learned long ago that running away doesn't fix anything." Natalya hesitated. Her eyes told him that she didn't want him to be right. Clearly whatever had happened to her had dissuaded her from her ridiculous plan to kill Pufuktin. Fenneck huffed at her resistance. "You know there are other solutions to problems than taking someone's life... even your own." He slowly stood up and walked toward her. "Stay here," he said, realizing Baegla might actually be onto something. "Help me navigate these mountains and map out this land. There are refugees, your people, out here trying to escape the tyranny of Lenisily and we have a chance to help them. To offer them new lives and homes in Glitterfjell." She shook her head at him. "You just want me to stay because I'm your soulmate. If this thiramin bullshit didn't exist you wouldn't give two fucks about what happens to me." He sighed heavily and frowned, rubbing his forehead. She kept going despite his exasperation. "You know I'm right. All I have done since I met you is disappoint you. I ruined this thing you've dreamed about your whole life. You shouldn't want to be with me," Natalya said desperately. Fenneck nodded. "No, I don't," he agreed with her. "You aren't what I wanted. Not at all." He looked up into her dark green eyes and smiled at their ironic likeness to Erikur's. "I wanted easy. I wanted simple." He started pacing, realizing the truth in what Erikur was trying to get through to him all these years. "But the gods don't tend to give us what we want. If they did, the world would be a pretty crummy place." He met her gaze again and looked her sternly in the eyes. "No, they give us what we need. I needed your perspective, Natalya. I needed your distrust. I needed to be disappointed. I needed to be hurt the way you hurt me. I needed you." He softened his tone at his own understanding as he spoke these things aloud. "I need you, Natalya. I may not want you yet or even like you. You're incredibly difficult to understand, not to mention frustrating and confusing. You are cynical and morbid and quite frankly, you scare the hell out of me. Your past both terrifies and intimidates me." He started laughing at the absurdity of it all. "When you left I wept for two days straight. Not because I missed you, no. But because I felt like the gods had played a cruel, evil trick on me in making you my thiramin." Natalya looked taken off guard by this. He shook his head and sighed. "The gods are clearly not finished here, Natalya," he assured her, starting to understand thiramin a little more clearly. "Stay with me," he begged her. "We can figure this out. Together." He reached out a hand toward her. "What other choice do you have?" His voice was a bit desperate. He couldn't afford for them to miss this second chance. Natalya's gaze was fierce and Fenneck could tell she was deliberating all of this cautiously. Fenneck sighed and dropped his hand. He walked away and sat down to cut his fruit. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Natalya slowly took her pack off and stumbled back over to where she had been laying. She struggled to sit from the pain in her muscles but Fenneck wasn't going to help her. He was tired of reaching out to her. They sat in silence until Fenneck finally finished chopping up the apples and oranges. He fixed them both a plate and gently nudged one over to Natalya. She looked surprised and quietly thanked him. He nodded back and they ate in silence. He was annoyed by her prideful indignation. Her stubbornness to accept their situation. He noticed she seemed very upset by his behavior and Fenneck couldn't help but feel justified. As much as he believed Erikur may have had a point, he was angry with her. She had hurt him very deeply by leaving. Besides, Erikur made another good point. Maybe she wasn't the only one who needed a friend. Not a lover. He decided to keep his distance from her, emotionally. To try and just get to know her instead. All they had done in Flottenheim was eat and go to shows together. They hadn't really opened up about their pasts. They had kept conversations simple and mostly talked about trivial subjects. Except for that last night together. They sat in silence that day. Fenneck tried to busy himself with mundane tasks and Natalya rested to get her health back in order. The air was tense between them but there was an understanding. As night fell, Fenneck came over and sat next to Natalya, not close enough to touch but enough to feel like they had not abandoned each other. Over the next few weeks they learned to work together as they ventured deeper into the mountains. Some days were hard, full of bickering and dangerous paths. Some days they laughed and enjoyed the wondrous nature around them. At night, no matter how hard the day may have been they always rested next to each other. A few nights they even leaned against each other, never as intimately as they had in Flottenheim, but close enough to comfort each other against the cold winds. The best days were when they would run into a dangerous troll or a pack of ice wolves. Fenneck loved fighting alongside Natalya. They worked well together and always seemed to make a challenge out of it. Fenneck loved admiring her quick reflexes with a blade. She always moved so gracefully. It was insanely attractive to watch her flip through the air or see her casually leap down into a ravine. Sometimes they would fence together to pass the time. She was a worthy opponent and Fenneck enjoyed watching her dainty footwork. They would often spend hours sketching and marking maps. It was a lot of work but Fenneck quite enjoyed the challenges it presented. It reminded him of sewing a complicated corset, tedious at times, but always rewarding. He felt at home in the mountains. Natalya was a good companion. He enjoyed her company and presence. She was always reserved but every now and then she would surprise him with a clever joke or sudden outburst of anger at a game of dragonchess, which she almost always lost. He was starting to like her, but he worked hard to keep his distance. He found it odd that he was okay with not being too physical with her. He was never like that with Erikur. They never knew how not to be physical with each other in their everyday lives. With her it was starting to come easy. Perhaps sixty years really had taken a toll on him.