The Swampfoot Drinking Hole
The citizens of Gan River Fort, if they can be called such, don't go in for titles much. If they care to name something they usually call it what it is. Forts are just forts, village idiots are always called Dave, and pubs are named for what they're known for. So when it came to naming a pub where swamp foot wasn't just a name for a drink (It's actually called Swamp Broth and is made from potcheen, mixed with mud, and a dash of mint for flavour) there was only one option. It didn't matter that the owner wanted to name it in honour of their donkey and even had a life-sized statue made of the loyal beast hoisted onto the roof, there was no way anyone was going to call it that. Swampfoot was what the regulars got, so that was what they called it.
The floor of the Swampfoot Drinking Hole was once above the water and mostly level, but only for a short while. As soon as Nobbie handed his life savings over and bid the old owner fair well, it started to sink. It waited until he was standing on the veranda, and feeling proud for making something of himself (defying his father's predictions), before giving into its destiny and slipping under the muddy waters of the Gan. Nobbie did his best to hold back the river with his hat, but it was futile, his pub was underwater, at least the first foot or so.
Against all odds, he managed to arrest its descent into the murky depths and throw an opening party the likes of which the fort had never seen, nor has it since, despite many trying to imitate Nobbie's success.
For those interested in engineering and such, Nobbie saved his pub by setting it afloat. Anything that bobbed within reach he shoved under the floorboards, flotsam, jetsom, dead bodies, straw, mud (It should be noted that the writer isn't a scientist and never claimed to be one), jam jars with the lids screwed on, whatever he could he grabbed and shoved it underneath. Many thought he was mad, but it worked. Nobbie's Ass was saved.Before you go planning your night out at the Swampfoot Drinking Hole, you should reconsider, and not just because the drinks are likely to make you blind and incapable of speech, but because the locals are a tad unfriendly. Many a stranger hoping to become a regular have found themselves thrown out the window and into the river. If they manage to swim against the powerful current and not get swept into the marsh, they have a choice: either try again or patronise one of the many equally dire pubs in the fort. Most walk away and never return, but a few foolhardy folk splash their way back to the bar,slam a penny on the bar, and demand a swampfoot. Those join the ranks of the swampfeet never to be seen again, until closing time, or when they have to go to work, or home to their families. It's rumoured that a thief once stashed their loot under the floorboards intending to retrieve it only for the pub to sink before they could. That and their untimely death meant that the hoard has gone untouched ever since. The story is passed around and occasionly someone grows brave enough, or drunk enough, to dive under the deck and go in search of the legendary loot. The water is murky and infested with leeches so most soon give up and return to the pub, where Nobbie rewards them with a drink and a penny for every jar of leeches he collects from them. Those that delve deeper risk running into the oversized water snake that has set up home in the soft mud.
Purpose / Function
To serve alcohol and farm leeches.
Defenses
The pub's unhygienic location is its best defence as few will enter willingly, lest they fall prey to the leeches. Unlike the fort's other drinking dens, the Swampfoot doesn't have to worry about drunken soldiers or the red priests causing trouble, since both groups avoid the area. As such, the pub has become a haven for those with a gripe against the authorities. If the citizens of Gan River Fort ever rise up, it will be the Swampfeet at the fore, out of their gourds on swamp broth and armed with their jars of leeches.
by Dalle-3
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