Session 31: Eight-Legged Freak
General Summary
My name is Zakina Kociak and this is the story of how me and my friends died. I’m just kidding, nobody died. Or did they? So we open this session up with Xaren storming through the tunnels of the Underdark after laying Virhea’s shit out because in case anyone forgot, she kind of blew up a cavern ceiling and destroyed an entire drow city all to prove herself to an evil god. Velevana calls out to him during his moment, talking about how we’re all dying right at that very moment and then Elathera’s voice calls through his mind asking him where he’s at and letting him know Industria made breakfast for everybody.
It was a valiant effort, Velevana, but you fell short. I’m watching outside of camp for him like a grandmother waiting in the front door for her grandchildren and once he’s back, we all have a lovely breakfast like the dysfunctional family we are and then head out. We’re not sure what the next course of action is, to be honest, so we decide to continue our campaign of terror in the next drow city up until we’re pulled into another plane of existence. It’s a spooky forest and me and Virhea can feel that there’s something watching us from behind the trees that stretch on and on.
We keep going until we reach a swamp and when that swamp gives birth to a bunch of hungry undead, we decide to nope the fuck on out of there. As we run, the plane shifts into an open field of golden grains at night. There’s a spire off in the distance and with no other way to go, we make our way there. Virhea and Tenin can’t seem to figure it out though and as we all get closer, the spire appears to move further away from them. Frustrated, they take off into a sprint before they hit the Patented Invisible Wall (courtesy of Bethesda, I bet) and even more frustrated, Tenin punches it and the spire is suddenly visible to them. He awkwardly turns to Virhea to let her know that there is indeed a spire there, so she punches it too.
We head in to find out the spire is bigger on the inside and I’m not gonna put a Doctor Whomst-the-fuck reference here because fuck that guy. Anyways, it’s a nice, sprawling dungeon full of cells and chains and torture instruments. All you could need in one single place, ya’ know? So we keep going and the corridor seems to stretch on forever until we make a turn and we’re on the ceiling now. Eventually, the path crumbles away into nothingness, so Industria, Tenin, and Virhea throw themselves into the abyss and they’re brought to a closed off room. Separated from the rest of us. Until Elathera simply teleports us there by swapping places with Tenin. We’re reunited! But hey…where’s Tenin?
He’s plane shifted somewhere underground. All alone until he hears the sounds of heels clacking against stone and out steps Viene. Tenin mentions how he watched her die, but before the two can throw hands, Elathera transports Tenin back to us and Viene’s pissed. So we press on from the tiny room that confines us and keep going until our eyes befall a sight most…I don’t know? I really don’t. A nice, big ol’ lesbian drow orgy just in full swing right before our eyes. One of them tells us to come on in cuz the water’s fine, but our virgin eyes have seen too much, so we turn the other way.
With the concerning dripping of water that reminds Xaren of an awful vision he had, we have to double back to the literal Fuck Hole, but thankfully, the orgy is gone so we don’t have to push our way through writhing, sweaty bodies. But the dripping is continuing (Virhea please calm down, the orgy has passed) and a large body of water appears. And immediately, a crowd of undead crawl out. From one way comes Viene and the other way, Velevana in her first form. She appears as a drow woman with four arms so with that, we huddle around Xaren. Eventually we all disperse, Industria and Virhea going to take out Viene and her eidolon. I shadow step me and Xaren to the priority target and everybody else is spread out between stopping the horde and helping either squad.
It’s a long, hard fight, but Viene is eventually put down. The undead fall soon after, leaving Velevana. The problem is, she’s a literal fucking goddess, so taking her down is not that simple. But we’re all powerful too, so it’s practically a stalemate. Frustrated, I crack into the good ol’ box of summoning salts again and throw down the pink one. Out comes an incubus…one who is more than happy to help Velevana. But he misses his attack on me after she orders him to kill us and hits her instead. After getting berated by her, he opts to stand around uncomfortably and question his entire life up until this point.
Eventually we trigger her second form. She’s sobbing, but that soon fades to laughter as her body morphs into that of a giant, black spider; but her torso is still the same. The plane shifts to a cave again and we’re all thrust into the continuing stalemate. Another plane shift later, we’re in an ocean full of islands of ice. It’s here that we finally manage to break the stalemate. With some well executed moves and a lot of panicking, the odds are in our favor. Virhea makes some called shots on Velevana and takes out her legs, leaving her prone for Xaren to kick her ass right into the endless ocean.
But she’s still clinging on. So I hop onto her and finish her off, dropping into the cold ass ocean myself as she shrieks and her body dissipates. Sabella comes on down to make sure she stays dead and after the kill is confirmed and set in stone, Velevana’s personal plane of existence begins shaking and shifting out as all the souls she claimed burst forth to freedom. We all watch as they pass us by, thanking us and praising us before we decide to shift ourselves out and back to Florence.
We defeated an evil goddess, Xaren is free, and we all hug and cheer because it’s finally over. Cue the time skip as we’re picking back up a year later ingame.
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Report Date
02 May 2021
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