"Born from beautiful silk, the Heathranna was found in an old abandoned tower. — The Weird & Wonderful World
The Woven Wonder
Created by the mysterious weaver
Anemi Youthblood, the Heathranna transforms the wearer. However, it doesn't transform the wearer directly, merely settling a glamour over them, making any onlooker perceive them as the most beautiful person in the world.
The Heathranna has appeared in many instances over the years, usually in the possession of a royal member, and usually for the purpose of the grandest appearance in their life. Each appearance has brought different patterns and colours of the Heathranna, the only detail staying consistent is the shimmering silver thread that makes up the edges of the scarf.
Beauty or Curse
Each wearer of the Heathranna has found themselves entranced by the beauty given to them, even if it was illusory. While they give the item up willingly, as it is only ever loaned to them by the universe, the gift is yearned for once more, even after decades.
The person thought to impart the Heathranna onto the newest recipient has been described simply, a young woman, perhaps in her late teenage years, dressed simply as a messenger. The messenger, however, has not been seen for millennia, leaving the Heathranna hidden until it's recent uncovering in the
Tower of the Findels.
Mystique in Mirrors
One of the oddities about the Heathranna is that when the wearer looks into a mirror, specifically a mirror, while wearing it, their appearance is shown as they are to the world, not as they truly are. Why this effect is exclusive to mirrors and not glass reflections or pools of water is unknown.
The Heathranna, much like
Springleaf, is addictive. Its mere presence warps those who have been gifted the item, and through their yearning for it, once it leaves their possession, many have come to cause their own ruin. The gift is beautiful, fleeting, and intoxicating, much like an eclipse or the love of your life.
Thanks, Han! And thanks Forge Mom! The idea of an illusionary fabric is interesting, though the exact effect as outlined does raise some questions. As beauty is quite subjective (ask a dwarf versus an elf), it seem to suggest the fabric has some sort of ability of reading minds or preferences.
I would suggest you tell us what it is before you tell us what it does. At this point in the article, all the reader knows is that it is something out of silk that was found in a tower. Reading the rest of the article, it sounds more like it is a unique artefact in the world of which there is only one. I always advice starting articles (after a mood setting quote) with a short overview of sorts to let the reader know what it is that they are getting into. Is it a scarf? A kind of fabric? I'm assuming the weaver (and Springleaf) are meant to be links to articles not yet posted, but if not then the weaver could be worth including in the side panel. It reads a little odd here, when accounting for the next sentence. It transforms, but not really. The repetition of the use "transforms" might be what sticks out - if the change the second, it might work. You could probably nuke "However" and "merely" without losing much besides two words, or tweak it slightly. The "However" especially feels like filler: try reading the sentence with and without it, and see how you feel? The sentence is a touch long at 30 words and 3-4 separate ideas. It also raises some questions: what does it mean by "has appeared"? Does the heathranna come and go? Does it disappear and later reappear? I'd consider splitting the sentence at least. The repetition of "appearance" in close succession stands out. I'd consider tweaking this sentence a touch and maybe trim it a little bit. At 29 words, it is a little long. This also raises some questions. "Loaned to them by the universe" feels like the sort of thing that should be given some more attention, as it sounds pretty significant. Plus, people are jerks - has there really never been anyone who have attempted to keep it? Who do they even return it to? The idea of the addiction to illusionary beauty is very interesting, but feels underexplored. You mention it here and again later, but it would likely be an excellent part to expand upon should you feel the desire to do so. This feels a little out of place under this header: the beauty or curse title lead me to think that the addictive nature and effects of wearing it would be the subject explored. This is also another part that (like the "universe lends it to them") part that feels a lot more significant than the quick space it is given. Is she a goddess? Do people believe she is an avatar of beauty? She seems pretty important! At 37 words, this sentence is definitely a touch long. I'd consider tweaking and rewriting it a bit, maybe break it in 2. "While wearing it" could likely be cut, since you already say "when the wearer looks into a mirror" At this point, I'm still not entirely sure what the Heathranna is, other than some sort of clothing. The only inkling I have is the "silver thread at the edge of the scarf", but that is the only thing I can really grok about it's general "what-it-is"ness. Without being able to read what Springleaf is, I would have to guess it's some sort of narcotic plant. The comparison feels sort of weird, since the scarf doesn't really have anything to do with Springleaf. I think there's a way you could make it work, but the comparison would have to be more evocative or more of a metaphor. In my opinion, at least. This is another sentence that is a bit long, at 30 words and the density of ideas communicated. It also leaves some thing unclear - how does it interact with their willingness to give it up above? How do they cause their own ruin? How does it leave their possession? The idea of addictive illusion is very interesting and a great idea. I would be interesting to know more about it.Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.