Arrogant Azorius Attempt Arrest

The Ravnica World News - That's a FACT!

Yesterday the Azorius figured it was time to show how intolerant and oppressive they really can be. Up and coming performance artist Dalvna Lanik has been wowing audiences at Ablaze and The Old House for months now. Her performances take viewers right to the edge of horror and entertainment, but in a safe and fun way. This reporter was given a sneak peak of her latest artistic venture, and let me tell you it is really exciting and invigorating.
But even if you don't enjoy the performances found at those particular locales, you can appreciate that art and artists that create it need to be protected from the ignorant and conservative forces that try to suppress their right to express themselves.
Poor Dalvna did make a mistake, and used substances for her latest entertainment venture that were not entirely legal. Once she was made aware of her error, she tried to pay the fine and apologize. The Azorius were having none of it.
Instead of behaving like reasonable people, they decided to send a full force of arrestors to apprehend Dalvna and probably scramble her brains to make her "think correctly". Those of you familiar with the artist know that Dalvna is not a woman of immense stature, or wielder of powerful arcane forces. So why would the Azorius send a fully armored knight, a precognitive mage and four soldiers? Because they don't know a single thing about moderation.
But as we know, the Azorius have to be careful where they try to mete out their absurd justice. Because tromping into the Smelting Quarter full of arrogant confidence does not protect you from a full blown assault from goblin gangs. As previously reported , goblins gang crime is on the rise thanks to the bumbling Boros letting a crime lord escape. So it comes as no surprise when the Azorius arresting party was ambushed and absolutely savaged by tiny little goblins.
A local witness filled us in on the details. "Proud as anything they was marching down the street. Then next thing you now, a bucket of nasty slop comes down from the roof on the mage. She starts shrieking about poop in her hair, and then the flaming arrows start coming down. I tell you, those Azorius had no idea what to do. The soldiers, they tried to get the mage to safety, but kept slipping on the crap being dumped down from the roof. The knight ran into the building, trying to catch 'em. But they rigged the door, and when he opened it, the door fried the guy. Turns out it was rigged to the Izzet regulator in the basement."
Pelted with arrows and fecal matter, the Azorius had to beat a hasty retreat, cursing the goblin ambush. Luckily, Dalvna has been able to move her studio to a more secure location. "I am willing to pay a fine. I made a mistake, and didn't want to hurt anyone who didn't ask for it. But the Azorius aren't listening."
At this time Dalvna is planning a special event in a surprise location. But those in know will be able to find out how to catch it. And believe me reader, you don't want to miss it. And if the Azorius do try to stop freedom of expression in this fair city, they will be met with the protests of the people, and realize just how crap headed they are actually being.

- Precinct Four Editor