Language of bullsh*t

"This language is total bullsh*t, literally!"

-The commander of Servants of Ruler

The language of bullsh*t was basically code language that uses herbivorous animal, mostly horse and ox, excrement and in some instances urine as form of communication. It was created under the time of terror and oppression. The people of Land of the Ruler were under tight scrutiny of Servants of Ruler during Dark years. People feared them as any misconduct they detected might lead to serious or even fatal consequences. Because people couldn't communicate freely under the eyes of Servants of Ruler, many forms of code languages were created during the period, but language of bullsh*t was the one that was the most long lived and widespread, as it was the most difficult one to be discovered.

Language of bullsh*t originated, when the people noticed that the excrement of horses and oxen that Servants of Ruler used for transportation was usually different from excrement of common people's horses and oxen. This was because at the time the people and animals belonging to Servants of Ruler had better standard of living and thus nutrition. This notion was first used for tracking down which way the forces of Servants of Ruler were traveling and so people could choose safer routes for traveling. Later it was invented that messages could be passed by adding to the feed of animal things that either goes through digestive tract or at least leave traces to excrement. Little by little the practice spread wider and the messages became more specific and sophisticated.

Problems with the language

The biggest problem with the language was that there was no way to get messages through fast and accurately with this method as it takes from one day to several days for food to pass through digestive track of animal like horse or ox. Also, for the message to reach longer distances the animal's feed must stay consistent with the message through the travelling, so there needs to be someone knowing the message that feeds the animal or the feed needs to be manipulated beforehand. Most often the task of taking care of the animals of Servant of Ruler were given to common people as it was thought to be inferior job not suitable for the dignity of Servants of Ruler, so getting the message to the feed of animal was often not the problem. However, there were people among Servants of Ruler that would allow no-one else to take care of their precious horse etc. Those were the people causing gaps to the otherwise elegant system.

There was also no way of being sure that the animal would not eat something from nature that would mess the original message. Inaccurate messages were quite common and they were easily carried on as the next feeder of animal often checked the last message and kept it going, if there were no new message to be passed on or clear evidence that the original message wasn't valid.

Adding things to the feed of the animal was not always completely harmless to the animal. The practice of conveying messages this way caused countless deaths of animals. The most common detrimental effect of the practice was intestinal obstruction as the indigestible material clustered to intestine. There was no truly effective treatment for the condition and it almost always lead to death of the animal. Sharp indigestible materials also caused deaths of many animals due the gastrointestinal perforation. The gas colic was also common condition, since it can be the result of rapid change in animal's feed or feeding animal with too strong feed. This condition was not as lethal to the animal as intestine obstruction or gastrointestinal perforation, as it could have been treated. There was also lots of cases with poisonings as animals were fed with either completely unsuitable materials or with too much material that would have been harmless in smaller amounts.

"It is actually ridiculous, how those farmers managed to convince the officials that feeding all this nonsense to animals was completely normal or even desirable. The officials must had no clue at all what animals should eat."

-Teagan Divyn , Professor of agriculture

Most common things used as message

After the standard of living with common people rose the difference between the excrement of animals became less evident and the practice to add small bone pieces to the feed for marking the animals that were associated with Servants of Ruler. The small stones were commonly used to tell where the animal was coming from with both the animals of common people and Servants of Ruler. The type, form and mixture of stones were all the factors that were used to differentiate the areas.

Easily differentiable grains as whole were commonly used to tell something about the Servant of Ruler whom the animal was associated with or with common people's animal the area they were coming from. The excrement and urine coloring ingredients were used to convey less frequently used messages. The black, red and white tints were most commonly used as they were easily achieved. Red tint became from beetroot, black tint most often from coal and sometimes from blueberries, and the white tint from fine bone or eggshell meal. Unlike the other methods of messaging the coloring was also used with animals on pastures, since it is clearly visible and rare to happen naturally with pasturing animals.

In larger settlements the distinctive smell differences of animal's urine and excrement were also used for conveying messages. The method was harder to manage, but far more effective as the scent travels through air and access faster and lot more people than visual cues ever can.

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There were also many more things that were used as messages in excrement than listed above, but those were the most common and consistent things in the language. The language of bullsh*t had also more or less local and temporal variation in the meanings of things and the things that were used. To some degree the language of bullsh*t was also used as a form of personal messaging between people living far away.

Guide for dictionary

This dictionary contains translations to some of the most commonly used things in horse and ox excrement and the colors that were used with pasturing animals.
Recommended search words for dictionary:

• bone (15 results)
• no bone (8 results)
• corn (2 results)
• oats (2 results)
• wheat (2 results)
• black (3 results)
• red (3 results)
• white (3 results)
• pasture (3 results)

Dictionary

18 Words.