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Cursed Justice

The House of Horus has kept up a facade of being good and kind, though we all know the truth behind that priest's smile. His mind is as weak as his body. He let himself succumb to his greed. A curse not given from birth but of his own accord. Let us show him what a real curse looks like. -Mirale Yl'vo
  Cursed Justice is a scroll with a story made by the leaders of the Cursed crusaders. The quote above is one of the first big statement that the Cursed Crusaders use in this scroll. This phrase and many others are used to ignite a fire within the members of the Cursed Crusaders to fight against the House of Horus. Members who have proven their trust receive a scroll. The scrolls are made out of papyrus. This makes it hard to adjust and could very easily be used against them.   The meetings of the Cursed Crusaders usually start with either one of these empowering quotes to unite the people, or they read a chapter of the story and talk about how crucial their objective is.

Purpose

This document was created to futher instill the cause of the Cursed Crusaders into their followers. This is done in two ways. First it makes Aliaf Tuall, the head priest, out as a greedy selfish monster who would use anything to satisfy his greed. Second it makes the Cursed Crusader a hero within the story. The one that sees righteousness and returns triumphant even in the face of a great evil.

Document Structure

Clauses

At the start of the story Mirale comes from a far off farmers family, that is being milked to death by Aliaf Tuall for ailments and other services. She blames this rotten curse for not having the power to do anything about this unjust world.

The story goes on, revealing that she found a hidden strength within the curse. Now she is far more powerful than any regular human.

The third fase she walks the streets Abarnis the town where Aliaf resides. The town is split by a huge canyon. Each time the Tiukeshians need to purchase medicine, they need to travel the canyon twice just to stay alive and come home to their families. Everybody is miserable on the side of the Tiukeshians and the House of Horus is having the time of their life everytime, a Tiukeshians comes begging for the ailments. She needs to gather allies in secret for aliaf abuses the power of the church to gather intel on everyone and everything within the town. Gathering allies alone was rough, however after the first couple joined it started to become easier. In small groups she taught her allies how to use the curse to make them stronger. Making each one of them more powerful than ever been before.

In the final act Aliaf and his corrupted priests are defeated. In Aliaf's final moment he is reaching for his wealth, trying to bargain with Mirale that is she let him live they can be wealthy together. Mirale however is too morally superior, she sees right through Aliaf's lies and makes an end to it.
Type
Text, Literary (Novel/Poetry)
Medium
Papyrus
Authors

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Comments

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Jul 9, 2020 00:05 by Michael Holt

Great summary of the document and how it's used! Well done!

My Summer Camp 2021 Hub and Article List
Jul 9, 2020 00:07 by Michael Holt

I meant to add I really liked how you summarized the contents and explained the way the contents were referenced, as well as how the scrolls were handed out.

My Summer Camp 2021 Hub and Article List
Jul 9, 2020 08:36

Oh thank you! I spend a lot of time especially on the summary so I am glad that it has come out well :D

Jul 9, 2020 02:33

I was a bit confused when I read this article initially as it wasn't super clear to me what 'Cursed Justice' was at first. I'd suggest adding something along the lines of, "The scroll known as 'Cursed Justice' tells the story of..." or something similar. Keep it up!

Jul 9, 2020 08:38

Yeah now that I reread it, I should have been more clear about that. Thank you for the feedback :D

Jul 9, 2020 11:45 by AS Lindsey (Pan)

The article itself could do with with a little proof read. Love the flavour though - I want to know what 'strength' Mirale found in her curse and how she used it!

Jul 9, 2020 20:42

Thank you for reading it and I was wondering if you could be a little bit more specific about the proof reading. Is it the sentence structure, choice of words or something else?

Jul 9, 2020 20:52 by AS Lindsey (Pan)

Just a couple of typos, like 'statement' should be 'statements' in the second sentence, and I assume 'third fase' should be 'third phase' in the actual document itself?

Jul 10, 2020 06:33

Oh I am happy to hear the the sentence structure is fine, however I must have overlooked those typos thank you for your reply :D

Jul 9, 2020 22:58 by Jacob Billings

When using quotes, don't forget there is a way to add an actual author section. I can't say how you do it in WYSIWYG, but you can add a | followed by the name or origin when writing BBCode.   It's a well written article as well, including a nice balance of information. I would suggest adding some sections of the actual document to the content section so that there is a sample in the sidebar.

Jul 10, 2020 06:36

Oh I wasn't sure that there was a way with bbcode, but I will later look into that. Thank you for the compliment and good suggestion :D

Jul 10, 2020 11:17

While the content is interesting, the article needs a lot of editing and proof-reading to allow the content to shine.   There are a few typos and several sentences are not structured in a way that makes them easy to read (as well as paragraphs). I thoroughly suggest using a word processing software like Word, which will highlight both typos and sentences with weird structures. And/or, using something like Grammarly, which may further enhance readability. Even small changes can do a lot to increase readability.   For example:

First it makes Aliaf Tuall, the head priest, out as a greedy selfish monster who would use anything to satisfy his greed.
versus
First, it presents Aliaf Tuall, the head priest, as a greedy, selfish monster who would do anything to satisfy his greed.
  Another example:
She needs to gather allies in secret for aliaf abuses the power of the church to gather intel on everyone and everything within the town.
versus
Mirale needs to find allies in secret; Aliaf is known to abuse the power of the church to gather intel on everyone and everything within the town.
  Finally, I'd suggest to either link to an article about the curse you are talking about (if it already exists) and if not, to add in in a section before or after the sidebar's content panel. For a basic run-down of the different sections of a WA article, check out this article.

Jul 11, 2020 20:21

The sentences that you have written flow indeed quite a bit better than mine and I should definitely look into first checking with word or another software. I have writen the "curse" article which is the "condition" article of summer camp however I think I have completely forgotten to add that as a referenced link. Thank you for reading and taking the time to give this detailed feedback :D