An eventful weekend transpired in the Gore-House underbelly as a new
Rakdos Wrestling Entertainment World Heavyweight Champion was crowned as a result of a 4 way Hell in a Cell match. The contestants included the likes of the charismatic heel
Umber-Hulk Hogan, the high-flying masked Grimalkin
Rey Meowsterio, the no-nonsense
Myconid Stone Toad Steve Austin, and the king of kings himself, "The Game" Triple W. There were rumors of a cameo appearance by Goldberg, the golden warforged wrestler, but claims from the Simic indicated he was still undergoing repairs to his left knee coupling before the fight, and would be unable to participate.
What started out as a normal evening of entertainment for RWE fans, each superstar cut a dazzling promo appealing to the crowds' disposition towards them, with Rey Meowsterio notably calling the fans "a litterbox", to their dismay. Shortly following up the masked luchadore was the charismatic Umber-Hulk Hogan, leaning into disrupting the crowd with insults and showing off his flashy muscular form for all to admire. With the crowd riled up, "The Game" Triple W made his entrance and reminded the competitors why he was King of Kings, and vowed to hoist the belt at the end of the night. He was interrupted with the glass-shattering music of Stone Toad Steve Austin, the Golgari Rattlestake, who joined the contestants in the ring and got the crowd on his side with his famous "What?" chants and beer chugging.
With the dazzling promos out of the way, the celebrity referee, the MIZzet, held a contract signing stipulating the rules (or lack thereof) for the Hell in a Cell match that was to occur that night. In true RWE fashion, negotiations were short, and combat quickly ensued, causing security to intervene to protect the superstars before their big fight to end the night.
As the cell dropped down over the ring, the superstars wasted little time going at each other, all of them desparate to gain the coveted RWE Heavyweight Championship. Triple W quickly took over the match, using his size and brute force to gain the attention of all of the superstars in the ring. Before long, Triple W found himself surrounded and battered by the RWE superstar talent. In a desparate attempt, Rey Meowsterio used his acrobatics to escape the dangerous situation, using his agility to gain the upper hand over his opponents. Stone Toad began to tee off with Triple W, ultimately forcing him to release a spore that would cause Triple W to see Stone Toad as a friend, and the two would take on the rest of the talent in the ring. Umber-Hulk Hogan made short work of Triple W, dropping him down and beginning to engage Rey Meowsterio, the two locked into gruesome combat. As the two fought each other and Stone Toad taunted at the other end of the ring,
The Thunderdome experienced a power outage, only for
The Undercity Taker to appear in the ring, catching the fear and attention of all in attendance. Triple W had been crucified to the cage itself, and it was every man for themselves against the Dead Man.
Through a gruesome match, of knockout blows and finishers, all seem lost when the Underdaker double-choke slammed Umber Hulk Hogan and Rey Meowsterio, putting them out cold. Rey Meowsterio was thrown out of the ring, and Umber-Hulk Hogan was surely out for the count when The Undercity Taker went for the pin.
However, Stone Toad was not finished, and launched himself towards the Undercity Taker to break the pin, and keep the action going. After a teetering battle, Umber Hulk Hogan would finally drop the Undertaker, leaving him as the only standing contestant against Stone Toad Steve Austin. But, in a twist of events, the Undertaker would get up, dropping Umber Hulk Hogan. Stone Toad would take advantage, and clothesline the Undercity Taker out of the ring, and begin to pin Umber Hulk Hogan for the win. Rey Meowsterio would struggle to get up, and ultimately Stone Toad Steve Austin would get the 3-count over the charismatic Hogan, crowning Stone Toad the RWE Heavyweight Champion.
In other news, the Boros have cracked down on the illegal drug trade in Ravnica that has been growing since the collapse of
Sawtooth Prison. With an increased amount of drug arrests relating to elves ear, a popular drug choice for many Ravnicans, the Boros have issued a proclamation detaining their plans to hit the drug trade hard and fast to clean up the streets we all live in.
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