Muerkin
Variably sized spheroids that never seem to get larger than three inches or so in diameter, these happy-go-lucky anomalies are laugh-a-minute pranksters, even if it seems entirely random. Their nature is pure joyful entropy. It was the mathemeticians at The Bardic College Campus who figured out that, mathematically, Mu=kblnΩ, where Mu is Muerkins, kb is the Boltzman constant, ln is the natural logarithm, and Ω is the number of microscopic configurations possible for the nanites. This, in essence, means they do not conform to any of the known laws of physics, or even intelligible mathematics, apparently. Once they start bouncing, their kinetic energy does not mitigate until it is interrupted, and they make barely audible "whoop!" and "wahoo!" sounds as they frolic and bounce around as hard as they can for as long as they can. They are soft and velvety smooth, causing no bruise or mark even if one hits a body quite hard. When held in the hand they seem to vibrate ceaselessly. They are cute, and fuzzy, and fun, and can be deadly. Their reproductive cycle is unique, in that it is observation based. When an intelligent being beholds a Muerkin, it activates a cloning protocol within the cute little fucker that does not fire off until the beholder looks away. When next they look back, there will be double the number of Muerkins. Put one in a bag? There will be two the next time that bag is opened. Then four, then eight, and so forth, until they fill the space they are in. Once observed, a Muerkin will begin to deteriorate, finally dispersing into a sweet smelling mist in 1d6 days.
Basic Information
Anatomy
The Muerkin resemble a featureless bean bag filled with some type of firm, elastic gel. They have no noticeable skeletal structure, cannot be cut open and have no limbs.
Biological Traits
No matter how much the wonderful little bastards are studied at The Bardic College Campus, they have never been seen to either gain or lose mass without either splitting apart or melding together like a lava lamp on a gnomish roller coaster.
Genetics and Reproduction
They seem to only reproduce in a very specific manner, and it all relies on whether or not they are being perceived. Once you look away from them, when you look back, they have doubled in number. This does in fact make them very dangerous. The thought has been described as being "smothered to death by the cutest sounding crowd ever."
Growth Rate & Stages
Thehy are born at the same size as the original parent.
Ecology and Habitats
They seem to be equally happy anywhere. Temperatures do not seem to affect them, other people's bad moods just make them seem happier, and they seem to find shelter in the strangest of places.
Behaviour
For some reason as yet unfathomable, even by the greatest of minds at the world famous bastion of knowledge called The Bardic College Campus, these cute and fuzzy buddies are the Merry Pranksters of all. They will fill one's office, or bounce from one's forehead, or empty one's pack of anything but themselves...and they will laugh in their high ptched little "whoop!"s and "wahoo!"s. Playing golf with any number of these fuzzballs can be quite trying.
Additional Information
Social Structure
None has been reliably observed at The Bardic College Campus.
Facial characteristics
They have no face that anyone has been able to find, begging the question: where do all the happy noises come from?
Geographic Origin and Distribution
Unknown, but it is assumed they are the world around.
Average Intelligence
It is unknown if they possess some sort of intelligence, or if they are so inherently chaotic that all possibilities are here represented.
Perception and Sensory Capabilities
They seem palpably aware of everything in their vicinity, and their relative place within that space. It is thought they can perceive sound and light as simple electromagnetic input.
Symbiotic and Parasitic organisms
It seems as if every species is somehow symbiotic with them. No known parasites have been found.
Scientific Name
Hirsutensis Cutentilsis Whoopsie Woo
Origin/Ancestry
The Pleiades Arcs/Vekhet Spheres
Lifespan
Another unknown.
Conservation Status
This is perhaps the most chaotic species on the planet.
Average Height
Ranging from a half an inch across, to around three inches across.
Average Weight
One eighth of a pound.
Average Length
About the same as the height, though not exactly.
Average Physique
They are very small and fuzzy, and make cute noises when someone cuddles with them.
Body Tint, Colouring and Marking
Their coloring is all over the palette, with a very pastel bias.
Geographic Distribution
Discovered by
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