"Why wake for customers that won't come? I'll open my eyes when money's on the table."— Naurth
No one knows how she has retained her youth and life after over a hundred years at the bar. She claims to have a special drink she makes that keeps her youthful, but none of her employees have ever seen this, and many
Tamdian Alchemists come to the bar to seek out her secret to eternal youth to no avail.
Much of the draw the Kooky Croaker is its founder, owner, and bartender Naurth, who gives strange advice to those that come to her. Her advice is a riddle, one that gives no answers yet leaves no questions.
The Structure
Exterior
A brick structure soaked in beer and piss, the Kooky Croaker is a one-story building that is nestled within a small alleyway, which makes it a central location in the Red Light District, where being hidden is being seen clearly.
The outside of the building is covered in graffiti, as Naurth holds a contest for all local kids who do graffiti art up to age 18. She lets them make designs and allows people to vote on which mural should decorate the Kooky Croaker. Often they are images of silly frogs, though sometimes they are more beautiful pieces, other times grotesque depictions of horrible crimes.
Interior
The floor of the building is a soft, crimson carpet that is constantly dirtied by all kinds of liquids, from spilt wine to spilt blood. Naurth sometimes cleans it, but often one can find she has missed a spot or three.
The bar is a thick mahogany wood with a laminate countertop behind it to make drinks. Carved into the bar are vague threats and warnings of a great evil, which Naurth laughs away as,
"My customers find sobriety to be the greatest evil of all, so I ward it away with drink and merriment. When you leave my care, you fall into evil's clutches, so drink another round! There's plenty to spare and time enough to revel."— Naurth
Hospitality
The Kooky Croaker is a welcoming place where customers are assaulted upon entering. There is a bouncer who lets most people in, but he's just a test, as the real bouncer waits inside to pick on customers he finds to be easy pickings. Anyone who he perceives as weak or anyone he thinks might have information valuable for Naurth to know.
Patrons are asked to cut their palms when entering, to swear not to let Naurth's secrets out of the bar. To this day, no one even knows what secrets she asks them to hide, as none have found them. Some question if this is a curse of cutting their palms, if she is that good at hiding, or if she is lying about hiding anything. Still, anyone that does not cut their palms is not allowed in.
Drinks
The drinks served at the Kooky Croaker are said to be utterly delectable. Each is mixed with something special that even the bartenders are asked to not look into, and Naurth says of this:
"A secret is mighty delicious. What you don't know tastes far better than anything you could ever comprehend. Let my ingredients stay secret and enjoy their flavor. That's the way to love life... to never look further into it than is required of you."— Naurth
g'Doobh by AnthraxSurprise
The Croaker
The thing that few look into of the Kooky Croaker is its newest employee, who was hired immediately on looks alone. An Anuran man who had moved to Zephys to attend the
Magic College, g'Doobh was in search of money and thus took on two part-time jobs. His first was at the
Silent Crumbs Cafe, and his second at the Kooky Croaker.
Naurth liked his spirit and was willing to take him in. She found that the boy was the Poison Mage and thus was an alchemist who was good at mixing. She made him the face of the bar, though he does like to keep to the shadows and not show his face. Naurth believes this to be because he's innocent and doesn't want to be caught up in the troubles of the Red Light District.
In truth, g'Doobh was sent by
Grand Wizard Ardar Tilrak to spy on the place, as a hub of criminal activity, and learn its secrets. g'Doobh is meant to infiltrate the trust of Naurth and her employees and be a watchful eye on the crimes coming from the Red Light District.
Comments