Lorakaen's feelings afterwards are unclear and have not been recorded in the historical record.
Structure
The text is of considerable length, which is often owed to the fact that Lorakaen was unsure if she would ever see these people again, and wished to sufficiently say goodbye.
Everything below is the letter itself, known as "Under the Same Sky."
The Letter
I hope earnestly that this letter finds you in good health. I don't know what I’d do if it didn’t.
I’m sorry, to all of you, that I didn’t have the strength to tell you all in person, and that I’ve left so soon. I thought I’d have been able to hold out longer than I had. I’m sorry, I’m truly, truly sorry
With everything that’s happened recently, everything that we’ve all seen and experienced, I would’ve loved to continue to be there with you all. But with what I’ve seen, and what I’ve learned I’m afraid that I can’t. In seeing the truth of my childhood, my suppressed memories with my own eyes yet again, I saw the truth for what it was. My mother is out there working under the world court as one of their so-called “peacekeepers”; the last I’ve seen of her she delivered the final blow onto the goblin matriarch, Sullore. If I can, I want to do what is right, what I feel is right. I need to find her, and I need to stop her. Yet even knowing what I know now something doesn’t quite feel right, what I need most is to understand, and in time, I will. In time, I’ll dare to dream that I can help her.
I was given a compass and was told to follow it when the time was right, by my father, a man whose memories have been taken or altered to a degree that I am not yet aware of, whose words I wish I had understood earlier. He would always tell me that there was more outside of these walls, of the house that I’d lived in for all of 19 years, more than just the world cell that consumed my view in the window I’d always gaze through. If only I’d understood what he meant sooner, that there were things outside of the books I read, out of the propaganda that I was fed. That there wasn’t just a world full of hatred awaiting me, that I wasn’t just some monster the world court had aided in creating when they failed to contain someone they deemed to be a monster, that there were people out there that I could come to care for, that I could come to love. And it’s for those very people that I promise to come back alive, like the boomerangs that I now wield, guaranteed to return to their exact position.
Had it not been for all of you, I would likely have succumbed to that despair long ago. I would have become a spite driven person who condoned needless killing, pushing the agenda that the world was my enemy, and not trusting the words of anyone who’d claim otherwise. That fear was all I had known. I’d have become the very weapon that the world court and perhaps even my mother had wanted me to be, hopeless and desolate, grasping at straws to rid the world of the very propaganda that condemned me by any means necessary, not caring about a world that didn’t seem to care for me under the guise that I’d be helping people that did. Calmed only by the grand wizard’s requiem, a manifestation of so much pain. I’m saying this now so that in case I am unable to keep my promise, I’ll at least have been able to tell you. Thank you, for preventing me from being consumed by that bleak view.
Perhaps then If I’d stayed I’d have been happier there in that delusion for however long it would have lasted me, ignorant, and blissfully unaware of all I’d missed. I’ve come to learn that in some way, the life I’ve led has been a lie. Being here, I’ve been taught to trust in spite of all of the distrust I hold, but equally to distrust what I’d known.
These peacekeepers, or so they called them, bring anything but peace. Those alongside my mother were given stands, and all of which worked as the world court’s dogs to fulfill their warped sense of justice by whatever means they deemed fit, for what, I don’t know. If things hadn’t changed, they intended for me to become one of them, a peacekeeper and living weapon, alongside Yilkin, Linfire, and even Ogonn.
I don’t know what they do to those they are able to induct to become their puppets one way or another. I don’t know what strings they pull, what heartstrings they are able to tug at to rigidly hold people in their control. Whatever it is, they must have done something to her. If what Klaus told me was true, that she was just like I am now, then I refuse to believe that my mother would join forces with those *things*.
All that I’ve learned is but a tug on the curtain that blinds me, a glimpse, but not fully revealed. I intend to cast this sheet from my eyes myself, as no one else will. I will tear it all away. All that I’ve learned is that this veil cast over my eyes is thicker than I could've ever imagined. This anxiety… if it means I’ll garner answers from it then I’d be willing to do it all again, but I won’t put anyone else at risk.
Despite all of this, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.
If I stay as I am, this paranoia will consume me. I must act before then. I must race against it. Against time, against my mind, against her. I can’t tell you where I’m going, for even I don’t know. I’m following the only lead I have. Just know that even if I’m not with you, that my sentiment remains true, I care for all of you.
To Horse Fiction, we should get a round when I return. I’ve found nowadays that I’d been drinking to drown my sorrows but, I’d never do it to forget. I’ll never let myself forget anything ever again. I’m sure we’ll all need it by the time I get back.
From the time that I had first entered the magic college, I feared that I’d never have a place that I truly belonged, that felt like home outside of the one that I had left behind. I couldn’t have imagined what life would be like now living in the mansion with my friends. Jargar, thank you for all of the hospitality you’ve given me.
Sinner, a few months ago I likely never would have spoken to you, even now. But I suppose I really am starting to think like a Korvian like you’d said, rushing ahead as though I don’t have the years to spare. Here I am baring my soul, yet it’s my mother that holds the stand. I’ve reached a crossroads now, just as you have, a point in which I’m walking, no…running on this path towards my future. After all, it’s what Janus told me, and I’m sure you as well, to do: He told us to choose the right path. Janus only appears to those who are at diverging points in their lives, and It’s that meeting that’s rushed me onto this path towards doing what I think is right. I hope that you’ll be able to do the same. You’re a paragon of your own right Sinner. Do you intend to let anyone stop you?
Oraakil, had it not been for your help in Alzirgos, I don’t know how well I would’ve fared. After walking through memories twice over I wasn’t in the best of shape. I could’ve fought, sure, but I don’t know if my strength would have been enough, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to push through it all. I very well could’ve been stopped right where I stood. It was your presence, calm and strong, that helped keep me level headed in such a crisis, even when the world seemed to be collapsing around us. Thank you for being there for me.
Vodron, we both had fathers that weren’t exactly who we had thought them to be. Both of us, in some way, had lived lives dictated by what we had known our family to have been like, only to find out later that what we had known wasn’t the full picture. I’m glad that I was able to help you learn about your past, I know what it’s like not to know, and I don’t want people to be like I was. It’s always been my dream to help people, but it's been getting increasingly difficult to. So thank you for that. Before we left your dream world, your father stopped me and spoke to me, telling me to pursue my dream even if it meant making sacrifices, promising me that I would find happiness, and that when I did it would be greater than anything. It won’t be an easy journey, I’m sure of it. I’ll likely be wandering, not knowing my destination, but I feel comfortable knowing now that even if I wander, I’ll reach where I’m meant to be, where I’m *fated* to be, as you did.
Nalrik, just know that anything that happens to me isn’t your fault. You inspire me with how strong you can be even in times of great anxiety. Even after witnessing what we had seen, the way you stand tall, makes me believe I can do the same. If someone saddled by that much conflict can, then why can’t I? I figured then that I could, and that I would. Even if I hadn’t seen it… I doubt my path would have changed. It’s just another thing cast into this ever brewing potion of uncertainty festering within mind. If being marked means that they intend for me to die by their hands then that means more than ever… I need to act. I need to act before they get the chance to. I promise still that no matter how much the image plagues my mind, that no matter what tactics they pull out to stop me, I will not fold. I will not let them win.
Pretender, you helped me to learn that in reality, you’re only as strong as the expressions and weapons you wield, the actions you take. That in life we are always armed, whether in arms or in words, and only those who refuse to act, or are unable to are those who are truly helpless, as I was. I won’t make that mistake again.
Over my first year at the school, there were six of us that stuck together no matter what happened. A person who knew only war, a friend to all, an aspiring musician, a man who fought for equality, and later a man of faith, so different and yet, it was those differences and small similarities that we shared that held us all together. Even when it seemed as if my words were against you all, yours were still with me. Even when it felt like no one else would, you all still believed in me. I didn’t know at the time who I’d be able to trust, I was weary of everyone. It was in my second year away from everyone that I realized that I couldn’t have done it without them, that I had pillars of hope to rely on, people I could talk to, confide in, and support, and so do you; Think of who you’re hiding from, Murphy, we’re your friends. Please, don’t stay as I was.
Kathleen, you taught me to be bold, to be unafraid to speak my mind. Without you, I never would have been able to do this. I would not have been able to step into the shoes that were waiting for me, to walk down this path, I’d have been too shy to speak all that I’d need to say. With your music, your words, you’ve been able to shout your heart out for the whole world to hear, not letting anything, or anyone silence you. I’m no bard, but I’m going to have to play this by ear.
Ogonn, you’ve been there since the beginning. Is that why it’s so hard to say this might be the end? I’ll admit, you terrified me when we first met, and at times you still do, but, I’ve come to realize that first impressions aren’t what they seem, and maybe things that are scary may not be as bad as I first think they are. In the birdcage, you knocked down its walls, letting me see the outside for the first real time. All I ever knew were bars, having never left my home, that was all I had known the world to be. You broke those bars, and proved that there was more, that I wasn’t alone as a weave stained person dealing with the world’s apprehension to how we were born. Weave stained, and as I found recently, weapons, raised to fight for causes that were unbeknownst to us, causes that we couldn’t be told of, in fear that we’d rebel… and I’m not afraid to say that they failed, they failed in trying to force us to bend to their will. We became our own people outside of those confines, and I’m glad we were able to do so together. Even if we split off here, I know we’ll both be alright, after all you’re not a weapon, you’re my friend.
Shatt, before meeting you I had never truly understood what friendship was like. I had read about it in books, but I’d never experienced it for myself. Friendship, from what I knew, was overwhelming, loud parties, heavy drinking, a lot more than I could handle. I was worried that I wouldn’t be ready for it, to face people, especially like that, but being friends with you wasn’t as difficult as I feared it would be. Even if I was afraid to approach you, you were the first person not afraid of me. You welcomed me with open arms, and helped me understand that friendship was more than what I’d seen in books, that it wasn’t some burden. I learned friendship could be found in smaller moments like tea parties or just chatting with people I care about, that friendship was acknowledging people for who they are. Against all odds, against a perfect copy of me, you were still able to see who I was. That helped me understand what having a true friend was like, because I had you.
Where to begin when it comes to you, Shinebright. No… Finethir. Before meeting you I was certain that there weren’t many in the world similar to myself, and with what I’d known of myself and my kind, I doubted that anyone like me would even dare to have any kind of positive mindset, let alone be anywhere near as hopeful as you are. I had always felt alone, never speaking up against anything that deemed me so, but meeting you helped me realize that I wasn’t. Even from the moment we first met, you were able to bring everyone together in a way I never could’ve imagined. Since that day, you’ve continued to amaze me. I want to stand alongside you, not as a classmate, not as a member of the weave initiative, not as your friend, but as your partner. *And to tell you the truth, I…*
Thanks to a promise from Salasar, I came out into the world believing that I’d be safe. Then after only a few days, I was faced with the very hostility that I’d been warned about. All of the things Trifaera said were things that I had been told about, but I never believed that I’d really hear in a place that was supposed to be *safe*. I feared then that the promise that I had been given from the one person that I was starting to trust would be broken, that I’d been lied to. But in that moment of panic, you put your hand on my shoulder, and made sure that I was alright. The way that you stood up against her, I couldn’t help but find that drive to protect us all endearing. Even with what she said to us, you didn’t cower like I did. Instead, you led us to victory, and helped me feel secure like I was promised I would.
After my confrontation with Pretender, I was unsure of what to do next. With everything he’d told me, I was disorientated, I didn’t know where to go. But then I saw you from around the corner, almost as if you knew I needed help; you were a guiding light when I’d needed you most. Shining brighter than any of my fears, you united us all again.
You reassured me at first, just being similar to how I was, but I realized that over time it became more than that. I’d never really known what this feeling was, thinking of you made my heart run rampant as though I were afraid, yet I’d never felt more calm.
When you had asked me to go to Monion prom with you, my mind went blank, I didn’t know what to do. I was elated in a way that I didn’t understand, but all I knew was that I was happy that you had asked. Looking back, it’s just as you said, there are some people that can be quite fun to be around… I find you to be one of those kinds of people. In that conversation we shared while dancing, holding one another close as though our heartbeats would synchronize, listening to your voice I allowed myself to dream of that future, a future where you and I could live peacefully. I never had the chance to think of my own future before, but for what seemed like a pipe dream, it’s never felt closer.
When we left for our internships, I was worried about when I’d see you again. I worried even more after everything that's happened…and I’m still worrying even now. It was a rough year, and from everything I’d heard I know it was rough for you too. Where I went for my internship, a man there asked me if I had anyone I loved, at that time I had no answer for him as I hadn’t realized it yet. It took me going into my own subconscious to realize it. In my dream world I was told to manifest someone that could keep me calm, someone that I loved. Without even realizing it, I had manifested you standing in front of me, as if i’ve done it time and time again before. It was then that everything clicked. I realized then what it was then that that made breathing easier when I was with you, why it was that I never felt safer than when I was held in your arms with our hearts beating in rapid tandem. In that moment you were like an anchor for me, in my own mind reassuring me still as you have since the beginning that everything would be alright.
I’m glad that after everything that’s happened that I was finally able to see you again.
When Vodron told me where you were, I almost didn’t believe him. I know sometimes he tells jokes that get people's hopes up and I…don’t know if my heart could take that, not after seeing what’s been happening around the world. But there you were, sitting alone, almost as though you were waiting for someone. I’m… really glad that I was able to find you. It warmed my heart, engulfing it almost a healing light seeing that you were alright. I didn’t keep you waiting for too long, did I?
In returning then to the Magic College, there were times that I worried that all of this wasn’t real, because every moment I spent with you felt like a dream. Even in the smallest of moments, when we’d spoken in passing or sat together at the table in the mansion, my heart would flutter every time the thought of you crossed my mind. Never would I have dreamed of a feeling like this before, something so worry inducing and yet all the more reassuring, a feeling based on trust, something I’d lacked for far too long. They had warned me not to get caught up in dreams because I could get lost and never return, but your eyes are so dreamy that I could find myself getting lost in them. I’m afraid that if you keep looking at me so lovingly I won’t be able to fight it.
I’m not much of a combatant, and I doubt I ever will be but, I’m glad that I was paired with you these past years. They’ve been short, sure, but the placement battles with you made me see that even sparring could be enjoyable if it’s with someone you care about. Though with our last fight, I’m afraid I had taken things a bit too far. I had hoped to end things in a way that would help you, and given that I could heal I thought foolishly that It’d be fine. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll give it my all next time if you will, but I’ll never do something like that again, it hurts my heart to see you worried like that…. But don’t blame anyone else for my decision, don’t take your anger out on them. If there’s anyone you should take your feelings out on, whether it be good or bad, let it be me.
In short, I love you, Finethir Shinebright. I’m done with not saying what’s on my mind. Especially now that I can see what other people have been hiding. Some of them don’t ever get to say what they want to and I don’t know if I’ll get to say it again, so I’ll say it as many times as I can now. I love you. I love you. *I love you*.
I’m sorry that I had to make this sacrifice, but I’m sure that after this, happiness will find us, I promise you that.
“No matter where we are. As long as we’re under the same sky, we’re still together.”
Until we meet again,
Lorakaen Darelor
Lorakaen had also, using her Dream Magic, gone through her memories and found questionable acts committed by Olifla Darelor. She wished to know the truth, and needed to confront Olifla to do so.
She knew where Olifla had to be, having been given a compass by her years prior that was enchanted to point directly to Olifla's location. Lorakaen had to go to the Elven Forest, but she couldn't risk anyone going after her.
Thus, this letter was written.
It did not stop some people from attempting to follow her, but ultimately it helped them come to terms with her leaving them and respecting her decision, as much as it was painful.
Particularly, Finethir Shinebright, the man who Lorakaen confessed her feelings to at the end of the letter, was distraught. He wanted to reciprocate them, but he could not do that when she was not present.
Many that were present tried to comfort him, but it was unsuccessful, and he locked himself away for some time after the reading of the letter. He was inconsolable, as all this time he figured she truly did not feel the same as he did, but now he knew they both were hiding the same feelings from each other.
The day the letter was found, it was raining heavily in the city of Zephys. Those that discovered it (the folks addressed in the letter) remained in the room, as Vodron Nutsk demanded they respect her wishes.
However, Nalrik Tilrak needed to know for sure. He burst out, chasing after her and finding her. She remained hidden from him, invisible, but she did answer his questions, saying that she needed to do this and that she hoped to return.
Nalrik, understanding this, returned to the others.
Lorakaen Shinebright herself has not officially commented on the publicity of her letter, though Imvis has claimed that:
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