April Fool's Day is here!
To celebrate, Tsuwamono will be hosting a "dumb character concepts" contest! You have until Wednesday, April 5th, to submit a silly character concept to the GM. This can be as detailed or as simple as you like. Concepts will be judged on the following merits on a scale of 1 to 10:
- Wackiness: How inherently funny or ridiculous the concept it, subjective to the GM's sense of humor and objective to the ironclad laws of humor.
- Relevance: How well the concept fits within Tsuwamono's already-established canon, or parodies an aspect of such.
- Realism: How grounded and realistic to implement the character concept is expected to be within Tsuwamono's systems.
- Absurdity: How fantastical and unrealistic to implement the character concept is expected to be within Tsuwamono's systems.
- Chutzpah: A quantitative measure of jib and the cut thereof.
The concept with the highest total score will appear somewhere within the next two (2) sessions of Tsuwamono in a significant capacity and become a permanent part of the canon.* In addition, the creator of the winning concept can choose to rank up one character of their choice for free, regardless of affiliation (excluding PCs).
GLHF
(Ganbare, Lovely Heffalump Frog)
*As long as it doesn't screw anything up too badly
The results are in!
Below are the many wonderful submissions received for this year's Tsuwamono April Fool's Event, along with a brief summary of the material pitched. There can only be one winner (or two because we had a tie), but all submissions are appreciated and will be immortalized below.
#1: Ryō Bō (the) Kappa by Veshel81
An ordinary
Kappa who likes to fish and lost his arm in an accident. He met an engineer named
Saiba, who offered Bō a prosthetic arm in exchange for data collection on its usage. So, with a new lease on life, and possibly fishing, Bō takes on a strange new name.
Wielding his new Saiba Net(ic) implant, Bō may fire a tiny net at foes, who are powerless against it. His main tool/weapon is the A9 (Angler Nine), a makeshift spear gun made from the fishing rod that once required both his hands. He wears a visored hat or kabuto. To shade his eyes from the sun. And to look cool, I guess.
W: 7
Rel: 7
Rea: 4
A: 6
C: 7
Total: 31
maxim (noun):
a moral rule or principle
axiom (noun):
a self-evident truth (wherein morality is not necessarily required)
"Asmodeus, Ba'al Peor, Haagenti, Ira Sathana, L.S.N.P.A., Leviathan, Lucifer... After striking down each of the Demon Lords who sought to use him for their own purposes or entertainment, the knight emerged triumphant. He was now a being who seemed to hail from a different plane of existence altogether. Through his trials and tribulations, he has been freed from the bonds of mortal concepts such as 'right' and 'wrong.'"— The Tao of Axiom
Name:
道化師の公理, a.k.a.
"Axiom the Fool" (Akushiomu za Fuuru)
Rank: SS (if not SSS)
Gnosis: at least 45
Advantages:
Guts (Soul): Seemingly capable of returning from any death so long as his soul is not destroyed.
Animal Affinity (Horses)
Immunity to Pain
Immunity to Emotion
Disadvantages:
Susceptible to Emotion (Noble Steeds) [not necessarily just horses, so long as the "steed" exhibits those qualities generally associated with the noblest of creatures]
Susceptible to █████
He Walks among Us: Upon meeting Axiom for the first time, nearly all beings will find him untrustworthy.
Unique Trait: "Without Sin"
How can there be Sin when he has eliminated its personification? Axiom the Fool cannot be forcibly affected (damaged or otherwise) by those still beholden to such folly, unless their Gnosis exceeds his own. What constitutes a sinner or a sin for this purpose? The answer may lie in Axiom's own perception.
Unique Trait: Beyond Morality
Axiom's actions and thoughts cannot be categorized as Good or Evil. His existence has transcended such reasoning. Consequently, he never gains Elan associated with any being capable of granting it (unless...?). Instead, he may freely choose to copy those Gifts which suit him. Once per day,
and for each "level" of Elan which exists (10, 20, 30, etc.), Axiom may choose an Elan Gift which suits his purpose.
Techniques:
In the spirit of "GLHF," Axiom's special attacks and abilities all share this acronym. For example:
Gaining Lustily: Hot-Blooded Fervor
Gestalt: Lord's High Flame
Generous Lad's Honourable Fecundity
Gentle Lullaby: Handsome Favor
Galvanic Lightening: Hero's Flash
W: 3
Rel: 8
Rea: 2
A: 10
C: 8
- Total: 31
#3: I GOT REJECTED FROM MY FAVORITE TABLETOP RPG GAME SO I DOWNLOADED A GACHA GAME AND GOT SENT TO TSUWAMONO AND NOW I'M A SCULPTOR MAKING MONEY FOR MY NEXT TEN ROLL! by MaroPlz
Weeb, NEET, lazy... These words describe the character.
Obsessed with gacha games, anime figurines, etc.
Loves the world of Tsuwamono, constantly messaging the GM to play. Even if he offers money, he's always denied.
Downloads a new gacha game with an icon that looks like Gamble Kuma.
Does his free guaranteed "Lucky 10 Pull."
Gets a bunch of mundane feudal Japanese items, like rice.
His first rainbow is a beginner sculptor's kit.
His second rainbow seems to be an error and glitches out, transporting him to the world of Tsuwamono.
He wakes up in a small house with all the tools and resources needed to work as a sculptor.
Information fills his mind on how to sculpt items.
A karakuri construct shaped oddly like a Bear with a Top Hat is on one of his tables.
It's actually a gacha machine that he puts money in to get pulls. There is a pity system that activates after 90 pulls.
He retains all his memories from the real world and his lifelong dream has been to get isekaied away; however, he soon realizes he has literally no life skills except apparent knowledge of how to sculpt.
As if in disgust at the concept of isekai, the Bear Up Top has cursed him so that he shall never utter any word of the real world (for game balance, of course).
He decides not to get caught up in the Hashinara business, and instead capitalizes on a certain line of doujins by sculpting figurines of the characters therein.
Spends all his money on pulls hoping to get some kind of OP ability, but never gets anything worthwhile.
Sometimes the gacha gives him useful information like upcoming Hashinara events or details of characters in the world to help in his figurine business.
He has ZERO skills, even negatives in social secondary abilities, but with a fairly high score in Art.
This NPC is not meant to be in combat, but his pull have resulted in some buffs making him able to travel slightly faster than a normal human.
Disqualified
W: 8
Rel: 8
Rea: 1
A: 10
C: 3
Total: 30
#3: The Off-Ice by Bentomaru
W: 4
Rel: 9
Rea: 8
A: 2
C: 7
Total: 30
#5: Five Guys: Struggles and Tries by MalevT
Just a guy who has convinced himself that he's five separate people in a "Power Rangers" sort of fashion; five different personalities, with nothing malicious of downtrodden about it. Like, no BPD, no childhood trauma nonsense. He thought it would be cool to make a team, but couldn't find anyone with the kind of personality he wanted to fight crime with (read: nobody wanted to go along with his idea), so he decided, "
████ it, we ball," and began to do it himself. Just a dude who's trained himself to be five different people for different situations interchangeably, but they're all bad at their job.
Red Dude is supposed to be the leader but can't lead for garbage. He's just absolute dog████ at taking charge in a situation, but is good at meticulous things, like piecing together puzzles or figurines.
Blue Dude is supposed to be the genius, but he's just an idiot, "2+2=7"-sounding mother██████. But hey, he can cook you up a mean salmon dinner.
Green Dude is supposed to be the one who can fight, but he gets tied and twisted up just stepping over a railing to the battle. His hobbies include gardening and talking with little old ladies to trade tips on horticulture.
Purple Dude is supposed to be the one who talks things down, but he's an instigator and ████-stirrer. He'll make a situation worse just by being there, although it's been said this leads to the idea of intelligence. He likes finding things like underground fight rings and cockfights, gambling away whatever money the "other ones" have managed to scrounge up.
Yellow Dude is just "Steve," the archetypical everyman who's supposed to be the outward face; however, he ends up being the one who actually gets things done. Otherwise, the whole collective would have died in a gutter years ago. His way to relax is meditation, but nothing can be seen in his eyes, like he's not even there while it's happening.
Of course, it goes without saying, but this character shouldn't be purchasable by players. Five characters in one?
███████████ insanity.
W: 6
Rel: 4
Rea: 5
A: 5
C: 8
Total: 28
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