The Fantastic Squeeze-Box
The Fantastic Squeeze-Box is a tavern in the dwarven town of Shalefast, owned and run by Meg, a human ex-adventurer.
By no means the only tavern in Shalefast, The Fantastic Squeeze-Box is certainly the only tavern in the primarily dwarven town to be owned and run by a human. Known for it's high (for dwarves) ceilings, it is often frequented by non-dwarf travellers, passing through Shalefast, and by those dwarves who want a taste of what it's like to drink in a human bar.
The main feature of the pub is its bar, which is situated in the centre of the main chamber. The chamber itself is noteworthy in that the ceiling upwards from one wall to another, leading to customers at the bar tending to choose their position based on how comfortable they are, height-wise. Those dwarfs who have ventured in for a drink, but prefer traditional dwarven low-ceilinged ambience can be found at one end, while taller beings, such as visiting humans, are typically found at the opposite end of the bar, where they can drink in peace, free of debilitating back-pain.
The pub is also known for serving its own home-brewed ale, formulated by the owner, Meg, known as 'Barovia Best' or simply "BB".
In one corner of the main chamber is a small performance stage, which occasionally plays host to bards, poets and such.
As with most dwarven-designed buildings, there are several subterranean floors. While some landlords might take advantage of the extra space to try and draw in weary travellers with rooms for rent, the owner of the Fantastic Squeeze-Box, Meg, has been reluctant to do so, although several rooms are fitted out for the purpose.
Denizens
Sandi the Poet - A thoroughly mediocre-to-poor poet who often performs in the pub. He also lives in rooms on one of the Squeeze-Box's lower floors. Sandi is the younger son of a wealthy member of the Dwarven Trade Guild, who has paid Meg to house and keep an eye on his son, whose lack of interest in business and mining, in favour of artistic pursuits is seen as something of an embarrassment. Sandi is not particularly liked by Meg, but she allows him to stay as his father always pays her on time and more than the going rate for lodgings. Sandi's father's criminal connections have also dissuaded Meg from doing anything to cross him.
Rhykahm 'Ricky' Copperbeard - The Fantastic Squeeze-Box's bartender. Working at the bar is his first real employment, having grown up in Shalefast as the son of a minor trader. He has a good head for business and is someone that Meg counts on to help run the pub. Recently married.
Tomas 'The Slab' Steelchest - The Fantastic Squeeze-Box's resident bouncer. His no-nonsense attitude and imposing stature are most effective in keeping the peace, although the occasional bar fight that does break out is swiftly dealt with. Meg will often fuel rumours about him by adding her own embelishments, in order to further dissuade any trouble from starting. Relatively tall for a dwarf; it is rumoured that somewhere back in his family history there is a human element.
Architecture
Like most buildings in Shalefast, the tavern is constructed of sturdy stone blocks, cut directly from the mountain range itself. Outwardly, The Fantastic Squeeze-Box looks much like the other buildings in the town, but inside it is quickly evident that this particular building has been specially constructed with the taller folk in mind, with varying ceiling heights that allow comfort for beings taller than the average dwarf.
Like every other building on the surface of Shalefast, the tavern has only a single floor above ground. It does however, sport several basement floors, used for storage, and on occasion, lodgings for travellers, although the pub's landlord, Meg, does little to advertise this fact.
History
The building now in use as The Fantastic Squeeze-Box was constructed roughly a century ago as an extension to the quarters of the emissary from Vallanna. Upon the death of that particular emissary, however, the structure sat unused for some time, as the Shalefast dwarves found its high ceilings a little unsettling. For many years, it was used as a storage warehouse for unusual or unsellable curiosities dug up in the mines.
Following her adventures in a demi-plane, and after a year or so of travel through Vallanna as part of the band 'Karen and the Smotherers, featuring Ozmand', human rogue and squeeze-box afficionado Meg decided to buy the building and convert it into a tavern. Despite some inital grumbling about humans buying property in Shalefast by some of the dwarven elders, the addition of another watering-hole to the town soon mollified most.
Alternative Names
"The One Run By the Human"
Type
Pub / Tavern / Restaurant
Parent Location
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