Journal 1, Audio File Transcript: Uncertain Future

[A click followed by a crackling hiss begins as the wax cylinder begins to record]
[Quet sighs shakily, the sound as much the rustle of paper as a voice]
“Officer Quet recording journal 1.”
[The air crackles emptily for a long moment, before a crinkle of paper indicates Quet shifted]
“I never felt safe recording my thoughts anywhere unless they were about work.”
[A slightly hysterical laugh]
“I still don’t really, but everything is so empty right now, and the new Word Trees… Tree?”
[A brief pause]
“They’re different, and I don’t know how else to help start filling in the gaps than to give them something to work off of. It’s not like journals are meant to be shared anyway, right? And the people I wouldn’t want listening probably wouldn’t care enough to listen anyway… The others are too polite to be nosey, so I guess that’s trust?”
[A nervous sound, much like an exhale, the rustle of paper audible again]
“That sounded bad, right? I just… this is hard for me. I only just opened up to Vatna, and even that felt like… like stepping off of a cliff and hoping that something was there at the bottom to catch me.”
[A bitter huffing noise]
“Sorry, that sounded dramatic even to me, especially with everything going on right now… It’s what I had meant to talk about in the first place. Logistics and reports aside, I guess I should talk more about how I feel about what happened, than what happened. People can read the reports.
[A creak as Quet settles back in their chair]
“I just… I guess I don’t know what to feel. We defeated The Librarian, but I’m worried about how it was done. We had a plan and Royce… Royce ran off and took things into his own hands and killed him. In the end it might have even been for the best because our plan wouldn't have worked the way we thought it might, but in the moment it was terrifying, and I'm still not sure if... if killing The Librarian is even a good thing. Royce wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to change his mind, even after I warned him the dangers of killing someone that might be made of Knowledge from another tree, and now we’ll never know if we forgot something when he was destroyed.”
[Their voice becomes laced with frustration]
“He was just so reckless. And I know. I KNOW I should be used to it by now with the way some of our crew acts, but it was such a dangerous moment to be reckless, that I can’t help but resent him for it.”
[A pause and another rustling sigh]
“Maybe it isn’t fair that I look at it that way. He did what he thought was right, whatever his reasons. We all did.”
[A much longer pause]
“In the end, even Tea did. I think all of those Roots are the reason those worlds got dragged together the way they did, and cutting them free is the only reason we didn’t end up with thousands of worlds combined into what’s left of our plane. The only reason anything around us is even slightly recognizable.”
[Quet’s volume starts to raise progressively, voice eventually cracking]
“I just… why didn’t she help us since it was that important? We barely know anything. I barely know anything.”
[Softly, words barely audible]
“What did she mean when she said ‘Family?’”
 
[There is a long moment of dead air as if Quet forgot to turn off the recording]
 
“I’m not sure I did the right thing.”
[A fumbling thump is heard before the recording comes to an end with a hiss and a click]