Vito's Master List of Jokes
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.
How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why?
Inflation.
Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Cause you shouldn't press your luck.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my pillow fort.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?" The guy tells him, "Since next Monday."
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it!
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it!
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, "Mark, my words!"
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good thymes.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
We all know about Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads.
What’s a vampire’s favorite ship? A blood vessel.
Vito's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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Haha Character Sheet References
12 Aug 2022 09:13:39
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Vito's Master List of Jokes
30 Aug 2022 04:17:10
12 Aug 2022 09:13:39
30 Aug 2022 04:17:10
The major events and journals in Vito's history, from the beginning to today.
And they were gay
05:41 am - 03.09.2022Session 2: Journey to Haikyo
05:41 am - 03.09.2022EEEEEEOOOOOOOO
02:15 am - 03.09.2022Session 2: Journey to Haikyo
02:14 am - 03.09.2022Vito's Master List of Jokes
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line. How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five mov...
04:17 am - 30.08.2022Session 1: And So It Begins.
07:27 pm - 27.08.2022hi
02:25 am - 27.08.2022Session 1: And So It Begins.
02:03 am - 27.08.2022Haha Character Sheet References
https://www.skullsplitterdice.com/blogs/dnd/eladrin-5e#:~:text=Eladrin%20are%20elves%20with%20their,a%20bit%20of%20the%20spotlight. http://dnd5e.wikidot.com/spells:artificer http://dnd5e.wikidot.com/artificer ...
09:13 pm - 12.08.2022Session 0: How do we work this?
04:50 am - 25.07.2022Pretty neato
04:48 am - 25.07.2022Mwehehe
04:47 am - 25.07.2022Session 0: How do we work this?
04:19 am - 25.07.2022The list of amazing people following the adventures of Vito.
Social
Birthplace
Ilfrey, in the Fey Wilds
Contacts & Relations
Vito is familiar with Matron's Library.
Family Ties
The Salvatore Clan in the fey wilds.
He has two mothers, Elettra and Orsola Delagdo, and Gayatri Lavoie, his ex-wife.
Religious Views
Vito does not belong to any one religion, and while he can respect the gods and religions, he does not belong to any faith. Vito believes in manifesting his own destiny and bending the universe to his will, being his own god. While ones fate may be affected by others, in the end Vito believes that he can make the reality he desires and thrive.
Social Aptitude
Vito was not very well socialized as a child, and due to this, he is not very adept at social interactions.
Mannerisms
Vito is very expressive with his gestures and his excitment and mania manifests physically.
Speech
Vito has a habit of rambling when irritated or very excited.