The Path Forward

Where do I begin? I suppose it was fairly clever to use Master Ailmar’s face as the lure to capture me. Even though it should have been obvious that he wouldn’t have just shown up and been wandering around the alleys at night, I still managed to fall for the deception. I need to start being aware of my surroundings beyond what is just in front of me. If I’m to practice the arts, then I need to start considering their use.
 
I don’t know what troubles me the most. The dragon that now guards the ancient hall, the lives that it had taken from those I had met in the mines, or the fact that the ones responsible escaped justice. I only managed to save a few. Among them was the Elven Princess, however. With her I believe there will be renewed hope for the Elves and they can focus on helping us get to the bottom of whatever is moving in the Rift. Still, I’ve spoken to Connor and he is helping me form a list of names. I knew many of them, even if briefly, and would like to see their families get some good fortune from their loss. No amount of gold can bring back what was taken from them. The suffering that these men went through can’t be overlooked either. I believe I can afford wergild as well as possibly putting down funding to aid in searches for those lost in the future. Axel knew his words were his last and I foolishly thought I still had time. At least I can do this in his memory by using that coin of his.
 
It was just a few weeks and I remember expecting an army of men led by Bryon to come bursting through the door as my companions laid waste to one side while we rose up to fight back at the enemy flanks. It was foolish. This operation had been going on for years. I was just as ignorant to their captivity as others would be to mine. This is something that cannot continue. From now on I will give an effort to look into disappearances. Perhaps the spell that Master Pickman used for Grandma Gurdy will help with that. If I can learn such magic, then I can search out those missing and bring them home.
 
What’s more, when Master Ailmar was captured I noticed that he was stripped of his magic. Before I figured there would be a time I would need to become more open about my talent. Now I almost wonder if I should keep quiet about it. Foes who do not know of my gifts may lend us the advantage. Beyond that, I need to learn how to undo locks should this ever come up again. Next time I want to be prepared and not require a key. Maybe there’s a means of magic that will help with that.
 
I believe times are about to become quite dark. Maybe we’re just dredging up ancient secrets that were intended to remain buried. I somehow doubt that. The use of elementals seems to be common. There is no doubt that an accomplished mage could be the source of a few summoned elementals. If this Zanzier fellow is half as skilled as the Wizard Jeoffry, then what’s to say it isn’t him? He could be old enough. And what’s to say the poison at the bandit’s camp wasn’t him? Did he seek the stone? Perhaps that was just a coincidence, but it just feels like something big is coming and I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t even know how to prepare. It will take several lifetimes to learn even a fraction of their power and that’s assuming I have as much talent, which I sincerely doubt. Perhaps, then, a blending of honorable combat and the use of magic to defeat magical threats can be achieved.
 
Then there is the other matter. Father has always spoken about how dangerous magic is. Not only to others, but also oneself. I need to be careful if I don’t want to fall to the easy and corrupted path. I watched my foes fall quickly to a well-placed spell that seemed a trifle to Master Ailmar. It felt wrong. These men, however nasty, had trained for years and bettered themselves to face battle. Stripping the ability to fight from them isn’t how I want to be known. Perhaps I should reserve my magic for those beyond the grace of the Immortals. Orcs, goblins, dragons. All of those threats I can see myself holding no restraint. But men? Enemies from outside the Rift? Should I face them with honor even at risk of what I love? If I don’t, then my father would be right. If I wish to show people that there is a way to wield magic with honor, then I should start considering what restrictions I place upon myself.
 
Taking lives with magic leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. Even the death of the Black Knight, a man consorting with demons, felt wrong. Magic should be used to even the field, not end life directly. It should be useful for gaining information and protecting as well. Perhaps I’m being overzealous. I can’t be certain yet. The Elven princess, who enjoyed mother’s cooking seemed to consider the use of an illusion to cause fear “cruel”. I believe many would call her soft, but perhaps there is wisdom in it. I will need to pray on all of this. Petra and Halav may be able to guide me to a good answer even though I’m sure Zirchev would approve of using my magic to the utmost in order to preserve the lives of my people.
 
I want to use my magic to create and protect, not merely to destroy and slay. I hope Master Ailmar understands. As for the Wizard, I am uncertain about his offer. It would likely be the fastest way to learn magic. The knowledge he could offer, the things I would learn, it nags at my mind. All the more reason to distance myself. What knowledge he could offer is hidden behind vows. Vows that I cannot take should they make me choose between my people and my word. Master Ailmar does not trust him, Adrianna and Master Pickman do. Even the Elves are split, with the Prince believing in him and the Princess holding reservations. If they are so divided, imagine what the citizens feel! Would they believe that I, too, sold myself to whatever secrets are involved? No, I need to think this through far more deeply. At the very least I must learn to steel my mind far more than I can at the moment. That stone was readily able to sway my actions and my heart. If such an object is capable of that feat, then a man as powerful as the Wizard would surely have no trouble. I do not wish to lose myself again to any temptation, not power, not secrets. It pains me as I desperately wish to learn more about the mana that flows all around us. Someday, when I’m more experienced, perhaps I could speak to him as a colleague, even if I’m nowhere near as powerful.
 
I have learned the ability to transfer energy from myself to another. I think that this technique may be useful for Durbin. If he tires himself in battle, then I may be able to use a Powerstone to replenish his body. I do not believe it will help him use his prayers, but battle fatigue will be easily staved off. I should see about looking into this as soon as possible. At first I believed it would be most useful for refueling Master Ailmar’s mana, but I do not believe that is the case any longer. It is a versatile spell. The next I wish to set my sights on is the creating and shaping of light, I believe. What better tool against the darkness than that? Perhaps after I will look into the Apportation spell. If I master that, then I should look into both more forceful applications as well as the ability to make more fine manipulations. This is months of study, however, so I shouldn’t stretch myself too thin. My morning exercises should keep me sharp for battle, but I do still need to get better at some point.
 
No matter my path, I have a lot to prove and even more to learn.