Dear half-pint... Where to begin. I never meant to hurt you with my words. I only meant to protect you. I looked down and saw my heart ripped out of my chest. My white scales permanently spattered with crimson carnage. The lily-white Dragonborn laid helpless. Still then, I had felt more alive than I do now without you. I can not keep the promises I want to make. I want to promise that you and I will make it. That one day I will sail a ship with you as my first and only mate. I want to promise you a new life. I want to promise you security. I want to promise you a family. I promised you that for a long time. Too long. For too long I lied to you. As I saw my friends Vokt and Blithe set off to do what they had to and tend to their kin, I thought of you. Could I leave this quest behind and make a home with you. Could we be like Blithe and his queen and have little quarter pints. Could we be like Vokt and seek to repair our broken past. The answer is not no, Derga. I will always be your Lexi and you will always be my little half-pint. My one true love. My hope for a better life. I yearn for the day when I can be a simple caring lover. Simply a creature. Simply yours. Simply be Lex. Perhaps someday I can afford to care for you the way my heart yearns to care for you. Perhaps I can be that someday but I cannot be that now. I see that now. The world does not need Lex. The world needs Captain Calaway. I hope you can understand. Wait for me, Captain Lex Calaway

Following orders. The long-remembered excuse for my time under Rowan. All of the Crimes I committed. The atrocities I've undertaken. The widows I've made. The orphans I took. I was always following orders. Even when I was made captain I still was following orders until I met my limit. My Limit's name was Simon. A little Halfling boy that wasn't deemed tough enough to be a wolf of the aslaug. He was my first and only Child... An innocent lamb to the slaughter... We all have limits. Belford's limit was Adam. He could not see anyone else He loved die. We share the same torturous nightmares of death and destruction. The same tears. The same leadership. The same limits, or so I thought. He convinced me that we needed the intel from the King. That meant I had to make a deal with the devil. A hard call that only I could have made. It still wasn't enough for the intel, so Belaford made another offer. He took the king an let him go free... I tried to stop him but he got the better of me... Im still too damned weak. So here I stand, A a leader of a divided group of rebels and warriors. maybe Damond is right... It wasn't my call to make. But I did what Belaford told me today. I tried to complete my mission. I followed my damned orders. If you are reading this Belaford, it's not too late. We may have sold our swords, but please do not sell your soul. If not for me, do it for the leons. do it for us. Do it for Adam.

Life is as delicate as a dance. One small misstep and you plunge down toward the dirt. The crushing blows of steel to my body came again and again. I could not help but slip in and out of consciousness. It was the first time I recall feeling weak. Then one sudden slam of steel and I entered an unconscious state I had never entered before. I awoke to hear that I had died and that Vokt had saved me once Namala was able to kill Rockrad once and for all. A victory she deserved and a new chalice from the crown of her enemy. Nindle would be proud. Still, I am concerned. Maybe I have lost my edge. What's to say that I won't fall again when the time to rise comes? What's to say I am strong enough? What if next time, I don't wake up...

A suit for a Funeral. A suit for a Ball. Alas the time that we spent on this Island has been riddled with tales of prison breaks, death, and romance. Where has this left me? Stuck in a suit attending a ball. We had two deaths happen over the course of the past few days. First Vokt then Damond. Both of them brought back to life. Resurrection is a tricky business and a costly one. To hold one of your men as he dies and then have him attend a ball with you nights later... I must say I've never felt that feeling before. Is it appropriate to grieve? Should I be thankful? I do not know. What I do know is that I want to kill the bastards responsible for this. That wretched King and that shadow of Darkness. I've been told to temper my emotions for a time until we get answers at this ball. I suppose dead men tell no tales. I see the value in the intel they may have, but I don't care about their excuses or their silly words. I don't know them nor do I care to know them. I know enough. They spilt the blood of my brothers. For that, they will come to know why I was feared on the northern seas. We have danced around death a lot recently. It's time the champions of Zerrack have their turn. and I am more than willing to send them to death's ball in suit for their own blood and bones. Bastards.

The seven seas have called us once more and now the tides begin to turn. A shadow of zerrack took a ride with us and took the lives of some, not so innocent men and women. Among them was a Wardell Warrington. He has a job akin to something that I might want if I live through this. Sailing the seven seas, freeing smuggled slaves, and plunging the evils of the privileged and rich to the depths of the sea. It is with my future that I struggle. I have somewhat of a home in Samarathan. Seeing Namala's whiskers perk up with these terrifying leons has given me perspective. There must be a place where there are people like me. I just don't know where that place is. Is it in the north where my mother was and still may be. Is it on the tides of the sea? Is it here, with this new family? Is it with her? I can tell tensions are rising as every part of my life pulls against one another, searching to create my identity. And she wants to be a part of that Identity. The waves of my mind build as I think of her in the dangers of the sea, though my heart pounds with excitement in sharing it with someone. Or to rule over the lands of the North with a strong maden by my side. Who am I? Am I more Lex or Captain Calaway? Of this, I must be sure before I invite her further into my life. For my own good and hers.

I've fought for many things in this life. Mostly coin, but sometimes valor. Sometimes it was as simple as someone looked at me the wrong way. Other fights... they were more complex. Alas, rarely have I fought for love. and as the fortress fell and Blithe had come for his maiden, I began to understand why they write lovers ballads. It's a noble fight, the fight for love. It's a fight for the hopes of tomorrow. A fight for days not yet seen, however, dreamed of. It is a fight not to kill but to live... I have always fought to rid the world of something. Rid it of weakness, rid it of cruelty, rid it off the aslaug... I can honestly say that fighting to create something like a union of souls had never been the cause for blood to soak my blade till this day. as the crimson ran down my axe and as the undead vampires head rolled across the floor, It struck me: I had done it. I had killed to create. I helped birth a new order and landscape in the blood of hate. Now, as we embark on the next phase of our battle against zerrack, I am comforted with this feeling. I look to zeph all the ways she has grown and has allowed herself to be more than a weapon. She is human. I look to Namala and her childlike wonder as she makes faces at dead fish. I look to amir and rosemary and see new lives and new inventions together. I look to Vokt and church and see the hope of progress and a future. I look to Derga and... needless to say, I have plenty to fight for.

I Survived yet another attack from the depths of the sea. I somewhat missed the burn my lungs experienced from nearly drowning. The shears of ice in between my scales! Perhaps I am out of Practice! There is a dragon much like me whom we have realized to save blithe's woman, though zerrack must be involved We have encountered some of his followers who seem ready for a fight. Swatted me down like nothing... We have a challenge ahead.

We have been on the ship for a while now. The hours seem like days here, and as we go on a search for a powerful entity to aid us in our fight against Zerrack, I can not help but get a little nostalgic. I Once owned a ship like this... Beautiful Wood of the North with curves that cut waves like the untieing of Lace from a vest...Recruits would line up for attention every mourning, hoping to be picked by good ole Captian Lex... The sea spraying my face reminds me of the mist of powder and the blast of cannons on the day I turned my back on Rowan... The roaring winds blow me back and I remember the times I was captured by Zerrack. I was Captured twice in my life. once by Rowan, once by Zerrack. In all of this, I survived... The Smell of sea salt makes me wonder: How much longer Will I survive? Id love to see a day where I hang up my ax, put down my spear, and lead a group of men in nonviolent change. Maybe Pay repairs on the damages the aslaug made. Atone for my sins. Give the children of Samarathan the life I missed while I plundered along their shores. The life I stole from so many... Still, if this is my last voyage and if this war on Zerrack is my last war, I have the comfort that I swing my ax with a greater purpose. With people who believe in love (Looking at you Zeph and Geralt ;)). People who are more like me than those I spilled blood for before. Friends. If I don't make it out of Zerracks clutches alive, At least I will still be among the seas of Justice and love. If I live I will right my wrongs with speeches and charity. If this is where I finally don't Survive, then I will pay for my folly with the blood of Evil. Either way, I know what I am. I'm a Dragonborn of the sea, War in my bones, Mercy in my veins and innocence in my heart.

THERE IS VICTORY AND LOVE IN THE MIDST OF HORROR! As I (with incredible strength ;)) Retrieved the amulet of Zerrack, we were able to recover @Zeph's love (Don't tell her I called him that) @Geralt! I look forward to the side bars with Geralt to catch him up to speed with how to best Get with the rough and tumble teddy bear! MAYBE I WILL GIVE THEM THEIR BLOOD SACRIFICE AT THEIR UNION CEREMONY!! WHAT A JOY IT WILL BE! Also, that ivy harlot's snare has faded and it proved useful even though it was embarrassing. I have sent a warning to Samarathan about the rising. Today may be a day of hope.

In all my years of plunder, I've seen very little to cause me to fear... The helpless would whimper and the strong would be cut down, even the beasts of the deep sea have drowned in their own poison... But the corruption of Zerrack has done something new inside of me. The idea of a new world, absent of the hatred that has ensnared my childhood is a noble cause as any... but to be built on the backs of the strong who will be discarded... With this, I can not abide... As we conquered our foe and his icy grip latched around my arm to retrieve my friend, I was filled with this new force of nature: horror. Zerracks cause does not die with him. The rising is coming and I fear me and my friends may not be strong enough to stop it...

I am distraught... The forest has implored me to find it a child to help them. I do not want to disappoint her and the forest makes me weak. Could I enslave a child as I once was enslaved? Could I steal them from their family? No.. but I must.. but I cant... My lady... My oath... My mind is tearing at the seams...help...

GUYS! THE FOREST IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! I LOVE THE FOREST SO MUCH!! IT IS SO PRETTY!! THE TREES! THE ANIMALS! ALL OF IT!! I SHALL SHOW MY LOVE TO THE FOREST! I WILL NEVER HUNT AGAIN!! I WILL NEVER KILL AGAIN!! LOOK AT THESE PICTURES OF THE TREES!! SO SEXY... I MEAN BEAUTIFUL!!

Ah I nearly forgot! I am new to the Anvil of Worlds and I have very little knowledge of What to pin on my Board. Is this like a Bounty listing or something? I used my old rebel flag for a while, but here is a portrait of my strong Jaw and clear white scales! Men shall quake in fear and women shall quake in desire ;) Oi! Glenda needs help packing for the voyage! Sexy Lexy Signing off!

Strange woman miss. Glenda... Met her while playing war with some of the local kids... We were able to get lodging with her while we were in town... She used some sort of trickery to read Zephs mind.. BAH! You would have thought Zeph lost her other arm the way she reacted! Aside, I asked Miss. Glenda to show me my mind... She showed me my mother... The little knowledge my mind had of her gives me a good visual.. She was happy... she must have been good to me... To know the love of a mother... This is something I will never know. Thank you Rowan! You Rat-Bastard! You ay Atone for your sins and I may have spared you, but forgiveness for my lost childhood does not come so swiftly... We are now leaving with this Strange Glenda. She has met Zerrack before and may be able to lead us to him before he gets the opportunity to send for us in the night... Perhaps the element of surprise will give us the advantage to see what the hell he actually wants with the Prisoners of Fate!!

A dinner Invite...hmmm. On the one hand, Zerrack Murdered many of my friends but on the other hand, Rowan has changed. I've seen many crazy things in my days. These are strange times. Especially at the tavern tonight. I got all teary-eyed and Vokt calmed my spirits. He is no nindle, but perhaps he is more than I thought... Aside from that, it has been a typical trip. We had a talk with a Giant, we were offered drugs, and we murdered a revenant that had a hellish desire to murder zerrack. Then Church said he might leave... I don't know how to take this... It seems as though they all keep leaving and I haven't a clue why... We are now approaching Hemmingway... I will update there

Perhaps I was a tad harsh to the Dragonborn fool... His cruel master, Vorkhothal, devoured this loyal servant. So devoted and courageous, yet his master had no care... Pity he died in submission to evil... A waste of strength... The same could be said of Vorkhathal. It took me too my limit and I failed... I have not failed to slay a beast before, at least not this bad. @zeph took care of the heavy work and @Vokt took him out... I'm still shaken by this defeat... Will I perish without a cause like that poor Dragonborn? Will My life mean anything? I took the Dragonborn's bracer to remember... My death will have a purpose. My death will preserve innocence. My death will defend the weak. My death will mean something.

COWARD!!! I SHOW AN OUNCE OF MERCY TO THE DRAGONBORN AND HE FLEES LIE A COWARD?!?!?! HE WILL REGRET THE DAY HE CROSSED ME!! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU AND HONORABLE DEATH IN BATTLE, BUT YOU HAVE SHAMED YOURSELF!!! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR GOD< GROVELING IN THE FILTH I WILL DRAG YOUR LIMP FLESHY MEAT OVER!!!! AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Before I slept, I read my tome of dreams.. I bored of my medicinal book, although @Vokt has taken an interest in teaching me such pursuits.. an odd one for sure, but careful,,, Anyway, I had a dream that healed me.. or did it.. My mother was in the dream. She comforted me. Gave me some soup.. Then an angry red dragon burst into the room fuming mad.. Could this be my father? What does this mean? Physically I was healed but emotionally.... BAH! hear me talking of emotion! Rowan really did mess with me noggin after all...

We have finally engaged the people responsible for the Red Claw that torments the people of Samarathan. Me and Damond (a peculiar fella who knows Draconic for some reason) convinced the kobolds that we were a humble priest and the soul embodiment of Gnesh. He is clever. I took a captive from combat.. A talkative fellow. He screamed that he wanted to be finished, but it seemed smarter to hear if he had anything to say. I know, I must have lost my touch. or my lust for blood... I don't even know after my encounter with Rowan... Even still the morning will tell what the Dragonborn knows knows

Ugh.... The bastardous Aslaug has left my grasp and I was delivered a gracious shell of the murderous brutes. I met up with Rowan and I nearly murdered him... Long have I awaited his throat's breath within the clasp of my claws. His blood on my snout... his skull on my mantle... I had it all... but in the eyes of a young child, I saw the fear I had when I was taken... I let Rowan go... He asked me to right his wrongs and to promote peace. as he faded into the distance as he had done years before, I seem more damaged than our last encounter. Rowan was no longer the murderous man who forced me into the monster I still am. So why do I still enjoy blood? Why does the rush of battle boil my blood to its depths? Perhaps what he did was unchangeable. Perhaps I am the wrongs he has done. The wrongs he needs righted. Damn his Wrongs. Damn his destiny. and for all eternity, damned be the Aslaug. Rest in the belly of the deepest sea, you unholy unity of false strength. False strength and true weakness.