session 2; why, bureaucracy, why
ok. I know the Orzhov are pretty bad. We spend not only our lives, but our entire afterlives, performing empty rituals for gods we absolutely know don't exist. Preserving mad family customs and obeying thousand-years-dead progenitors. And we'll kill, die, enslave, and bring final soul-death to protect our right to be utterly miserable doing those things.
Yet, I'm pretty sure the Azorius have us beat when it comes to tedious, pointless activities. I mean, they have literally created an entire branch of magic just for organizing and filing forms. It's so bad, that they have hundreds of creatures spontaneously born of piles of unfiled paperwork that voluntarily spend their entire existence filing yet more paperwork (and occasionally reproducing in dark corners). I don't even know where to start with this.
And yet, it's another Orzhov that completely ruined my trip there. I mean, did he have to practically run me over with his stupid griffin? And then pretend like it was an accident. I'm sure he knows it doesn't matter. After all, apparently I'm now just a chambermaid. Tomik Vrona, yet another person to grind me underfoot. Or, rather under gryphon-claw. Why would I expect anything else.
Anika's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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session 1: yes, my life sucks.
02 Sep 2023 02:44:20
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session 2; why, bureaucracy, why
18 Sep 2023 12:58:00
02 Sep 2023 02:44:20
18 Sep 2023 12:58:00
The major events and journals in Anika's history, from the beginning to today.
Session 003 - Sludge the Star
04:03 am - 18.09.2023Oh my god. Is that Rare LaMoth? I can't breathe.
01:10 am - 18.09.2023Session 003 - Sludge the Star
12:59 am - 18.09.2023Session 002 - An Evening at Pivlichino's
03:50 am - 07.09.2023I was feeling upset today about something. I just had to vent my feelings somehow. If you saw a griffin Not within a cage, Would you tease and fret him Till he roared roar ROARED slash SLASH SLASHED til BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD gore. Knowing he could kill you, and devour? You would. (irl Modified from From Don't Tease the Lion, Ella Wheeler Wilcox)
02:46 am - 07.09.2023Session 002 - An Evening at Pivlichino's
01:15 am - 07.09.2023Why does that pestilence-that-is-my-blood persist in thinking he has psychic powers? Has he always been this stupid or is he degenerating with age? Some vampires get so strange. Obsessed with counting grains of rice and all sorts of nonsense. I suppose it could be worse.
02:50 am - 02.09.2023I put the fondue forks in vases on the table though.
01:47 am - 08.08.2023He changed his mind. They had soup. With [i]spoons.[/i] and sandwiches.
01:45 am - 08.08.2023Why does it matter whether the fondue fork tines are 1 and 5/16 of an inch apart or 1 and 3/8 apart? I mean, we're talking a FORK here. It's not like they're going to line up the dinner, poke it in the neck with the fork, and then match their teeth to the holes. NO ONE DOES THAT. That's what fangs are for! Vampires like using fangs. No vampire EVER in the history of Ravnica EVER decided, "Oh gosh, I just don't want to dull my teeth. Let's poke my trembling victim neatly with a fork tonight, shall we?" The dinner party guests will not care about the forks. They will not [i]use[/i] the forks. The forks are for the humans. For their cheesy dip stuff. I've been to nine stores and everyone just has normal fondue forks. Because of course they do. And no one is going to custom make forks for me before dinner tonight. Even if it were in the budget. Which, as Simon reminded me today, it most certainly is not. Maybe if I buy cheap ones and just bend the tines a little... Perhaps I can bend them [i]on Simon's face.[/i]
01:42 am - 08.08.2023Uncle says he has to have his filter installed. That it's a crisis. Plumber got halfway through and then decided they needed to be paid. Of COURSE they wait until the water source faucet's already disenchanted to raise the price. It's blackmail, plain and simple. Simon yelled at the plumber and won't pay, that it's not in the budget, and it's highway robbery. Plumber, insulted, storms off. Of course, who ends up carrying buckets of water, hmm? Buckets of [i]magically charged[/i] water. Of course.
01:24 am - 08.08.2023No matter what Uncle says, I just can't believe the magical alignment of his bathwater is that important. I mean, he's an undead vampire. It's not like lawful water is going to give him wrinkles. Does he make this stupid stuff up himself, or does he have some sort of evil imp following him around, whispering these crappy ideas in one ear? I always end up dealing with the crap. In this case, the plumbers. I'm half-tempted to get the tapwater blessed. See what happens.
01:14 am - 08.08.2023The list of amazing people following the adventures of Anika.
Social
Birthplace
Ravnica 10th District
Current Residence
Enezescu Manor
Contacts & Relations
Although the outside world might see a seal-carrying member of the powerful and fantastically wealthy Enezescu clan, the clan itself knows Anika is essentially worthless. Just another cousin, unfit for breeding, without magical talent or brilliance, and too far from the core family line to be given anything important to do.
But she can't leave, of course. Once an Enezescu (even if you don't carry the family name), always an Enezescu. After all, the patriarch didn't get to the top of the Orzhov guild by letting any assets slip through ghostly fingers.
So find her something to do. How about we make her go rein in another unfortunate Enezescu? A leech on the family finances, a drain on the corporate assets, and an embarrassingly vampiric almost-immortal. (He didn't even have the decency to go ghost when he died.)
We've already dumped that weird loner, Simon, on him, and told Simon to get the finances under control. But Fabio requires more restraint. Simon wasn't enough. Throw Anika at him, see if she can make something out of that mess sometime in the next sixty years. Or so. Who really cares, so long as they doesn't embarrass the family?
Honorary & Occupational Titles
The Honorable
Wealth & Financial state
Technically, she has access to near infinite wealth via her family. In reality, her cousin Simon holds the purse strings on her allowance, and he's a parsimonious tight-ass.
Family Ties
It's way too messy. Definitely not healthy.
Religious Views
Well, her first ancestor is still around after ten-thousand years, a nearly omnescient, omipotent magical ghost with a host of disturbing and unsavory habits. Fortunately for her, bothering to meet Anika would be a waste of his (nearly infinite) time. He does, after all, have thousands of descendants. Some of them are even still around....
Social Aptitude
Highly observant, not very friendly. Occasionally persuasive.
Mannerisms
She wrings her hands, stares at the floor, and glares a lot.