Did I make the right choice?

I find it a little bit strange to write the two dominant things on my mind right now. The first, as ever, was my choice to formalize my membership within the Nightshade. Ever their discussions reach the ears of my kin, and for most harried left and right by the terror of the Sin Eaters, it was all too easy to nod in agreement and make an oath to serve. But for me, I had my hesitation. Nothing opposed to their goals, as it might seem. For me, the delay came from Lowri, my most important friend I have known since the days she and I were children. Her pleadings that joining the Nightshade was, in fact, the worst option I could make. Her mind ever fixed on the Crystarium's promises, the tower of pure crystal said to have appeared in the middle of our ancestral lands from out of nowhere, she felt their people there had a better answer, a more significant way to solve the threat. Therein lies the source of my second thought. I've always taken her counsel to heart. She and I trusted each other over anyone else, even back as little children. But this was the first time that I could have considered that we disagreed. And mostly when it was in regards to something meant to protect our way of life, our history threatened by the ever consuming Light. I thought I was choosing the better for our people. But she said I was a fool and stormed off in anger. It's heavy upon my mind, but I can't back out of the decision I've made. The Nightshade doesn't take lightly on those who recant. I hope that in time she can see the reason for my choice, even if I have to part ways from her to accomplish my goals in service to this cause. Still, I can't help but question my actions. Lowri's never been so upset like this before.