Realization

Nightshade's attractiveness lies in the fact that it is action, an effort organized for and behalf of the elven people. My people. From experience and thought on the motivations that don't make any sense, such as the smuggling rings, one learns that it is a cover-up. The love for Laxan shared creates only a mask on this group. Their real goals organize to protect not the lives of all elves, but the lives of the descendants from those who joined with the Shadowkeeper in antediluvian. The cabal I was assigned to learn and emulate had no empathy for how the actions of their ancestors caused a civil war, and they paraded their associations as if it was some gift to the land, not the direct reason for the fall of the nation. Those scared of the Flood and the threat of the Sin Eaters are simply buoys to keep these inheritors safe, some even convincing those of my people to embrace their end and sacrifice themselves for the greater good of protecting the cabal.
 
Such a truth was evident, but so many just ignored it against their own better judgment. The risk of being accused of a traitor to all elf kind on top of being a coward allowed so many to ignore the reality of who we were protecting. They forced all our aggression towards the Crystarium because it was they who feared it, not because it was an actual threat. Their cruelty and lack of concern for anyone outside their forces me to analyze everything that led to this point. And as deep as I was, I felt I was not going to be able to walk away with this knowledge.

Though I could do something, I still had Lowri I trusted, even if we haven't spoken in so long.