Introductions All Around

Mr Mud,
 
Thank you for spending the time to get to know me. I’m Kick. No, it’s not my real name. That’s what my tribe would do to me if they caught me unaware, and the name just stuck I guess... (Thats so dumb. Why wouldn’t you change your name? He doesn’t know anything about you) I don’t want to lie...
 
Please don’t pat me on the head. I know I don’t really have anything here *motions for height* or here *taps head* but I’m actually 17. I’m just a halfling... well a half halfling. A quarterling? I guess it doesn’t matter. (Nope, and make sure you tell him you're plain of face, your body is a limp, flat chested 5” noodle, your stringy black hair needs a wash like the rest of you) but I have mom’s emerald eyes! (More like a puke green)
 
My dad was the halfling. That’s all I really know about him. My mother is Atli the Executioner. You’ve probably seen her. Our tribe tends to be on Wanted signs and Bounty lists. I have a half twin sister sister. Lady the Lyncher. She’s as opposite to me as I am to my mother. She’s the one talking beside me (Not really. Mom kept me. Kick’s just crazy so she hears me in her head telling her how worthless she is.
 
Listen, I know you think we’re cruel but Kick’s an idiot. And she’s crazy. And she’s tiny. She wouldn’t stop asking about Dad so Mom beat her. She’d disappear for a few hours, come back covered in her healing mud shit. And she still wouldn’t shut up!) it was just medicine. Just enough to keep in my feet (So Mom had the tribe beat her. And even then the little rat would run and jump and dodge. The beast is a slippery little thing. )
 
I think I got all the halfling and she got all the barbarian. I’m pretty quick I think.
 
(Then when Mom banned the tribe from talking to her, she’d sneak away and talk to the wood elf scouts. And if we locked her up she started chatting to the fucking birds and tribe wolves)
 
I can’t help it. No one would talk to me. You’d only talk to me if I fought. I don’t know why I was cursed. And I was never a good fighter.
 
(Shut up Kick, I’m trying to explain why you’re crazy.
 
So one day, we decided we had enough of her. I gave her some sleep potion we left her with a magic jug so
She wouldn’t starve and left. I gave her mom’s old great axe when no one was looking)
 
That’s how I know my sister loves me. And this is just a test. I’m going to find them all again. And get strong doing it I hope. So I’m worth a better name.
 
Ok let me scratch this out of the dirt. Thank you for listening Mr. Mud. (Go hunt some food stupid. No one listens anyways)