YOOOO CHADDERS WHAT'S GOING ON WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER BLOG ON MY NEW SERIES: CHAD GOES GLOBAL #CHADgoesglobal
This adventure started on the 16th of April and kicks off with an absolute banger of a cast
Joseph Christ, the super chill , super humble , nature boy
Mary the sheeeeep , keeps it real fr
Seren Nade, Satyr Made , music hater , magic nerd who will kill to #savethetrees
Detlet, outcast from society FOR BEING TOO SWAG , bald , prosthetic master with a pro-aesthetic
We start by heading north west
As we skedaddle, the forest gets kinda lame and weak , and all the animals just dip #yikes
WE HOPE TO NAME THE FOREST "THE FOREST OF CHRIST"
We find a deer torn to the bone by some kind of tool
Find a totem rock with weird symbols on it ? #cultshit #creeeeepy
THEN WE GOT HIGHHHHHHH ON 4/20
Mid weed but it's Coolio coolio we moovio moovio
Set up camp like the goats we are
All of a sudden BOOM
I wake up to hear super loud footsteps outside camp
Wake the CHADDERS up with some prime MOTIVATION
Joseph The Goatseph sees a BIG ASS CYCLOPS making its way downtown, walking slow
It's got some funky looking arcane runes and jewels on its arms #ICEDOUTBOY #WIZARDBLING
Joseph hides Mary to protect the cyclops
I use THAUMATURGY to make sheep noises like a goat like a sheep goat #shoat
Bro is still on our path tho, so Seren hides in the bushes like a LOSER
I USE MY AWESOME ARCANE ARMOR READY TO FIGHT THIS DEADLY CREATURE OF THE NIGHT
THEN all three of us standing around wave at the cyclops, cuz we #DIPLOMATIC fr
Bro is polite so he waves back like a real G #realG #polite
My boy's name is Bront
Bro is looking for sheep
Sheep discussion time
He kinda friendly tho fr fr
Bront wants sheep really badly, so I point in a random direction we do a little trolling
Turns out, that direction is where SILLY SEREN is hiding
Bront finds Seren and is mad no sheep are found #sadmoments #cry4ever
Joseph and yours truly make a MASTER ILLUSION to make Loser Bront to leave us alone
Bro starts chasing then sounds a loud ass horn and he got BIG WOLVES on his team so we skedaddle
On our path, we come across a buncha (10) burnt magical items THAT ARE COMPLETELY UNUSABLE
Except for some tinkering research
Some notable stuffs:
1) Elemental gems
2)Wand of webs
3) Ring of X-ray vision
4) Wand of Magic Missiles
The three genius, wise people, examine the items and Detlet finds out the insignia on the items is of MANSHOON
LORE TIME
Super historical mf
Hot tall half-elf man with long black hair
Has a badass mask
Super duper trooper Cooper EVIL
Bro cloned himself a million billion times
Think of how much content I could make with TWO of me so swag
As all super nerds do, took it toooo far
Buddy died in an anti magic field (imagine dying from mfs hating your magic LOOOOOL)
Kinda fucked his soul, tore it to many pieces
Lots of Cloneshoons being activated at once XDDD
Clones kinda went wack always on sight with each other
Multiplicity Paradox as Seren suggested, perhaps?
Uh I mean, SHITS CWAZY CRACKERS YO
OP Wizards fight = huge deaths, havoc #prayforwaterdeep
Clones made clones
Mutually assured DESTRUCTION
Assumed they all went bye bye years ago
I guess not yo
#Premiumcontent
MAKING INCREDIBLE DISCOVERIES HERE IN THE CHAD ADVENTURE
KEEP READING BELOW FOR MORE EPIC STUFF
We keep moving forward and I find a DEAD MANSHOON on the ground
Three weeks at least, according to Joseph Christ
There's a broken mask on his face
I'm out here breaking the mould, destroying the competition
So I WEAR THE MASK
SICK DRIP
I get a heads-up display showing the exact locations of MANSHOON clones
Colour Coded
Red is inert
Blue living
The mask is broken so it recognizes me as Manshoon Tee Hee
Chadshoon
Find the exact location of 1 inert clone
It's time to liberate [steal] a baby wizard and make him a good guy
DETLET the G finds a super OP scroll of SUNBURST
He also put Deadshoon (dead Manshoon) in his bag of holding
On our way over to the adoption centre, we find another dead Manshoon encased in ice
Coldshoon
Another addition to Detlet's collection
Find another one torn to shreds, not picked up cuz ew we got food in our BOHs brah
We come across Bront's LAME CAMP
It's also the location of the entrance of the SHOONCAVE
DEEP cavern with a circular entrance with his insignia on it
I chuck a glowing rock down there and HEADSHOT a ZOMBIE!?
Very cool!!!
The Chad community do not discriminate fr
Detlet and I come up with a MASTER PLAN
Detlet takes out one of the dead Manshoons from the BOH and holds it up to the zombies
I use THAUMATURGY to make a BOOMING voice and do my best MANSHOON voice (I'm like, a super good actor frrr)
I tell the zombies that "I, Manshoon, have some friends over, so be cool, yo"
Chadrizz never fails
I get angelically repelled down by an invisible rope
I DON'T fall the last five feet down
Zombros are cool, they got the place tidy and they like us
My first zombie Chadders
Detlet was gonna make em all prosthetic limbs
The cave lights up after realising Chadshoon is in the house
The SHOONCAVE
--70ft wide hexagonal room
Continual flames everywhere
Raised platform with bronze statue of MANSHOON (hot girl summer Manshoon )
STATUE OFFICIALLY CLAIMED BY THE ARTIFICER COUNCIL
Three Iron golems blocking bottom three doors
One broken golem on top left door
No golem on top right door
Don't know where to go
Mary the sheep aka the goat decides for us
Try too left door but the golem starts glitching and speak, which scares everyone else but not me, but still we go to the right door
Door is trapped but we're wicked smart so no challenge
What the fuck can I say about this next room, Chadders
Spiral staircase going up
A rough looking Manshoon clone staggers from a door at the top and FALLS DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAIRCASE and dies #ripbro
"Woah woah WOAH" he says as he's about to fall
"Not another one" he says when he says me with my sexy mask
When he dies, he poofs away
We're confused until another Manshoon pops up and DOES THE SAME THING
Meet Loopshoom
Current theory:
Failed Contingency spell keeps him eternally stuck in a "time loop" according to Seren
Makes sense, that's why clocks are round after all
Bro keeps falling XD
Tried talking to him but he's rude and kept dying mid convo
Initiate epic plan
Detlet casts snare to catch him and keep him hanging so that if he falls, he lands on his neck
I cast FEATHER FALL #likeaboss
I impersonate Manshoon again, but a better, more successful version
Makes sense, Chadshoon is the best Manshoon iteration after all
PLAN INITIATED
Bro is confused and gives us no info
Before he goes super arch mage destruction on us, we kill him again (L BOZO NERD )
Loopshoom stay looping
Joseph, the nicest and kindest person everrr, casts spike growth under him to impale him EVERYTIME he falls
Content is content.
LOOPSHOOM IS INFINITE CONTENT
Before we continue, I leave a recorded message on a trinket saying "You got fucked by Chad" so EVERYTIME he falls, he hears that message
He's evil, it's okay
We move past the loop onto
The LIVING SPELL Room
Inside was a bunch of live spells, the last line of defence between us and super wizard baby
Spells we remember
Bigby's Hand
Magic Missile
Summon Beast
Some lightning spell
The summon Beast turns from a crow to a GIANT GORILLA and punches both Seren Nade and Joseph
Seren Nade gets instantly KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT
Joseph gets his head pulverised
He is dead. My friend is dead.
Detlet gets slammed by the magic missiles but survives
I don't get hit by anything! #swag #goat #swagoat
Detlet heals Seren and drags her away
I drag what remains of Joseph and book it to the next room
I put what's left of him into my bag of holding and wear his necklace on my neck
We reach the clone room
Find a clay pot
Inside is a little half-elf baby that kept saying evil monosyllables, but I'm sure we can fix that!!!
We take it and dip #newbaby
Is it time to become a family blogger?
As we're leaving, my mask was off so the zombies use their 1 brain cell and begin being hostile
Detlet uses that sunburst scroll and RIP ZOMBROS #REALONES #INMYHEART
I leave another recording trinket that says "Chad was here, yo"
Mary the sheep stays not sure why but I trust her
We leave the cavern JUST as Bront and his wolves come back
I make sheep noises down the cavern and he DIVES IN THERE LIKE HE'S GONE SWIMMING #GOATBEHAVIOUR
His pack of wolves follow him
What an alpha
Nice to gift a man a new home
We make our way back to the outpost
Me, Detlet, and Seren are officially co-parenting the baby
We named him Joseph Shoon
RIP JOSEPH CHRIST, THE BEST OF US, A TRUE CHADDER, HE WILL BE MISSED
#rip #death #died #joseph
Thanks for reading CHADDERS! Make sure to stay tuned for more exciting adventures from your local taverns or parchment store!!!
CHAD OUT
{This journal without the emojis is hollow and unholy, sorry if it looks a bit questionable because of that lol }
