Interlude: Coward

*Thud* *Thud* *Thud*
 
I threw the covers aside and sat up. Six months into the latest journey through the warp and sleep didn't come as deeply as it used to. Truth be told, I felt that the monotony of the voyage was eating away at the edges. Days spent on practicing up skills. Times in the firing range with Yarn. Occasional bouts of pugilistic sparring with Braxton. Doing my best to keep up with Marya when debating some aspect of the Uplifting Primer, or whatever topic took our fancy. Occasionally, we would all cross paths in the mess and say such things as, "Remember the time when we though you were a heretic? Oh, good times."
 
I gathered my wits and opened the door to my quarters. A lone soldier stood there and snapped a salute. Years of drilling meant that I found it difficult to resist the urge to do the same.
 
"Acolyte Cromwell: your presence is required on deck 13 aft."
 
My mouth twisted reflexively at the sound of my old name, as if I had just accidentally inhaled from a grox's intestines. I looked down at myself. I was dressed in little more than underclothes.
 
"Gimme a moment while I make myself more presentable, Corporal..." I looked at his badge, "... Ellis."
 
"I regret that my orders are to escort you there, quote, however I find you and be quick about it if you want to keep your skin, end quote."
 
I raised my eyebrows. Nothing with this kind of urgency had happened in some time. Maybe there was some trouble. I motioned that Ellis should lead the way and I trailed behind him as we began the journey across the ship.
 
Old habits die hard and I had most of the ship scouted within a couple of weeks of arriving on the vessel. Massive though it was, it was good to know where to find things. The barracks were always a good place to go to let off a little steam. Soldiers get bored and will gamble anything. The armoury in case of attack, even the bridge and engineerium. Any cogitators with access beyond the very basics were off-limits, of course. And I had attended services in most of the ship's chapels already. But deck 13 had always been inaccessible. My curiosity was piqued.
 
Ellis eventually led me to an elevator shaft guarded by two marines. Carapace armour. Standard issue las rifles. No name tags. Their reflective plasteel-faced helmets obscuring any distinguishing features.
 
"Acolyte sigma 16 gamma, code purple!" he recited at the marines. A moment passed before one of the them nodded and motioned us forward with the tip of his weapon. "You are cleared," came his voice, slightly distorted through the helmet's vox unit.
 
We entered the elevator and took the slow ride down. The doors eventually opened into a surprisingly sterile corridor. The rest of the vessel was marked constantly with imperial iconography, signage, and personnel. This was just a plain metal walkway.
 
"This is as far as I go, Acolyte. Please go to the end of the corridor and enter the room you find there. They are expecting you." He all but pushed me out of the elevator. The doors closed behind me and I heard the whirr of the machinery grow quieter and quieter as I was left alone. The corridor was not long. Maybe a couple of hundred paces or so, with the promised door at the end. It slid open sideways as I approached.
 
Inside was a bleak room, barely distinguishable from the corridor. Metal panels covered the floor, the walls, and the ceiling. The only feature that set it apart was a black metal chair, in the centre.
 
"Be seated, Acolyte!" boomed a voice from everywhere. Probably some vox speakers hidden away.
 
"What's going on?" I asked the room.
 
"Be seated, Acolyte! Now!" I stumbled forward as if I had been shoved from behind. I turned, but there was no-one there. I took a breath, and sat down in the chair. Immediately, I felt my hands press against the arms of the chair. My heart began leaping in my chest and I fought to keep myself from hyperventilating. There were no manacles that I could see, but it was certain that I was not getting up until they were done with me.
 
The voice boomed once more. "We want to ask you questions. We want truthful answers."
 
"Ask away!" I said, a note of panic beginning to enter my voice. "I am but a loyal servant of the Emper-AAAAA!"
 
I felt as though a dozen frozen icicles were jabbed into my eyes, pressing into my skull. I jerked backwards, the back of my head bouncing off the metal of the chair. It made me dizzy for a moment but that was nothing compared to the rest of the assault.
 
As suddenly as it had begun, it stopped, and I slumped forwards, panting for air. I didn't even know I'd been holding my breath.
 
"Tell me," said the voice. It didn't feel as though it was aimed at me. I said nothing. Time passed.
 
"So he really is a deserter, then. Well, he has no use for cowards like that! Do what you do."
 
Icicles. With tiny points of white hot fire.
 
Air. Wonderful, beautiful air.
 
"What do you mean, not a coward? He deserted his company! He should have died with the rest of them!"
 
My head lolled as I listened to the words. I hadn't felt like this since the morning after we had shared that bottle of Du Languile amasec. The voice was right. I should have.
 
"I see. Well, that surely inhibits his effectiveness as an agent. Be rid of it."
 
No!
 
The icicles hit once more. I gritted my teeth as an unearthly groan escaped my throat. As soon as it started, it was done.
 
"He's holding on?"
 
An eternity passed.
 
"So he either keeps it or it's a full mind wipe?"
 
Right now, that sounded blissful.
 
"He's lucky I have orders... by the throne, this thing's been transmitting all this time? Acolyte! You will be returned to your quarters. Sleep well."
 
I had little time to process the sentence before I blacked out.