Origins of Suspicion

14 Vulcan 2558
 
*Sigh*
 
The veil of inebriation truly is a charlatan’s best disguise. A sealed vault covered in celestial runes on the edge of the Everdine forest seems laughably obvious in sober retrospect. I mean, he managed to pull one over on both Mushroom and Cooper, and they were the brains of the operation (serving as only the muscle is relaxing from time to time). But come on, the entirety of this con job was so gratuitous in its setup.
 
Okay, let me elaborate on some details. Last night, the three of us made the acquaintance of a human going by the name of Matthias. He claimed to be a farmer way out on the edges of Everdine forest. He was rambling on about invoking the wrath of the gods; so needless to say, he was fun to talk to. A sink hole had supposedly opened up on his property, giving way to a small series of caverns which lead to a stone door. Long story short, the door was engraved in celestial markings and promised plentiful treasure/danger.
 
We spent a full two days travelling to the blasted place. We only began to question our decision after we hit the halfway point, and by then it was too late to turn around (sunk cost fallacy and all that). We took turns hauling the chest of loot we had dredged from Lake Everdine. Cooper with all his artificer prowess had quickly fashioned a little hand cart for it. Matthias offered to do his part in pulling it, but Coop insisted that he shouldn’t. He tries to hide it, but his basic kobold side shows whenever money is on the line. (He even slept with the chest tethered to his leg).
Sitting atop a Well of Magic, the pristine pool promised some profitable pickings. Dreams of ancient relics remained dreams; but what we suspect was the remnants of a forgotten bandit hoard would have netted (hah, pun) us a couple hundred gold pieces. Would have…
 
Matthias “farm” was in shambles when we arrived. That should have been our first clue. His homestead roof had collapsed, and his fields were overgrown. He fed us some more ‘wrath of the gods’ lines and we went along with it. We were quickly led to a recently ploughed plot where the sink hole had opened. As described, it was a narrow shaft that dropped for about twenty feet, opening up to a cavern.
Mushroom’s slight half-elf body made them the perfect candidate for the job. Drop down, find a stone door aided by druid magics and relay back a thumbs up/thumbs down: easy. And to our surprise… he found it. None of us spoke celestial, but it did seem legit.
 
*Sigh*
 
Here comes the dumb part.
 
It was fake.
 
All three of us had descended to but our brains together to crack the door to the biggest haul of our careers. The door was exquisite in design, decorate in magnificent celestial symbols. Complex locks and hinges tried to keep us out; but some well-placed explosives and a touch of nature magic had us through door in under a half hour. Through the door into… an empty dirt cavern. We quickly retreated, surfacing to confront a Matthias who had vanished into thin air. With our loot!
 
The three of us were absolutely stunned by the sheer absurdity of the situation. There was no way that guy was a farmer. We followed the carts tracks to the remnants of a teleportation circle and Mushroom concluded that he would have had to use something as advanced as Stone Shape to build the “vault door”, considering its location and complexity.
 
This shmuck had strung us along for nearly three days and had access to, *at least*, fifth level magic. He had set up this needlessly complicated story and circumstance, to make off with only a moderately valuable collection of heirlooms and art pieces.
 
I write this as we make camp for the evening. We make for Aceitunas in the morning; robbed of our valuables and, embarrassingly, our pride. Suffice to say, this story is not one I will be sharing around the guild hall.