Of Missing Friends and Cruel Fates

I scarce even know where to begin this entry… today did not go as any of us expected, and now we are down two party members, with little chance of getting them back or saving them from their fates…
 
Okay… breathe, Marushka… you know it’s bad when I’m talking myself through this, even just to write it down… here goes…
 
This morning we set out from the gatehouse to find the center of town. Apparently that is where the magical aura surrounding this place is… at least that’s what Elaine said. I can’t seem to get used to her presence… she sounds like Elaine, but not. There is no spark in her eyes anymore - obviously not, because she’s FUCKING DEAD! I don’t understand what dark pact she made in order to come back, and while, it is nice to see her, and I’m glad that Brynden has some shadow of his sister back, she is not Elaine anymore. Gone is the adorably awkward conversations, the trying-to-be-subtle but failing utterly attempts at flirting… it’s as if she is but a husk. Much like those of my people who are born soulless… she has no emotion, no joy, no lust for life or knowledge anymore…
 
But I digress. I think it is just easier writing about the return of Elaine and the ramifications that I’m holding my breath for, than to think about what happened today… But I must…
 
As we made our way through the flooded streets, Oswald leading on his horse, I stuck close to Trevor. I think he could have probably moved through the terrain faster, but I really appreciated that he stayed close the whole time.
 
There were bodies floating around everywhere, and the stench was enough to almost make me vomit. Fortunately it didn’t look like there were any more weird vines around to grab us. The road was blocked by a mass of dead bodies. I was relieved when Oswald and Trevor decided that we would go around.
 
We took one of the side paths through the ruins and interrupted some dark ritual. I tried out my dispel magic spell that I learned not too long after leaving the village of Barovia. It worked well enough, I guess. Although it didn’t do much in the long run, it just might have bought us an extra minute or two. We fought the cultists and their summoned or raised, or whatever it was, abomination. But that was nothing incredibly new. Everyone handled it well. Adrastos can apparently fight quite well, so that was good to find out.
 
Then, everything went to hell…
 
I could hear the crashing noises of Baba Lysaga’s walking hut coming closer. But nothing prepared me for it to appear right behind me. It wasn’t even more than twenty feet away. I screamed and ran as fast as I could away from it. I knew there was no hope of outrunning it - I mean… it is a moving, walking, apparently teleporting house! As I ran, I heard Oswald call for me to get to his horse.
 
I don’t know how I managed it, but I scrambled up on the back of his horse while he was fighting, and he wheeled Yesper around and took off. I didn’t have any idea where he was taking me. Frankly, I didn’t care. I’m ashamed to say that I completely panicked. My mind froze. The only thought that was constant in my mind was that I needed to get away. I curled into Oswald’s back, trying to make myself as small and unobtrusive as possible.
 
Now that I think back on it, I’m embarrassed. I should have been able to handle myself better. I shouldn’t have panicked like that. And I definitely shouldn’t have pressured Oswald into abandoning the party like I did… this is all my fault…
 
We charged down the street and ran straight into the pile of floating corpses that we had skirted around earlier. The rose up around us and tried to pull Oswald and I from our perch. I kicked out at one, but barely had time to react before Yesper reared up and charged through them, trampling them with his bony hooves. I wondered for a split second, what a magnificent horse he must have been in life, if he is the formidable in death… but it was a fleeting thought.
 
I could hear sounds of fighting in the distance. Trevor’s voice came in on the wind, shouting my name. Guilt took over then. I pleaded with Oswald to take us back. I didn’t want the others to die on my account. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice any of them to let me get a little bit farther away, and only postpone what I knew must be the inevitable. Oswald told me that he had no intention of leaving any of our friends to die, and we looped back towards the rest of the party.
 
I could only get an occasional glimpse through the ruins of the walking hut, and what the party was doing. It was stopped. I could see Trevor hiding on one of the balconies. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he must have somehow managed to climb the damn thing. I didn’t get to see what happened next, because the ruins blocked my view again.
 
A few moments later, we were on the open road again, charging straight at the front door of Baba Lysaga’s hut. I could see Trevor, Elaine and Adrastos laying prone on the ground a short distance away, and could hear cackling coming from inside the hut. I didn’t know what was going on, but I figured that I would be able to have the best chance of stopping it.
 
I yelled “Baba Lysaga!” Screamed it, is more accurate. I couldn’t tell if she heard me, or if she would even respond.
The house shimmered and disappeared. What the fuck?
 
I jumped off of Yesper and ran to where Trevor and the others lay. I asked what happened and where Brynden and Eerika are. Trevor said that Brynden was taken into the hut, and no one knew what had happened to the dwarf.
 
Oh fuck. I don’t even know what horrors will be brought upon Brynden. I shouldn’t have run away. This was all my fault.
I think the others set up camp. I don’t remember much. My mind was running in circles of panic. Oswald’s face appeared in my field of vision and he said he was going to cast a spell on me. A few moments later, my emotions calmed enough that I was able to think more clearly.
 
The guys… well, now it’s just Trevor and Oswald, seeing as Brynden was captured… and I am not going to count the asshole Adrastos… something is up with him. But I’m too overwhelmed right now to figure that out… told me to just sleep, they would figure out the watches with Elaine. Yeah, did I mention that she doesn’t actually sleep either? It’s weird. Weird and horrible.
 
I’m going to try to sleep. If it will even come tonight. I don’t know… my life is falling apart, well, what little life I had… and I’m apparently taking all of my friends with me… maybe there is no way to avoid it… maybe I am destined to become a monster. I won’t do it… I will never let myself turn into one of them…
 
In the morning, I’m going to talk to Trevor. Oswald won’t be the best to talk to about this, because he naively believes that everyone can ultimately, be saved.
 
]Later…
 
I woke up and found Elaine on her watch. A figure was walking away from her. Strahd disappeared into the mist. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. She didn’t say what he wanted, but it can’t have been good.
 
So, Elaine has decided that she’s going to send a message to Baba Lysaga to try and negotiate for Brynden’s return. I pulled Trevor aside to talk to him. I had some things that I needed to ask.
 
I asked Trevor if he would kill me. I could tell that it shocked him, and he flat out refused. I explained my reasoning… he is a monster hunter. So, out of everyone that I know… if I turn into a monster, a hag, he would have the best chance of tracking me down and killing me. I don’t ever want to become a hag. I would rather die than be like those we fought at the windmill… killing children and baking them into pies. I would rather die.
Trevor insisted that I won’t turn into a hag. He told me that I’ve been talking to Brynden too much, and that even if I have demon blood or hag blood or whatever, I am still me. And my life is my own to do with what I want.
 
I appreciate what he said, but at the same time… can any of us really argue with fate?
 
He said that we have done far crazier stuff than keep someone away from Baba Lysaga… now I think I might have some idea of how Ireena must feel. Although Lysaga wants to turn me into one of her daughters, at least it’s not the devil trying to marry me...
Trevor finally promised that he would kill me if I started turning into a hag. But he promised that it would never come to that.
 
He asked me if there is anything else he can do to make it better. I told him not here. I think he thought I was flirting, but honestly, nothing could be further from my mind right now... and if I am the abomination that all of this would suggest... then who would actually want me of their own free will anyways? I’m not going to command someone to want to sleep with me. Never that... it would make me worse even than Strahd...
 
I hope with all of my soul that Trevor is right, and I’m not fated through some dark and twisted power to become a hag... I guess only time will tell...
 
Now we are off to see what we can do to get Brynden and Eerika back… and hopefully, it won’t be too late...