Ruminations of the Heart

After my last journal entry and during our travels I have thought about how to structure a school to teach others to use their stones and what ideals we should value. Protecting the people would be high on the list. Protecting innocents as well. This got me thinking about the great fire we caused. How many died from what we did? Were they all evil, greedy men looking to plunder the land? Or were they simply there because it was a job and that’s what everyone was doing? Were they forced to go along or simply too afraid to speak out? If they had a choice would they have abandoned what their Lords were ordering them to do? I am beginning to regret those actions. Yes we dealt a blow to House Grigor and we got some much needed coin from the venture. But what have we done? Are we no better than them in resorting to their tactics of burning people alive? And what of Kaen? I don’t want her thinking it’s fine to just burn people anytime they disagree with us.
 
I realize there must be Chaos with Order but I must strive to defend Order. It is Kano’s and others' to move in the realm of Chaos. I accept I cannot control everything but if I ask people to swear oaths to this I must myself be following those same ideals. Every situation will be different and it will be up to that person to make the choice. Sometimes the choice will be wrong and all we can do is reflect on it and learn. We must be strong when others are weak.
 
I don’t know what the right choices are. I believe defending and helping House Setvori to be the right thing. Looking back now I have to wonder if Galrix could not have been redeemed somehow. It’s too late but I should remember in the future that what we see as evil they may not see the same. I wish I could help redeem the Son but I fear the Widow is too far gone now. She will eventually learn I have the sword and we were the ones who turned him over to Saeti. I must look harder at my choices and determine what the consequences could be.
 
Life before Death - the lives of ourselves and others should be protected utmost. Strength before Weakness - we must defend the weak, sometimes even if we don’t agree with them. Journey before Destination - we need to understand the consequences of future actions. It’s a start. I must follow these ideals more from now on if I expect others to live up to them.