Tragic Backstory - North Text

Now this is a story, all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a [Social Construct], just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the agent of a new god called [Redacted]
*Music*
 
In west [Redacted], created and raised
On the brass-ground is where I spent most of my [Social Construct]
Chillin' out, maxin' relaxin' all cool and all
Shootin some anomalies outside of containment
When a couple of biological entities who were up to no good,
Started makin trouble in my aromatherapy clinic
I got in one minor altercation and my god got scared ^1
He said "You're movin with [Redacted] and Fiber in Realspace."
 
I placed multiple formal requests with him [Social Construct] after [Social Construct]
But he materialized my suit case and sent me on my way
He gave me my piano and then he gave me an ipod nano ^2
I put my yeezys on and said to Monocle "You could have told me this was going to happen." ^3
First class, sho' this certainly ain't bad
Drinkin orange juice outta a champagne glass
Is this what the people of Realspace livin' like?
Hmm, this might be all right
 
But wait I hear the prissy, booze, wine and all that
Is this the type of place they should send this cool-cat?
I don't think so, I'll see when I get there,
I hope they're prepared for the fresh prince of footwear
*Music*
 
I arrived at Realspace, and when I came out,
There was a dude who looked like a [Social Construct] cop standin there with my name out,
I ain't tryin to commit war crimes yet, I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
 
I whistled for a brass transport, and when it came near
The license plate said "Chaotic Neutral" and had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say this cat was rare, but I thought "man forget it, yo homes to [Redacted]!"
*Music*
 
I pulled up to the realm about [Social Construct] or [Social Construct]
I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later"
Looked at my future conquest, I was finally here,
To claim my throne as the fresh prince of footwear
 
1. See article on "The War in Heaven"
2. The song "Piano Man" is incomprehensible in the Alloy Plane of existence, and so must be listened to manually
3. Yeezys have been verified by multiple independent studies as "stylish" yet "Perfectly functional" in combat, but should not be worn in conditions when they could get dirty, as this will devalue them