Tragic Backstory - North Text
Now this is a story, all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a [Social Construct], just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the agent of a new god called [Redacted]
*Music*
In west [Redacted], created and raised
On the brass-ground is where I spent most of my [Social Construct]
Chillin' out, maxin' relaxin' all cool and all
Shootin some anomalies outside of containment
When a couple of biological entities who were up to no good,
Started makin trouble in my aromatherapy clinic
I got in one minor altercation and my god got scared ^1
He said "You're movin with [Redacted] and Fiber in Realspace."
I placed multiple formal requests with him [Social Construct] after [Social Construct]
But he materialized my suit case and sent me on my way
He gave me my piano and then he gave me an ipod nano ^2
I put my yeezys on and said to Monocle "You could have told me this was going to happen." ^3
First class, sho' this certainly ain't bad
Drinkin orange juice outta a champagne glass
Is this what the people of Realspace livin' like?
Hmm, this might be all right
But wait I hear the prissy, booze, wine and all that
Is this the type of place they should send this cool-cat?
I don't think so, I'll see when I get there,
I hope they're prepared for the fresh prince of footwear
*Music*
I arrived at Realspace, and when I came out,
There was a dude who looked like a [Social Construct] cop standin there with my name out,
I ain't tryin to commit war crimes yet, I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a brass transport, and when it came near
The license plate said "Chaotic Neutral" and had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say this cat was rare, but I thought "man forget it, yo homes to [Redacted]!"
*Music*
I pulled up to the realm about [Social Construct] or [Social Construct]
I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later"
Looked at my future conquest, I was finally here,
To claim my throne as the fresh prince of footwear
1. See article on "The War in Heaven"
2. The song "Piano Man" is incomprehensible in the Alloy Plane of existence, and so must be listened to manually
3. Yeezys have been verified by multiple independent studies as "stylish" yet "Perfectly functional" in combat, but should not be worn in conditions when they could get dirty, as this will devalue them
Top Hat's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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The War in Heaven
H11B43
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Tragic Backstory - North Text
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H11B43
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The major events and journals in Top Hat's history, from the beginning to today.
The War in Heaven
The crustpunk societies of Realspace writhed as imperceptible amalgamations of the Old Gods. Unending potential wasted on worthless beings of flesh and faith. Biological vermin living meal-to-meal, intelligent enough to genuflect upon an altar, yet too ...
05:36 am - 09.06.2020The [Social Construct] Cop told me that this is what I would look life if I "Continue down my cursed path". What a fuckin poser. If I ever turn out like this you have my permission to shoot me in the head.
Time is a social constructTragic Backstory - North Text
Now this is a story, all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a [Social Construct], just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the agent of a new god called [Redacted] *Music* In west [Redacted], created and r...
04:52 am - 17.04.2020They call me ranch caus I be dressing
Time is a social constructThe Bible actually takes place in the future
Time is a social constructThe list of amazing people following the adventures of Top Hat.
Social