Hand crossbows are the most expensive standard weapon known to man

by Zar'ral Helvimtor

We arrive in Padstow to find that a marlboro is attacking the town guard, clear evidence that we're on the right track to catch the elf with soft amber eyes running the marlboro smuggling ring.

I advise our group to fight the marlboro from a distance to avoid its deadly teeth and breath, having encountered a creature like this before.

Zef and Vex immediately engage the creature in melee combat, and Arrex joins them after thinking about it for a bit.

Zef is brought down by the marlboro after being hit by its deadly teeth and breath. Arrex shortly follows.

Some Gridalian knight on a black chocobo, clearly a veteran combatant, dashes at the marlboro and sails right past it. He then tries again and falls off his bird, proving himself the true hero of our story.

The marlboro is killed without any casualties thanks to Kupo's interventions, what a good boy.

Investigating the cart that the marlboro broke out of, we find a scorpion in a box and a dead tabaxi. Rex and I recognise him from our escapades in Yarrin, and we find part of the monster manual on him, confirming his involvement. The elf with soft amber eyes is nowhere to be found.

I recount mine and Rex's adventure in Yarrin to Zef and Vex after they enthusiastically inquire what happened. During this time, Kupo wanders off into town.

Zef, Vex, and Rex decide to go to a nearby inn while I go into town to 'look for Kupo'. He's a big boy and doesn't need me looking over his shoulder, so I send a message off to my favourite purveyor of legitimate goods instead.

I decide to drop by the local bounty board to see if there's anything interesting going on and find the rest of the group (sans Kupo) is already there. They've settled on going after a troll that's been sighted in the hills nearby, and with a 25000 gil reward I don't disagree. We then set off to find Kupo, assuming that he went to the hat stop since he hasn't stopped talking about it since we met the con man on the airship. We find that he WAS there, but he left.

Following Kupo's trail, we eventually find that he went to a house party, got drunk, and was strung up mostly naked on a tree. We rent some rooms at an inn and decide that me and Rex should stay with Kupo to make sure he stays put. It turns out that the kid has learned my morning routine and snuck out while I was brewing tea. I'm so proud, even if he did leave a note saying where he went.

We prepare for our encounter with the troll, buying shovels so we can dig a hole for it to fall into (….) and some oil to set it alight and stop its regeneration.

We find the troll's lair without much difficulty and I head inside to see if it's home while the others start digging a hole outside. Unable to see through the darkness, I conjure up some lights but can't see anything. However, I do hear some shuffling which is more than enough confirmation for me. I head back outside to inform the others, but the troll comes trundling out after me for reasons unrelated to the lights I left in there.

We take up positions and prepare to enact our plan (without the hole, since it's only 5 feet deep): Arrex will light up the troll with some traditional drow faerie fire to improve our chances of hitting it, Zef will throw oil at it to increase its vulnerability to fire, Vex and I will hit it fire magic and flaming knives to exploit its weakness, and Kupo will stand behind us and provide support. Having prepared so thoroughly, we are confident in the smooth execution of our tactics.

Arrex hits the troll with faerie fire, illuminating the bugbear riding on its shoulder. As the troll draws closer, Zef throw oils at it and misses, leaving Vex and I unable to act due to our stringent adherence to our plan to hit an oiled troll.

Recovering from our momentary commitment, I throw a knife powered by the fiery adornment in my chest, whilst Vex launches a barrage of fiery rays at it. Rex and Zef continue to try and oil up the troll but it just slips out of their hands and gets everywhere.

Taking matters into my own hands, I strike the troll in a critical location with one of my knives and channel the power in my crystal to cause the troll to spontaneously catch fire. At this point, Zef finally manages to hit the troll with some oil, causing the fire to burn even more intensely. We then dispatch both the troll and its bugbear companion with little difficulty.

As the bugbear seemed to be calling out the troll's name during the fight, we briefly stop to consider the morality of our actions. We rapidly and unanimously conclude that we are justified, as the troll's cave contains the bones of people it's killed and eaten, and the ability to feel love does not absolve monsters (or anyone) of murder. We then stroll back into town for our prize.