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30th day of the 12th month, 278 CA

Only accept free piercings from professional studios

by Zar'ral Helvimtor

  • Arrex and I spend 3 days in our cabin and don't speak to anyone.

  • We leave the cabin and find that my adoptive brother Kupo is aboard the ship along with his adoptive father, Grand Inquisitor Zephyr Highwind, as well as his other adoptive father, 'Captain' Vexacious Rein. I introduce Kupo to Arrex, his new adoptive father/mother/zombie.

  • Kupo has started some kind of 'swear jar' scam among his parents. A single tear rolls down my cheek into my empty pockets.

  • Our ship is attacked by mini albino marlboros. I do a radical ninja jump from the deck to the captain's cabin and Zephyr becomes salty that he isn't the only one capable of vertical leg-powered propulsion. The captain (the actual captain) barrel-rolls the ship and lands it in a mountain range.

  • We climb the mountain to find a cave to recharge our ship. We're accompanied by someone. They carry the power barrel for us.

  • Kupo wanders off but we don't worry because we hear his pee spoon.

  • We encounter a confusion of moogles. In the room past them, we find a giant crystal being attacked by a gargoyle. We kill it.

  • Some kind of moogle demon prince appears and the moogles we encountered attack us alongside it.

  • We beat down the moogles non-lethally to avoid the wrath of activists. The moogle king punts our brave barrelboy into a chasm, then begins a slow, meandering charge towards Vex. Vex fails to dodge, evade, or walk leisurely away from this charge and gets smote. I stab the Moglord from behind and it explodes.

  • We see visions of many places and recall next to none of them afterwards.

  • We wake up and find that we wouldn't look out of place in a homeopathy store, as our abdomens are replaced by crystal piercings.

  • We all get our weapons out and touch tips, which repairs the damage the gargoyle did to the crystal. We then go back down to the airship with the fully charged barrel and ask to be dropped off at the nearby chocobo ranch so we can go on a field trip to a lighthouse.

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