Conclusion and Confusion

I take note of my efforts desirous to track for myself what caused countless years of preparation to crumble before the whim of an unskilled whelp.
 
The data was so carefully laid out, each experiment dutifully logged, no margin of error was possible.
 
And yet, I lost and all my work now lies cast beyond my reach
 
I must lay out my next steps with caution. I am being watched by the guard, they know they cannot trust me and yet they cannot rescind the name I worked to earn. A fruitless tug of war.
 
If I find my son and finish the deed then I will regain the lost respect and can continue my research with little intervention.
 
None know my true aim after all.
 
Why would they? Bound in their traditions and omens I've naught to worry about losing the goal in sight. But as disgraced as I am right now their traditions are my greatest barrier.
 
I need to find R'nehva.