Figuring Things Out

We went back to the Inn that Cerviel recommended, I was really struggling to maintain a solid state in time or plane, I have had this happen in the past when I have done certain magics that tap into my reality of time and space, this was minor, not at all like what happened after the battle and Jack’s death, but I don’t want to think about that right now as I am just starting to feel “here”. I am at Cerviel’s apartment at the university and it is so strange to think about people just living their lives following one stream, going day by day through living life as if it is solid and dependable. I wonder if I could have ever had a life like this, meeting friends, going to school, people liking me and not being afraid of me or uncomfortable around me. But truthfully, I don’t think such a life is for me, I was raised by amazing people with all kinds of interesting lives and skills to teach me. What people describe, and Cerviel has been so lovely to try and explain what it is that she sees, as “normal” might be nice for a little while, but it also seems very strange to me and I’m not sure if I would like it.
 
Anyway, we have gotten to know Al and Eks, Luxanna and Valrick a bit more as the day progressed. Al is a sweet young man and I do owe Mr. Eks an apology, my littlest self doesn’t seem to understand that she shouldn’t share memories with people without asking their permission first and I am not sure how to make her understand. He lost his whole family and I am very saddened for him as I understand how that feels, at least with Jack he is not gone, but my little self feels the loss of our mother very strongly. Luxanna was beautiful and terrifying in battle, she was so confident in her skills, it was quite amazing to see, though intimidating, but she actually seems to be very gracious and kind outside of that situation. Valrick is interesting, his puppet has my littlest self’s attention and I worry that I will have a harder time not slipping back around him, but as that is already an issue with Cerviel, I’ll just have to try and work on it. He makes interesting things and I want to talk to him about his recipes and maybe share what I have.
 
We also met some very interesting people, their leader’s name was Callista and they seem to be all people who are outside of acceptable society working together to take care of each other. I feel like maybe that is a place that I could fit in and I wonder if they would allow me to stay there if I’m never able to find my way home again. I do not want Cerviel to feel responsible for my well being, I know Jack asked her to watch out for me when I was in my little form and he couldn’t stay any longer, but it is not her job to do so and I will have to caution him on making her feel as if she needs to. But these people, they didn’t seem to mind me and I was able to ease some of their aches and pains and maybe I could have a place there to help them and feel like I belong. Their home seems to be in the shadows and I am most at home in the shadows, something to think about and talk to Jack once this business is done.