After the Fight

I've never been one to write down my thoughts. Other sailors do, especially the captain and officers, but not me. My memory is too good. However, that's not why my shipmates write. It's not for themselves, but for others. Stories for their children and families. Letters to their wives and lovers (may never the two chance to meet). The old saying goes "you only live so long as there are others to remember you". Maybe that's why I'm taking to quill and parchment; to take a chance at being remembered after the light leaves my eyes and my body is committed to the sea.
 
The fight against the false god, Chum, left me feeling exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. Fights always take some toll on the body, but few get into your mind like that. Watching one massive skeletal shark swallow Mara whole was bad enough. Mara is tough as hull nails and able to brute force her way out of most situations. Then witnessing the second one snatch Thalia clean out of the sky did something to me. I lost control. I never loose control. I'm the calculating one, the tactician. Emotional decisions don't win battles. In the moment, none of that mattered. My thoughts, my actions were consumed with saving her. Then she, not only saved herself, but destroyed the offending creature in spectacular fashion. Drawing me to her more. And I don't fully understand why.
 
Ever since Thalia join our group in the koa'toa lair, she has fascinated me. I want to know more about her. I've never seen anyone like her in all my travels. She certainly doesn't mind my company and I enjoy her's. I wanted to say something stupid and poetic to her before the fight, but I couldn't find any words to say. It's probably for the best. I don't know if anyone has noticed my behavior around Thalia. Maybe Balasar. He picks up on these things better than most. Bards are like that. Even if he has noticed, part of me doesn't care. I want to understand these feelings. If not for myself, for those it may affect.
 
Until I can write again.